- 8 years ago
- Wedding: May 2010
I’ll try not to bore.. but ya’ll I just dont know what to do and my emotions are everywhere.
My husband and I were married in May. He’s from England, I’m American, we currently live in our own countries and plan to file immigration papers after i meet with my lawyer about some other legal issues to see where it would be in our best interest to live.
I had a legal situation come up 10 days before the wedding that has made us have to wait to be together. Because we couldnt move in together immediately after the wedding I went to stay in England from May – October so that we wouldn’t have to be apart. I had to come home under the current visa laws and whatnot.
My husband decided to move here because of my legal issue and stated that he wanted to spend Christmas in England with his friends because he was moving here. That was fine until my legal issue became more complicated and now I may not be able to visit England for Christmas. I mentioned this to him and he basically acted like he is staying there for Christmas and thats all there is to it. He isn’t going to come here because I cant go there. By the time I can figure out if my legal problem is in fact an issue (December 6th) we probably wont be able to afford to buy me a ticket if I can in fact go to England because the ticket prices are expected to increase.
During my last visit to England my husband became very down and upset because his parents decided to up and move, split up due to infedility, and he jost his job as the family business is being sold. It was at this time that he would always act different in front of his friends, happy and putting on a front and sad and distant at home. I eventually mentioned this but never spent any time with his friends and him afterwards as it was the middle of October when all of this happened. I am hesitant to spend time with him and his friends again – because it is so uncomfortable (or was) with his rollercoaster of emotions. I am also hurt that he feels like spending Christmas with his friends is more important then his new wife. He had to move about four hours away from them after I left but still sees them frequently. Also, we don’t spend any other holidays together, never his birthday, valentines day, our anniversary but we do usually get to spend Christmas and my birthday together because of the dates they fall on.
He says that its important that I am there for Christmas and that we will do everything we can to make sure it happens – that it is important for us to be together but honestly I feel as if he isnt being honest. If it was that important then he could easily come here and we could be together. I guess I’m just upset because we had a big blow up about it. He doesnt think hes being a bad guy by wanting to stay with his friends since he is moving here but I dont think he values my company by putting them before me and that I will even get quality time with him if he wants to spend all this time with his friends. I feel as if I’m not his top priority and that he is always mine. After the blow up he mentioned coming here after Christmas which was once mentioned a while ago .. which would be nice. Honestly I just want to see him but my feelings are still hurt. So I’m wondering if I’m wrong to be hurt. Am I blowing this out of proportion? Worst part is that he can’t make this better. Even if he said “ok I’ll come to the USA” it wouldnt be better because he doesnt want too.. He wants to spend Christmas with other people more than me.