Post # 1
I’m just feel like venting…
I just found out that my Fiance overdrafted our joint account by over $200 dollars. How can he let this happen? We make more than enough money to live within our means. I guess he is not mature enough to handle our joint fiances (we have a joint account to handle rent and such). I have never, ever lived outside my means – never been late with a credit card payment, have never overdrafted my personal account,. etc. This is just ridiculous.
Guess I have to add managing this account to my list of things to do, along with doing all the planning for our wedding. The only thing he has to do is show up to the vendor appointments.
And then there is the house hunting. He doesn’t do squat with that either. I am the one online researching houses and properties and schools. Again, all he has to do is show up to meet with the realtor. And if it was up to him, he would have bought the first house we saw for $40,000 over what it was worth. He has no concept of investment and equity.
I just want to scream.
Then he has the audicity to complain about being worn out from the house hunting and vendor meetings. Lucky for him he gets lots of vacation days so he gets the day off tomorrow. Yeah…I most certainly have to go to work tomorrow and deal with everything else…
(Sorry for the long rant – it is the time of the month).
Post # 3
I am like you and do most of the work in my relationship. Just think of it this way, you will get you want for the wedding and your house!!!
Post # 4
@coffeegal85: I read the title of your thread and giggled. I’m sorry. It just seems to be a common thread. I hope things “work out” which I suspect they will…because you’ll handle it all. ::hugs::
Post # 5
@coffeegal85: This happened to us with the joint accounts. He saw how much money we had combined (enough to cover bills and a few fun things, but we arent close to rich), and in his mind we could suddenly buy everything we want. It was frustrating. But we talked a lot and I had a few meltdowns, and I now handle all the finances. Part of the problem is that I am a control freak, I admit that. But I am like you in that Im very careful with my money-pay bills on time, never late with payments, etc. He just doesnt always realize the importance of being financially responsible.
Post # 6
I hear you! Sorry you’re so frustrated. I wish I had good advice, but I think taking over the management of the finances is your best option, even though it means more work for you.
I handle our finances. We don’t have a joint account, but Fiance gives me money every month and I take care of household expenses and all our savings is under my name. It’s funny, because Fiance owns a business and he’s really great at creating budgets and estimating costs (for our wedding, home renos… etc) But when it comes to actually managing the money – he’s terrible!! So I’m in charge 🙂
Post # 7
He’s in his late 20s…he’s done every fiancially irresponsible thing I could think off – buy an expensive sports car right out of college (which he finally sold last year to purchase my ring), travelled cross country to Cali every few weeks to be with his LDR girlfriend at the time, over-buy to the point where he was 1,000s of dollars in credit card debt (which he has finally paid off). Ugh! Is he ever going to grow up and be the strong, fiancally responsible man that I am looking for, lol?
Post # 8
@coffeegal85: I am sorry that this is so frustrating. When I read this post I recalled to mind the post you wrote about your fi having dinner with ex in Chicago. When you add that whole issue of trust and fidelity with financial irresponsiblity, that is very scary indeed. I would not feel good about being in your position either. Are you 100% positive this is what you want?
Post # 9
Even if we get married, I don’t see us ever joining accouts. It might be because I like being able to buy what I want without him seeing his birthday gift pop up on the display. That and he had a bad habit of overdrawing things in the past and I really hate those extra fees for bad personal bookkeeping.
Also, I’m OC about checking and double checking what’s been spent, what’s cleared and how much I have left each month – I’ve lived paycheck to paycheck so long it’s just an ingrained habit. He checks his account maybe twice a month, and is able to be surprised when he has either more or less moneny than he’d thought. I’m like, “How can you be surprised? Don’t you check it? Don’t you keep track in your head or on paper?”
That said, he HAS gotten way better over the year about being more responsbile – still less attention is paid to things than I like, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say he was way better. Your Boyfriend or Best Friend might improve, or you might just have to play Money Gestapo with him, OR you could try (if you’re comfortable with this) dumping it all on him for one month and see how bad it oculd be.