- 4 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014 - The Cove Lakeside Resort
I’m getting so upset with my family, I feel they are making my day less special!
I appologize this is a big rant!… it might be a bit disorganized ….
It all started because my fiance and I decided that we couldn’t invite my sisters boyfriend to our wedding for personal reasons. He used to be best friends with my fiance then when he started dating my sister a bunch of crappy stuff happened and they had a falling out (i haven’t liked him for a long time because of things he had called me along time ago), ever since the falling outwe have made it clear that we dont like him, or like being around him but we were polite to him when he was over for family events. In the past few years he’s been caught up in really shady things (got a life long ban from a national kids club, and another seperate incident he got charged with a few counts of “unlawful contact with a minor”, and pleaded guilty to avoid jail time…. but the claim he is innocent in both situations ) Anyways…. we dont enjoy being around him, and we decided we dont want him at our wedding, then my sister decided she didn’t want to come if we weren’t inviting her boyfriend, but we made it clear that she is still invited and we have made no indication that she wouldn’t be welcome to come.
Well then the shit hit the fan, I live in another town 2.5 hours away from my parents so when my fiance and I went home to see them for easter we had a big talk with my parents….. before we even went out there my dad kept saying he wanted to have a respectful mature conversation (indicating that I wouldn’t be able to have one). Well within the first 5 minutes of the conversation my MOM was yelling and screaming at us and stormed out of the room, we were just trying to explain or side of the story so they would understand, but no they wouldn’t listen, they pretty much said they didn’t care about our feelings but that we should invite the boyfriend because it hurts my sisters feelings. My mom also pretty much said I am ruining the family, and that if we dont invite the boyfriend ( who i should mention they dont really like either but they keep defending him) that she will not be in the family photos or might not come. Anyway after my mom left I thought we could have a good conversation with my dad, I was wrong, he wasn’t interested in hearing our side, he said some hurtfull things too and eventually I excused myself and went to bed.
At the end of the weekend my brother texted me and asked us to stop by his house on the way home, I knew this wasn’t going to be good…. and I was right. He only wanted us to come over so he can threaten us, and tell us more about how horrible we are and how him and his wife aren’t going to come to the wedding if my sister isn’t there. He took it upon him self to speak for the family, and be judgmental and hipocritical of us for not inviting the boyfriend, when he didn’t invite our uncle to his wedding because he is gay. He also said my sister told everyone that I conered her at work and forced her to talk about wedding stuff, which I DID NOT do, we both work in the same builing and we passes each otherinthe hall.. I was leaving work and she was coming back from a break, and we chatted, and I just briefly mentioned that if she was coming home when I was going that we are going dress shopping and she would be welcome to join…I just wanted to let her know she is welcome to participate in wedding stuff… so at this point I pretty much wanted to tell him to shove it where the doesn’t shine… who does he think he is?
So we get home and I’m really upset by what everyone has said, so I told my parents how I felt, and they said, that they didn’t care but that their feeling matter more, and that our wedding day is not about us its about them and the family. Aftee this my dad was texting me about mundane things and I couldn’t stand it, so I asked him to stop texting and not to call, that I needed some time and that I would contact them when I was ready. Its been almost a month and a half since then, and I’ve continued with the wedding planning without them and bought my dress without my mom too, but now I finally started to casually talk to them, but avoiding the supject of weddings.
Then another bomb was dropped on me…. my sister got engaged two days ago… and I don’t know how to feel. I feel that now no one will care about my wedding anymore, and i’m sure she will set her date to be before mine…. and i’m jealous, she is going to be able to have that mother daughter planning experience that I’m not going to have….I’m trying to remind myself that my family doesn’t matter on our wedding day, and that no matter what happens my fiance and I are getting married and as long as we are happy it will be great….I just dont understand why my family can’t be happy for us and see it was my sisters choice to not come.
I should say too that my fiance’s family has been great, his mom is really helping me with the planning, and so has my fiance! They are all great people and I’m so happy to be joining their family.
Also, I know there will be people on here who don’t agree with what we have done, I understand…. but having this guy at our wedding would make us miserable, and we can’t let my family threaten us to get their way, to make them happy on our wedding day.
Thanks to anyone who reads this…..