Post # 1
So I got married on April 30th and it was amazing. Everything went as planned and I couldn’t believe when NOTHING went wrong. (well besides for my balloons deflating at my candy buffet..still a little bitter about it). So we went away for a week on our honeymoon and had a fantastic time. The month before our wedding, I unexpectedly got a great job offer and switched jobs. Everyone from my old office was invited to the wedding. It is a really small office of about 15 people and everyone is pretty close. Anyway, most people declined since I switched jobs and that is fine. 4 people RSVP’d yes and that they were bringing their spouse.
Anyway…fast forward to the week before our wedding. I got terribly terribly sick (never been sicker) and didn’t leave our bed until 2 days before the wedding. In those 2 days, I had to scramble to finish last minute projects, one which was the seating chart.
To make a long story short, I just found out (2 weeks later) that I forgot one of my old coworkers on the chart…he showed up with his wife (30 minute drive from their house), didn’t see his name on the chart, and left. I feel soooo terrible. And I thought nothing had gone wrong! I wish I would have known, we had an extra table set up and plenty of food since it was a buffet! Not to mention we had 10 no shows! 🙁
Anyway Hive, what should I do?? I have already emailed him and apologized profusely and asked him what I can do to make it up to him. He told me not to worry about it, that I had a lot on my mind. Still, I can’t believe that happened! Should I do anything else? He had previously let me borrow 90 centerpiece vases from his daughter’s wedding last fall & now I have to go return them to him awkwardly and feel like the biggest jerk ever 🙁
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2011 - Mackinaw Valley Vineyard; Bloomington Center for the Performing Arts
That really sucks, but honestly, I think you’ve done everything you can do. You apologized, explained the situation, and offered to make it up to him. He was probably hurt at the time, but if he really wanted something more than this he would/should have said something.
If I were in your position, I would probably return the vases with a card again apologizing and maybe include a small gift as a thank you for letting you use the vases. I think a gift card to a nice restaurant would be a nice gesture (and if you think he’d laugh at it, you could add a note that it’s to make up for not getting to eat at the reception).
Don’t be too hard on yourself! People understand that mistakes happen!
Post # 4
i would feel the same, but I think you have done what you can.
Maybe follow it up with an invite to dinner would be a nice gesture that is personal.
Post # 5
I love mspony’s idea. I pretty much second her entire post.
Post # 6
Do not punish yourself anymore. Mistakes do happen. I like the restaurant gift card idea or maybe take them out to eat. Telling him how bad you feel and insisting on doing this to make ammends at the date of his choice might reassure them you enjoy their company and it was an honest mistake.
Post # 7
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
I think you did your best. I had two people that I totally forgot to make seating cards for/forgot to assign them to a table, even though I KNOW I got their RSVP and I even remembered what they ordered! But they handled it the normal way–they told someone, and room was made for them at a table with their friends (where I would have intended for them to sit, except that since I forgot them making the seating chart they were at the only 12-person table (the tables were made for 8-10 people, oops!)). I saw them at the wedding, said, “I’m so sorry I forgot to make your cards!” and they said no problem, the end.
It’s weird that they left, to be honest.
Post # 8
ditto on loving mspony’s idea – love the idea of a GC to a nice restaurant! brilliant!!
Post # 9
Ahh, I would have felt terrible too. I agree with the gift card for a restaurant for him and his wife.
He probably felt awkward that he was forgotten, so I don’t think it’s that weird he left. He probably didn’t feel comfortable enough to tell someone about it.
Post # 10
Wow thats a tough situation. personally I think emailing him isnt enough and a gift card by itself just feels odd. I would have called him or gone to see him and talk to him and then invite him out for dinner at a restaurant or dinner in your home kinda like a double date. that would see more personal and heartfelt
Post # 11
thank you everyone for your advice! I think when I return the vases soon, I will include a card a gift card (for both the use of the vases and as an apology). He and his wife are much older – in their late 50s – and we aren’t THAT close to invite them over for dinner without making it more awkward, so I think that’s what I’ll do. You’re right – mistakes do happen. Thanks for helping out once again hive!
ps..i also thought it was just a LITTLE weird that they just left because the old coworker who told me about all this said that he saw them at their table, but didn’t go over to them; just left. Oh well, i suppose he did feel uncomfortable about the situation.
Post # 12
I think you should invite him and his spouse out to dinner with you and your new husband.
Post # 13
I’d take him a nice THANK YOU GIFT! =) Complete mistake! Just show your sincerity!