I feel really silly but…. (mother-in-law rant)

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
1182 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2018 - Fremont, CA

You are entitled to your feelings. Just remember: life can take away the case, but it won’t ever take the memories away from you. Maybe it’s another reminder that you don’t need crutches anymore and that you do have everything that you truly need – it’s inside your heart… 🙂

Post # 3
Member
475 posts
Helper bee

It’s okay to get upset over things you have an emotional attachment to; it’s perfectly normal. You still have the DVD, though; YOUR original one. Try to focus on that and the fact that you know your Mother-In-Law meant no harm. 

Post # 4
Member
9144 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
leesahmarie :  I save sentimental things and I would probably be really upset too. I’ve recently started trying to value the memory more than the thing itself — my hand was forced when our basement flooded and the choice was either learn to value the memory or hang onto moldy water-damaged things. Best wishes, bee.

Post # 5
Member
411 posts
Helper bee

I’m sorry Bee. I know that in the scheme of life a tossed plastic case is nothing, but to you it held some hard lived memories so you have every right to feel upset. Have a good cry, enjoy the upgraded Blu-ray version and make a policy not to loan important (even if just emotionally) belongings to anyone. 

Post # 6
Member
631 posts
Busy bee

 Oh hon. I’m so sorry. It’s okay to feel sadness and loss at losing that object. But I think PP are right that the way through it is to really come to terms with the fact that it was an object. The real gift was your mother giving the experience of the movie to you. What touched you, mattered to you, was the message and concept of the story. So much so that you’ve taken a small part of it and permanently inked it onto your body.

It’s with you. It will never not be with you. Even if the tattoo were to fade somehow in a freak sci-fi movie type incident. It’s a part of you.

But it’s okay to grieve this. ((hugs))

Post # 7
Member
703 posts
Busy bee

Hon, I think this is one of those things where you’re allowed to feel bummed out for a while and throw a little pity part for yourself (self care!! movie night wrapped up in blankets while eating ice cream lol) but after a while, let it go. Hugs.

Post # 8
Member
1089 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Your feelings are valid. Look at your tattoo, it tells you your feelings are valid and yet you’ll move on and grow stronger because of it.  One day you’ll have children. One day they’re going to break the future Blue ray your SO is going to get you, or something more special.  It’s going to be sad. It’s going to suck.

But you’re going to be okay, adulting is hard but you’re getting good at it.  

Post # 9
Member
4501 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Give yourself a few hours or a day to be sad, then you need to let this one go. No-one did this in malice. 

Post # 10
Member
6666 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

I get it. I feel sentimental about weird stuff and if something got thrown away I’d be pissssssed.

Post # 11
Member
2779 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I’m so sorry! This is just awful, and I know you’re in an awkward place with not wanting to hurt your Future Mother-In-Law and knowing she didn’t do this on purpose, but also feeling the pain of losing something important to you. I think you’re handling this really well, and with a lot of maturity. Hugs to you!

I agree that it’s a good idea to not let her borrow anything in the future.

Post # 12
Member
2702 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

View original reply
leesahmarie :  Aww, I’m so sorry that happened bee. Your Mother-In-Law definitely didn’t mean to hurt you but I understand how devastating losing a sentimental item can be.

Once you have time to process, see this for what it was – a simple mistake. *hugs* 

Post # 13
Member
307 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

I would be really upset in your shoes, and I would definitely have a hard time not making a snarky comment to my Mother-In-Law, so good for you for not taking it out on her. In the long run, having a good relationship with your husband’s mother is way more meaningful than the DVD case no matter how much sentimental value it had

Post # 15
Member
503 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

The understanding tone of your posts shows how mature you are. You have done well for yourself and you should be very proud. I’m sorry about the case though; I’m pretty sentimental myself.

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