Post # 1
My FI’s extended family wants to throw me a bridal shower…. um okay. Don’t get me wrong, I’m SUPER thankful I will be getting things I will need in the future…. but I am a bit weirded out by the way they are doing this.
It will be just me, Fiance isn’t invited. They are trying to find a time or weekeend where I will be able to travel 8-ish hours just for this during the school year. Which DOES make it hard.
I feel awkward about the fact I have never met them, as well as the fact I cannot invite them to the wedding. My family is paying, not FI’s, and we cannot afford to include them in the guest list, especially since they don’t even mean a lot to Fiance.
My family has not offered to do anything for me like this. And I know it’s customary for FI’s family…. but I honestly feel the only reason they are doing this is because they are curious about me. Kind of second-thought…. since this is RIGHT after I got an invitation to my FSIL’s shower they have seemed to meticulously planning since they have known her for years.
I will probably go, but I just feel awkard about it. It’s nice they offered but I feel bad taking anything from people I will probably never see again for years since Fiance and I live so far away.
Post # 3
I don’t think you should accept a shower given by people you cannot invite to the wedding. I would say thank you, but decline.
Post # 4
Post # 5
Since its 8hrs away, kindly tell his family that you will bring some members of your family to the shower. Also I would have Fiance setup a meet and greet before the wedding.
Post # 6
They probably just want to make you feel welcome to the family … however if they aren’t invited to the wedding and you don’t feel comfortable going then just politely decline.
Post # 7
Do you think they already know they will not be invited to the wedding? There’s a big difference between throwing you a shower, thinking they will be invited to the wedding vs. throwing you a shower because they know they will NOT be invited to the wedding, and they want to get to know you.
Post # 8
Just take this as a opportunity to meet everyone that you might not have the chance to otherwise. Just be the classiest you you can be and dont do anything you arent comfertalbe doing. Don’t give them a reason to dislike you. Also, I would make sure they know they are not coming to the wedding.
I agree with PP that said to bring along a few of your family members.
Post # 9
Yeah I am curious to know if they already are aware they arent invited?
Post # 10
No, these people do not know they won’t be invited. I’m not sure how to tell them since I’ve never met them… should Fiance or FI’s family do this now since my family is pretty sure there will be no space?
How/who should I take to the shower if it’s still on?
I really don’t know to not to offend anyone yet still be classy about it ! :/
Post # 11
Ditto to what squeak35 said!
Post # 12
Let them know its going to be a small intimate wedding and you won’t be able to invite everyone, so you would feel uncomfortable for them to throw a shower for you, but you can’t wait to meet them some other time.
My Mom said the same thing to my extended family when they wanted to throw a shower for me but we weren’t able to invite them all. No ones feelings got hurt and I didnt have to feel bad about getting gifts from people who we werent able to invite to the wedding.