(Closed) I feel sick to my stomach…Am I overreacting?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

You’re having a baby with this man, correct?

I usually don’t pull the counseling card, but counseling asap before the baby arrives. No, it’s not ok for him to be browsing nude pics of his ex “because he feels like it.” I can’t imagine him keeping them for any other reason but to get off. It’s not like it’s random porn with some random girl, this is his ex, and that’s just…. sleazy.

Post # 4
Member
650 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’d be furious if I was pregnant and had legit things to worry about and my guy was looking at nude pictures of his ex.

Counseling, asap. And REAL proof that he deleted the photos.

Post # 5
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Hmm I would be beyond mad! Why would he still have pictures of his ex? ESPECIALLY naked photos?!!!! and still look at them? If maybe he had forgotten he had them and happened to find them and deleted them immediately I would be OK. But for him to still sit there and look at them thats SUPER wrong. I would question the whole relationship and probably break up with him.  Good luck. You deserve better

Post # 6
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Not okay, whatsoever. I don’t believe that he was “just looking,” either. You have every right to feel sick and I agree with KatyElle about counseling.

Post # 8
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

Oh, for crying outloud! Ask him – WHY?   Second question to ask him – Do you love ME?

Post # 9
Member
1488 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I have a hard time believing he was “just looking at them.” He was obviously looking at them for some reason or another, not just because he was bored.

I agree with seeking counseling.

Post # 10
Member
1572 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

MAJOR problems…major.

Post # 11
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Based on your single moms thread, I’d say it’s already clear you want to leave. If money/security wasn’t a factor, would you be gone already? If the answer is yes, then that is your answer.

Post # 13
Member
1815 posts
Buzzing bee

‘-He deleted them because he “felt bad” and “we had been doing much better lately”‘ UM….wut? Not ok. So if you hadn’t been ‘doing better’ he would still have had them on his phone??

My Darling Husband, at the time Boyfriend or Best Friend, had topless photos of an ex-girlfriend, who I worked with, on his phone. We had been dating about a year when I found out and I was not happy. He immediately deleted them.

The fact that your Boyfriend or Best Friend was still perusing them is weird. And then told you about it? The whole situation is just…weird.

ETA: Just saw that you’re already thinking about leaving…good luck to you!

Post # 15
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

 Agree with @AnneTossy: ! Having them on their because you were going through a rough patch is NO excuse. I actually think it makes it worse on his part. You will go through rough patches. You will fight, scream, bicker. The coming baby will bring a mountain of stress, and you should turn to each other, not to pictures of ex’s. 

total red flag.

Post # 16
Member
1761 posts
Buzzing bee

That is totally disgusting on his part. I agree with the PPs. I would leave. It will be hard, but better in the end. If you’re really determined to make it work, counseling is a good option, but in this case it might be more a sign of his personality than something you can work past. It (or something similarly disgusting) could happen again. I’m sorry this happened to you.

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