(Closed) I feel like the biggest jerk! What should I do?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011 - Mackinaw Valley Vineyard; Bloomington Center for the Performing Arts

That really sucks, but honestly, I think you’ve done everything you can do. You apologized, explained the situation, and offered to make it up to him. He was probably hurt at the time, but if he really wanted something more than this he would/should have said something.

If I were in your position, I would probably return the vases with a card again apologizing and maybe include a small gift as a thank you for letting you use the vases. I think a gift card to a nice restaurant would be a nice gesture (and if you think he’d laugh at it, you could add a note that it’s to make up for not getting to eat at the reception).

Don’t be too hard on yourself! People understand that mistakes happen!

Post # 4
4824 posts
Honey bee

i would feel the same, but I think you have done what you can.

Maybe follow it up with an invite to dinner would be a nice gesture that is personal.


Post # 5
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I love mspony’s idea. I pretty much second her entire post.

Post # 6
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Do not punish yourself anymore. Mistakes do happen. I like the restaurant gift card idea or maybe take them out to eat. Telling him how bad you feel and insisting on doing this to make ammends at the date of his choice might reassure them you enjoy their company and it was an honest mistake.

Post # 7
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

I think you did your best. I had two people that I totally forgot to make seating cards for/forgot to assign them to a table, even though I KNOW I got their RSVP and I even remembered what they ordered! But they handled it the normal way–they told someone, and room was made for them at a table with their friends (where I would have intended for them to sit, except that since I forgot them making the seating chart they were at the only 12-person table (the tables were made for 8-10 people, oops!)). I saw them at the wedding, said, “I’m so sorry I forgot to make your cards!” and they said no problem, the end.

It’s weird that they left, to be honest.

Post # 8
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

ditto on loving mspony’s idea – love the idea of a GC to a nice restaurant!  brilliant!!

Post # 9
4162 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Ahh, I would have felt terrible too.  I agree with the gift card for a restaurant for him and his wife. 

He probably felt awkward that he was forgotten, so I don’t think it’s that weird he left.  He probably didn’t feel comfortable enough to tell someone about it.

Post # 10
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Wow thats a tough situation. personally I think emailing him isnt enough and a gift card by itself just feels odd. I would have called him or gone to see him and talk to him and then invite him out for dinner at a restaurant or dinner in your home kinda like a double date. that would see more personal and heartfelt

Post # 12
4371 posts
Honey bee

I think you should invite him and his spouse out to dinner with you and your new husband.

Post # 13
3364 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I’d take him a nice THANK YOU GIFT! =) Complete mistake! Just show your sincerity!

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