Post # 1
We are having a wedding on the beach in Hawaii. So my fmil emails me today a link to the dress she bought to wear to our ceremony. Its a straight up white and pink hawaiian mumu dress! (Not super baggy but you get the idea) i know its rude to tell people what they can wear to your wedding but isnt there a certain level of respect that people need to consider for wedding attire? I just want to ask her “would you wear this dress out to dinner? would you wear it to another wedding?” no, no she would not. Its totally ‘tourist in hawaii” and I feel like its a costume and like people are not taking our wedding seroiusly. If we were getting married in Mexico should she come in a sombraro riding a donkey? I think its rude, its a wedding in Hawaii but its still important that its a wedding. I dont want to say anything cuz I dont want to hurt her feelings but I dont want people getting the idea its okay to turn my wedding into a costume party.
Post # 3
Are the invites out yet?
Make sure she knows is formal attire or whatever you want to call it (lenguage barried I don’t have more words to decribe it). You can also let her know what your mom or aunts ate wearing to let her know she’s a bit out of line, she’s the groom’s mother, she should be fabulous.
Post # 4
According to FH (who was born and raised in Honolulu), muumuus are considered acceptable wedding attire in Hawaii. It’s not necessarily as “tacky tourist” as you think, and it certainly doesn’t make it a costume party.
But if you’d like her to wear something more formal, perhaps you should have your Fiance talk to her.
Post # 5
Unless your reception is somewhere upscale, I would also assume a beach wedding is more casual attire. I would wear dresses to a beach wedding that I would not think were appropriate for indoor weddings or nice dinners. I think you need to somehow slip into the convo the level of formality you are expecting, and it might not hurt to find a way to let other guests in on this too. Otherwise, while I doubt you would see people in jeans, I think you will see a lot of more informal attire.
Post # 6
I honeymooned in Kauai, and was graciously invited to a local fundraising where we were the only folks from the “mainland” and yes, they dress like this. So hell yea they would wear that to dinner or a wedding.
Post # 7
There is a difference between nice dress for a beach wedding and nice dress for an indoor non-beach venue, say a church or vineyard etc. It’s hard to get a really formal look when there is sand involved unless you’re uber-talented and can rock heels on the dunes. Most people are going to assume it’s less formal attire but will still come dressed nicely. Most (certainly not all) brides and grooms I see that get married on the beach even show examples of this with their attire. My DH’s best friend got married on the beach barefoot in white pants and a blue button down shirt and looked stunning. If you’re pushing for a more formal look, have your Fiance talk to her and mention it in the invites, but just be forewarned that people may have a hard time dressing super formally and having to wear those shoes and clothes in the sand.
Post # 8
dont get me wrong, I am in no way insinuating formal. I am not wearing heels and I dont expect others to wear heels. But a bright crazy loud hawaiian print? Its nice if other cultures wear other types of clothes, but its not what we wear….not for everyday, not for going out, not for weddings, so for us it’s a costume. I dont want everyone thinking its okay to show up in crazy loud hawaiian shirts and plastic leis. Its not hard to find a “nice” knee length sleeveles dress to wear to a beach wedding that would look good with barefeet or flipflops…
Post # 9
I know exactly how you feel. My father in law wore shorts to my formal 6:30 wedding. I was upset but you just have to move on with life. He even asked me if I was okay with shorts and I said no. In the end she will look like a fool. You can’t be mad about it. You may want to email her a picture of the dress your mom is wearing or say something like oh i was so hoping and looking forward to going shopping with you
Post # 10
My Step Mother wore capris!! It was crazy. everyone was all decked out but her. ridiculous..my dad was in a tux and she was wearing capris…white ones at that!!!! Sorry you are going through this!
Post # 11
It’s Hawaii, and it is a beach wedding. If you want more formal attire have a more formal wedding on the mainland where that is more the norm.
Here ya go… I think this is pretty good… http://www.cheap-wedding-solutions.com/what-to-wear-at-a-hawaiian-wedding.html
Post # 12
@clover32512: I realize its in Hawaii but it doesnt take away from the fact that it’s still a wedding. Having a wedding somewhere other then where you live doesnt make it an automatic free-for-all to become a costume party.
And update to everyone : Turns out she was pranking me! She knew it wasn’t appropriate wedding attire (ahem beach or not) she was playing a joke. ::::relieved:::::
Post # 13
Sometimes I feel that FMILs can do that to distract from the bride marrying her son. She wants attention too…Ive seen it before. I went to a wedding where the Mother-In-Law wore a lace ivory gown… and so did the bride of course. Just wrong is what it is
Post # 14
Have your Fiance gently suggest that she will look underdressed and out of place. If she really wants to wear it in the end, she ‘s the one who will look foolish.
Post # 15
your Future Mother-In-Law sure have a sense of humor! lol. good thing she told you instead of waiting till the day of the wedding!