(Closed) I feel like my maid of honor is trying to copy me?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
700 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

This is gonna sound harsh but you both sound super immature. 

If she was really a good friend she would allow more time between your spotlight and hers. And if you were her friend, and she’s getting married you should be happy for her, it’s her businesss it’s really not yours. 

Immitation is the best form of flattery. 

If she really annoys you that much ignore her actions. 

Post # 3
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2018 - Historic Mansion

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. 

I know it bothers you, but let her live her life and you live yours.

 

Post # 4
Member
918 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable, but if she’s a good friend otherwise, you’ll have to let it go. My best friend got engaged three days after me (her fiancé had had the ring for over 3 years, so it was not a coincidence!) and was pushing really hard to get married before me. She also has a tendency to try to one-up me when it comes to her relationship and living situation. Ironically (and unfortunately for my friend), I know that she is actually quite insecure and miserable with many aspects of her life. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s the same thing with your friend. She obviously has some level of insecurity. But like I said, if she’s a good friend otherwise, your only real choice is to let it go. Over time she might become secure and happier and therefore back off a little bit. You also might want to have a heart-to-heart with her–not necessarily to discuss your POV, but to see how she’s feeling about her life right now. 

Post # 7
Member
700 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

View original reply
futuremrsyoung722 :  I would be frustrated too if I were in your shoes. I had a friend of similar nature and she always mirrored things I did. 

I found myself getting really upset and started to get a little obsessive about what she did. And I would text my friend “Did you see what B did? She’s copying me!” 

I couldn’t stand it anymore: I let her know I didn’t appreciate her behavior and it was bringing out the worst in me. But it didn’t really help. I backed out of that friendship because she wasn’t gonna stop and it was turning into a toxic friendship.  

You can either do two things at this point: ignore it and move on or you can try and talk to her about it. 

Post # 8
Member
361 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
futuremrsyoung722 :  I’m not sure what it matters or why you’d fight w her over her getting married. If she’s getting married on or before the day you get proposed to when the timing or person or relationship isn’t right for her, that’s her decision and what day that happens on or what it does to you (nothing?) is the least of the potential problems w that marriage. Maybe mind your own business and tell her congrats.

You have a few choices here: stop telling her everything about your proposal, jewelry, and wedding and then you’ll know she isn’t copying it or stop caring so much if/that she’s copying you.  How old are you all? It sounds a bit like hs/immature on both of your parts and I’d also stop trying to get your Fiance involved in this pettiness. I had a relative attempt to copy much of my wedding (bc it was awesome!) and I took it as a sign of flattery. Others pointed it out to me and I never discussed it or thought about it much. I’m also not sure how any of this matters when she’s still not engaged even.

Post # 9
Member
25 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2017

If you can – try to let it go and focus on your wedding. It sounds like you are in a more secure, adult relationship and if her wedding is after yours (which it sounds like it will be if they are still not engaged) then if anyone notices similarities, they will know it is her copying and not you.

 

if it was me, I would try to keep details of the wedding which I wanted a secret/surprise until she has to know which may stop her immediate ‘Im going to do that too’ reaction

Post # 11
Member
322 posts
Helper bee

I had a friend who was like that my whole life. Piercings, horseback lessons, clothes- I mean she even bought the same size as me even though I was 2 sizes larger than her growing up and the clothes look ridiculous on her. She just really looked up to me and wanted to do everything I did. She ended up getting married first, but I guarantee you she would have copied everything I did if she hadn’t. Who cares? I’m still friends with her today, 25 years later. 

Your friend DOES seem like she needs a little help with her self confidence though.

Post # 12
Member
361 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
futuremrsyoung722 :  how is it ongoing? You’re getting married in 6mos and you don’t think that she’ll be engaged any time soon. She can’t copy you if she isn’t even getting married. Problem solved. 

Post # 14
Member
827 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I’m not reading anything too Single White Female here. Falling in love, getting engaged and getting married aren’t exactly unique things to be happening in your 20s. Rings and Dresses can look similar, they often do. 

Post # 15
Member
1251 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
futuremrsyoung722 :  

1. She’s not a true friend if she’s hell bent on one uping you all the time.

2. I don’t care what anybody says, imitation is a form of flattery up to a certain point. Than it’s annoying as shit.

3. You both seem immature to me. It’s so very petty.

-Move forward, ignore her & if you can’t then time to let go of the “friendship”

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