Post # 1
So I chose my sister to be my maid of honor over my two best friends. My sister and I have been through a lot but were never really super close. One of my bridesmaids is super excited, looking things up for me, telling me where there is a store near me for certain things but it seems like my sister just doesn’t care about anything I say about the wedding. She lives in Cali with all my friends and family are where I live in Minnesota with my fiance and his family so it’s already hard as it is. She seemed very excited to be my maid of honor but now when we are chatting online about stuff and then I bring up wedding ideas and whatnot she’ll go silent. How should I confront her about it without being rude? or should I even confront her? :
((Sorry if this is in the wrong forum. I am new here and this is my first post.))
Post # 3
Oh dear. I know how awkward this can be. :/ I wouldn’t exactly “confront” her, though you could feel it out in discussion. I mean, some people just don’t like wedding talk. Some people don’t “get” it. Others don’t know how to deal with their own feelings…for example, if your sister is single or if she’s dating someone and wants to be engaged, things like that. It can complicate it.
Also, one thing to keep in mind — your MoH may not be the most excited one, sometimes it’s another wedding party member, but don’t even think of “demoting” her unless you want to deal with the fallout later. Just a word of advice.
Post # 4
I know exactly what you are going through. My sis is my Maid/Matron of Honor and I swear, she TRIES to block things out when it comes to my wedding. I am trying to be positive, keeping in mind that she is in an emotional place right now and me getting married while she is single upsets her. However, just try to remember that your wedding is about you and your Fiance, and maybe just focus more on your Bridesmaid or Best Man that is positive about your wedding. The fact that your sister is excited to be your Maid/Matron of Honor means that it means something to her, so I would let her keep this title. Just try not to take it personally.
Post # 5
May be you should ask her for help in certain areas. She probably doesn’t know what to do. Depending on her age she might be clueless.
Post # 6
I am literally in the exact same position. It’s really hard. I pretty much fully agree with @MissNerdy.
Post # 7
Thanks ladies! I really appertiate the advice! I’ll just keep her as my MoH and focus of one of my bridesmaids who is totally excited and being helpful. I just need to focus on the positive. I really appreciate the help. I love this site, I have a feeling I’ll be on it for a while! =)
Post # 8
@Melipop: the exact same thing is happening to me with my sister! She even went so far as to ignore our family for an entire week because I asked her to set aside a few hours on a sunday afternoon to go bridesmaids dress shopping. I’ve never had a close relationship with her and was hoping that my wedding would give us a chance to get close, but it’s honestly getting worse.
My best advice would be to enjoy planning with your other bridesmaids. Thats what I’m doing. Its unfortunate I can’t enjoy this with my sister, but at least you and I both have other bridesmaids who are just as excited as we are to talk wedding stuff!
Post # 9
Yeah my Maid/Matron of Honor is kind of like that. My one Bridesmaid or Best Man has been super helpful and excited for me, while my Maid/Matron of Honor, while she seemed excited at first, hasn’t seemed very excited and hasn’t been very helpful for the entire process.
My wedding is less than 2 weeks away, and I’ve gotten over it. I never brought it up with her. You can’t make someone care. At least I have the Bridesmaid or Best Man who has cared a lot. I discreetly gave the Bridesmaid or Best Man who helped a lot an extra gift because she was just above and beyond amazing, while my Maid/Matron of Honor is getting the same present all the BMs are getting. It’s not out of spite, I just think the Bridesmaid or Best Man deserves to be recognized for all the effort she put in for me.