(Closed) I feel like my family is always taking the spotlight from our special day! :(

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 17
Member
1357 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Um, are there going to be children at your wedding? That’s the only reason you need to exclude this guy, all personal offenses aside.

I think this is a good time to bond with your future in-laws. Do you have a good relationship with your MIL? Could you do some of that mother-daughter stuff with her?

Post # 18
Member
471 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m going to go ahead and be the dissenter here and say that your sister and her boyfriend are engaged and that yes, you do need to invite him.  I don’t blame your family for taking her side, you are the one in the wrong.  We can’t choose who our siblings and other relatives marry, and that means that sometimes we will have to deal with people that we really dislike.  But you need to do it.

As for the pedophile thing, it seems to me like he fooled around with an underage girl. Child molesters don’t get off with unlawful contact with a minor and no prison time.

Post # 19
Member
1348 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Honestly, one thing that annoys me about weddings is when people say it’s not about you and the groom, it’s about the family. I completely disagree. It’s your party and you can cry if you want to hunny! That might be a bridezilla-ish comment, but if you feel uncomfortable around this man, that is your and your fiances choice. I think avoiding drama at your wedding is a good thing! I would just put on your smiley face around your family and tell them, “I’m sorry you feel bad over this, this is a decision that we have made with the interest of all of our wedding guests in mind. I do apologize if it hurts you, but I would love for you to show up. I do love you” Leave it at that! I know it’s hard… weddings are SOOO stressful, I definitely have my own issues with my family… I’m sorry you’re going through this. Try and focus on the positive! 

Post # 20
Member
1464 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@shopaholic85:  I am so sorry that your family has treated you that way. It is too bad that you can’t all sit down and have a calm conversation about it. I am sorry that they are not respecting your wishes. So glad though that Fiance is so supportive!

Post # 21
Member
262 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

You totally did the right thing by not inviting him. I probably wouldn’t even be on speaking terms with him to be honest.

It is awesome that you are sticking up for yourself. Your hypocritical family tried to gang up and teach you a lesson, but you ended up teaching THEM one. I definitely understand being sad right now, but in the long run you are going to be so happy you stood your ground.

Post # 22
Member
45 posts
Newbee

@shopaholic85: From the description you give of this guy, I can understand why you don’t like him. However, just like a PP said, your sister is now engaged to this man. Imagine if you were her and she was refusing to invite your fiance for whatever reason. This man is going to be your sister’s husband and as much as you don’t like it, I think in this case it would be good to invite him just to avoid all the drama and damaging relationships.

If you really don’t care that you’re family won’t be at you’re wedding and aren’t concerned about the long term effects that could have on your relationship with them, then you can stick to your guns. Otherwise, it might be worthwhile to reconsider.

The topic ‘I feel like my family is always taking the spotlight from our special day! :(’ is closed to new replies.

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