(Closed) I feel like such a jerk (long, sorry in advance).

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1297 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Above all, I just want my mom to know that I love her and I greatly appreciate all that she’s done for us.

I think you just need to tell her this, and just tell her you weren’t feeling well and you’re sorry if you were unpleasant, because you didn’t mean to be. I think she’ll understand.

ETA: As a month twin, I kinda understand the wedding stress factors, plus like you said, everyone’s under stress of some kind. Your behavior maybe wasn’t right, but it’s absolutely forgivable, and beating yourself up over it isn’t going to help anyone.

Post # 4
3768 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

if you want your mom to know that you’re grateful for all her help and support, go ahead and tell her!  I definitely think it’s better to get things out than to wait and worry and not know if something you said or did was taken the wrong way.  go ahead and call your mom πŸ™‚

Post # 5
5658 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think its great that you are so concerned about your moms feelings and are so grateful. So many brides are all about themselves and could probably use caring a bit more about their parents in the process.

I figure you should just say something and reiterate that it wasn’t about her and that you are sorry you weren’t pleasant. If it was me and it was bothering me this much i would continue to think about it for maybe years! Always feeling bad that i never cleared the air and made sure the person really knew I wasn’t mad at them etc… nothing wrong with reiterating your thanks and love!

Post # 6
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

Wow, it sounds like you and your mom have a really great relationship. I would definately let her know how much you appreciate all of her help and how much you have enjoyed spending so much time together. I am sure she would appreciate hearing it:)

Post # 7
343 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Wow your mom sounds so awesome. I agree with PP that you need to tell her this as well how much you appreciate her. Also if you are not paying for the reception and she wants to invite people she should be able to if not then tell her that you and your fiance will pay for the reception and then that way you can definitely call all the shots there.

Post # 8
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

You and your mom sound like really generous, kind, and loving people :). 

Maybe you could do something a little special for your mom to show you how much you appreciate her? My parents have helped out a LOT (in terms of logistics and checkng out venues) so I got them a little gift card to go out to a nearby restaurant. They were so touched and grateful… it was sweet. 

Maybe taking your mom out for a coffee or treating the two of you to get your nails done together would be a sweet way of showing her how much you appreciate her πŸ™‚

Post # 9
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Take your mom out to a nice dinner.. or movie/dinner… a fun girls night for the two of you and tell her exactly what you’ve said… that you appreciate her and recognize the efforts and were silly to be stressed over nothing etc etc…. I’m sure she’d appreciate that:)

Post # 10
4 posts
  • Wedding: May 2012

@keepsmiling19:  Send her a HUGE bunch of flowers and tell her how wonderful she is! πŸ™‚

Post # 11
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Can I just say that this is the greatest emotional post ever. You recognized what you did wrong and you want to make it better. You could have been 100% worse. I just wanted to let you know that you are wonderful.

Post # 12
775 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I was just going to suggest flowers! πŸ™‚  Doesn’t sound like your mom is going to hold a grudge, but I’m sure it would be nice to know that she’s appreciated. 

Sounds like you’ve both got things in perspectiev and really do love and respect each other.  What a great relationship!

Post # 13
1468 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

yes call her and tell her how much you appriciate her!!  Also if she is paying for the wedding what is wrong with her having some extra frinds of hers there?  She wants to show you off on your wedding day!! whats wrong with that?

Post # 14
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Well, first of all, please don’t beat yourself up…we all make mistakes πŸ™‚ I totally know how this feels.

If I were you, I’d offer to take my mom out to lunch and tell her exactly what you have said here. I’m sure she’ll understand that you appreciate her and you didn’t mean to sound crabby. 

Post # 15
2783 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

You don’t sounds like a huge jerk. At all. It sounds like you were just having an off day, and feeling the stress that every single bride feels. I understand what you’re saying about having so many people it gets overwhelming, so if it’s still bugging you just say “Mom, I really love you, and I appreciate what you’re doing so much, but can we maybe set a limit on how many extra people we’re going to invite? I don’t want it to get overwhelming, and I know you’re spending so much already, I’m nervous it might get out of hand on your end too”.

Your mom sounds wonderful, and it sounds like you two have a really great relationship. I love the idea of sending her flowers with a sweet card just saying thanks. I think she just wants to do anything she can to make you happy πŸ™‚

Post # 16
9541 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

AW! Please do not beat yourself up for this. Your mom will totally understand that you were just stressed an had a headache. And you weren’t even really bad, just grumpy. I think it’s so sweet that you want to be sure she understands that you love her and are happy she’s so excited about your wedding. I think it’s a great excuse to tell her how much you love her and how grateful you are not only about the money, but about the excitement and help planning, etc. I like old fashioned, snail-mail cards, because then it’s all in writing and she can save it and re-read it whenever she needs a warm thought. Or you could treat her to a nice lunch where you can relax a bit and enjoy each other’s company.  Whatever you do, you and your mom sound like great people and like you have a great relationship – so congratulations on that!

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