- 8 years ago
- Wedding: May 2010
I feel like my wedding is causing so many issues and that I’m selfish for trying to have it and have a good time. I’m just to the point where I want to tell everyone to screw off and run away.
I have 6 to-do lists right now. Some are office related, some are for the wedding and some are for the Baby Shower I’m throwing…a month before my wedding. I’m so overwhelmed and I’m just on the verge of tears.
I know I’m crazy for throwing this shower, but I told my friend years ago (when they first started to get pregnant) that I would throw one for them. They have been trying for years and with all the drugs and injections and what not. Then boom they are pregnant without any help. It’s a miracle baby and everybody is treating it as such so. She messaged me with the news and promptly asked if I was still throwing the shower. I said yes. I asked when she would want it… she says April 22nd. So now that’s on my list too.
My 2nd Maid of Honor (already switched once) has just informed me that she is moving to Arizona and she is leaving on the 24th. Our wedding is on the 23rd and she won’t be able to be around that weekend because they will be packing.
I don’t know what to do, I know I’m already fragile emotionally so this is probably an overreaction but I just feel like the wedding is in everybody’s way. My first Maid of Honor is moving to Arizona after the wedding too (she is now a bridesmaid) and like none of our friends from out of state/country are saying they are coming (Even though they always begged us when we got married to come) They wanted to know immediately when we made the date so they could start saving… i did that.
Maybe it’s a selfish thing but I feel like we aren’t important enough.
My mom just keeps adding on things for the weekend, which I thought would be fun but it just seems that nobody wants to do it so now I’m just at the point where I want to just call the whole thing off.
On top of all that I have so many things going on in my life. Mr. Holiday is out of work and I’m having a hard time finding him not working…attractive. It’s not that I’m falling out of love with him, but I love ambition in someone and he is just taking his sweet time, which is good for him; bad for my libido.
We have three cats and they are overwhelming me, he JUST offered to take care of them when I came home and found one of them had peed on my new down comforter last night. Everything is snowballing together and I just feel I’ve lost control and I keep thinking it’s all this damn wedding fault.
I feel like I’m losing it. I don’t know what to do. Why can’t I be happy about this wedding? I’m always happy, but this last week has been nothing but feeling like I’m in this turmoil of despair.