(Closed) I feel like my fmil bought a costume to wear to our ceremony…

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Are the invites out yet?

Make sure she knows is formal attire or whatever you want to call it (lenguage barried I don’t have more words to decribe it). You can also let her know what your mom or aunts ate wearing to let her know she’s a bit out of line, she’s the groom’s mother, she should be fabulous.

Post # 4
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

According to FH (who was born and raised in Honolulu), muumuus are considered acceptable wedding attire in Hawaii. It’s not necessarily as “tacky tourist” as you think, and it certainly doesn’t make it a costume party.

But if you’d like her to wear something more formal, perhaps you should have your Fiance talk to her.

Post # 5
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Unless your reception is somewhere upscale, I would also assume a beach wedding is more casual attire.  I would wear dresses to a beach wedding that I would not think were appropriate for indoor weddings or nice dinners.  I think you need to somehow slip into the convo the level of formality you are expecting, and it might not hurt to find a way to let other guests in on this too.  Otherwise, while I doubt you would see people in jeans, I think you will see a lot of more informal attire.

Post # 6
254 posts
Helper bee

I honeymooned in Kauai, and was graciously invited to a local fundraising where we were the only folks from the “mainland” and yes, they dress like this. So hell yea they would wear that to dinner or a wedding.

Post # 7
2981 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

There is a difference between nice dress for a beach wedding and nice dress for an indoor non-beach venue, say a church or vineyard etc. It’s hard to get a really formal look when there is sand involved unless you’re uber-talented and can rock heels on the dunes. Most people are going to assume it’s less formal attire but will still come dressed nicely. Most (certainly not all) brides and grooms I see that get married on the beach even show examples of this with their attire. My DH’s best friend got married on the beach barefoot in white pants and a blue button down shirt and looked stunning. If you’re pushing for a more formal look, have your Fiance talk to her and mention it in the invites, but just be forewarned that people may have a hard time dressing super formally and having to wear those shoes and clothes in the sand. 

Post # 9
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I know exactly how you feel. My father in law wore shorts to my formal 6:30 wedding. I was upset but you just have to move on with life. He even asked me if I was okay with shorts and I said no. In the end she will look like a fool. You can’t be mad about it. You may want to email her a picture of the dress your mom is wearing or say something like oh i was so hoping and looking forward to going shopping with you 


Post # 10
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

My Step Mother wore capris!! It was crazy. everyone was all decked out but her. ridiculous..my dad was in a tux and she was wearing capris…white ones at that!!!! Sorry you are going through this!

Post # 13
229 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Sometimes I feel that FMILs can do that to distract from the bride marrying her son. She wants attention too…Ive seen it before. I went to a wedding where the Mother-In-Law wore a lace ivory gown… and so did the bride of course. Just wrong is what it is

Post # 14
3638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Have your Fiance gently suggest that she will look underdressed and out of place. If she really wants to wear it in the end, she ‘s the one who will look foolish. 

Post # 15
781 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

your Future Mother-In-Law sure have a sense of humor! lol.  good thing she told you instead of waiting till the day of the wedding!

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