Post # 1
My Fiance and I have been together 5 years and are just now getting engaged and planning our wedding. Thru those years I have lost a lot of my female friends because they were single and I was a mom/full time gf. Now we are down to picking out our BM’s and I am seriously worried I made a mistake. Since I have a serious lack of friends I asked people I rarely talk to (their boyfriends are GM) and I am finding quickly they are less than intersted in wedding things, despite acting excited about being in the wedding. DO i need to include my bridesmaids in things, or am I just asking too much? So far I’ve only asked the 2 older bm (my age) to go look for a dress with me, and possibly be on board to make our own flowers. Bridezilla already?
Post # 3
@mamastephi: I’m not having bridesmaids. I really only have about 3 GOOD female friends (that I’ve known for 10+ years). I didn’t really want a lot of people IN my wedding. I’d rather have them in the audience watching me if that makes sense. Plus I want to save money. I’m having a maid of honor to help witness and have my ring ready and Fiance is having a best man for the same reasons. Another reason is because our wedding is going to be quick and small. About 50 people.
Post # 4
@mamastephi: And no you’re not being bridezilla 🙂 I actually read your post wrong btw so sorry about that. I thought you asked if it was okay NOT to have BM’s lol. I see that you already have some! I would say that you didn’t really need to do things with them… I’m the type that gets everything done on my own and my way and I like it that way haha. And if not all of them want to do things then you can make due with the two you have 🙂 or keep trying to get the others interested?
Post # 5
I have 3 girls in my party, one of which is my teenage daughter, and two guys. I’ve only been dress shopping once, and I went with my boss! Really, she’s kind of awesome and has volunteered to help me with my wedding plans and will be my day of go to point person. Sometimes, it doesn’t have to be the bm’s that go with you on your wedding planning jaunts.
Post # 6
It’s totally up to the bride. My good friend got married last year and she had the bridemaids come along wedding dress shopping every time, searching for venues, cake tasting, vendor meetings, pretty much every wedding related thing. I have only asked my bridesmairds to come dress shopping with me once, and everythign else i have done alone or with my fiance. I feel like sometimes opinions are a hindrance rather than a help and it’s stuff we ultimately need to decide anyway so easier for us to just do it by ourselves. They can be involved as much or as little as you want them to – and hey maybe it will be a chance for you to all get a little closer =)
Post # 7
@mamastephi: You are not being a bridezilla by simply asking them to participate. I only have my Maid/Matron of Honor who lives across the country from me, so I don’t even have the luxury of asking, heh. If they seem excited to go dess shopping and want to do the flowers, then that’s great! If you don’t necessarily want them to do stuff, do not feel obligated to ask them. If they’re not excited about it, that’s fine and not a requirement at all.
Post # 8
it’s sad that they don’t want to partake. I think it will be more of a hassle for you if you ask them and they feel obligated to. The atmosphere isn’t going to be fun and happy like it should be.
Ask who you know will make it a fun, memorable(in a good way), day. If that means the bm’s aren’t there then unfortunately for everyone involved they’re not there.
Post # 9
I thought I was being a bridezilla by asking some of my BM’s to participate in events, but I got over that real fast. I realized that as long as an invitaiton was extended and I said that I would enjoy it if they were there, the rest is up to them. I can’t really force them to do anything they don’t want to do.