(Closed) I feel like such an ass *vent* :(

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

How many more people, and therefore how much money, would it be to include your family?

Post # 4
Member
8279 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting a certain feel to your wedding, but at the end of the day I think the people who share it with you are more important than the “things.”

Post # 5
Member
514 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Weetzie:  I think you should do what you want. Every wedding is going to have people that are not happy with what you picked and it’s just too bad people can’t just be happy for you. I think if that’s your vision then you should get it, you shouldn’t sacrifice because people you aren’t close to think you should invite them.

Post # 6
Member
316 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t think you’re being an ass at all. Cuts need to be made and people just need to understand this. I had to deal with the same thing and it wasn’t easy, but I believe in quality over quanity. My other excuse is that I have never heard of anyone, outside of my little sister and mother, that are actually excited to go to a wedding. So I’ve been telling myself they don’t really want to have the hassle of going to a wedding anyway. 

Post # 7
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

You’re not an ass. No one is entitled to an invite to your wedding just by virtue of being somehow related to you. I personally only invited two of my five living aunts/uncles, because I have no substantive relationship with the others. Don’t let anyone guilt trip you because you didn’t want to serve people on paper plates.

Post # 9
Member
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Do you really want all your aunts and uncles there? I feel like the answer is no, since you didn’t find a way to make sure they were invited. That is okay. You should be able to share the day with the people most important to you. 

However, when it comes to family, if they are close, be careful about the way you say things so you don’t cause family rifts. 

Good luck!

Post # 11
Member
604 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Weetzie:  I do understand where you are coming from…but at the end of the day family is worth way more than fancy plates or decorations…I think THAT realization comes with age though…I have been around the block a couple of times;)

Post # 12
Member
4687 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

Family gets really bent out of shape about things like that. I totally get what you’re saying about keeping numbers low to maintain a certain feel. You can’t please everyone.

Sigh. I wish people wouldn’t take it so personally but they do. If you can squeeze them in, great … if not, they will get over it (hopefully)!

Post # 13
Member
741 posts
Busy bee

@Weetzie:  If relatives you are not close, and they get offended that you could only have the wedding you wanted by budgeting this way, then I would say they are the selfish ones.

Do your thing. It’s not a family reunion. Don’t feel guilty for thinking about you and what you want on this special day that celebrates you and your partner. It’s not just “things”, it’s an experience.

Post # 14
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Weetzie: If you aren’t close to these people, they shouldn’t be at your wedding. I don’t care who ya are. Family, friend, co-worker.

Have the wedding you invisioned with your original, small guest list!

Post # 15
Member
2554 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

you didn’t invite them for a reason, so no, don’t feel like an ass.

 

family doesn’t trump friends. closeness trumps anything else.

Post # 16
Member
3720 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Weetzie:  We went through this too. I respect your decision, but we did not make it. We could not imagine seeing our aunts and uncles every year knowing we chose steak over having them there. We are having a wedding that is twices as big as I want because I want to have a great relationship with our family. You chose an amazing wedding, which is fine. But own your choice– you chose X over Y. You have to explain that you your aunt and uncles. There isn’t a right or wrong way, but own your decision.

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