(Closed) i feel SILLY and i dont think i should?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
390 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@kunezerwa: I think it is a bit of societal pressure ala “you must have a ring to be engaged”. Not necessarily true. If you two want to get engaged do it and plan for a ring later.

However, if he doesn’t want to get engaged until he feels safe monetarily you might want to lay off the wedding planning. You don’t want to get stuck planning a wedding that may take years in the making and it will drive you crazy.

Post # 4
Member
3799 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Why not make an inspiration binder of pictures and notes that you have gathered from sites and magazines? That way you are thinking about it but not ‘planning’? Don’t feel silly – you are in love and excited! I would just wait to buy anything/book any vendors/venues before you are engaged.

Post # 5
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Hmm. You are in a tough spot. For me, I was in the waiting boat around this time last year, and I did not want to make any wedding plans because I was afraid I’d “jinx it.” But we were in a different situation – I wasn’t 100% sure he was going to ask me, even though he had already said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. God, being in the waiting stage is so awkward sometimes. I feel for you and all of the waiting bees.

I think my advice would be the same as @Ms. Polar Bear:. Lay off of the wedding planning for now, just to save your own sanity. As for when other people ask you about it (which is an insensitive thing for them to do, obviously if you had gotten engaged, they would have heard or you would probably tell them yourself without them asking!), then you can just say something like, “Not yet, but thank you for your enthusiasm for us! I will let you know when that day comes!” No need to tell them about why you’re waiting, or when you think you will be engaged in the future – that’s really none of their business.

Post # 7
Member
8 posts
Newbee

well hun i think that if the to of you are fine and comfortable with planning then have fun with it. Athough i wouldnt set anything in stone yet and it dosent seem like you have so be excited have fun in love its beautiful. your not being silly.

Post # 9
Member
8 posts
Newbee

if it makes you that mad maybe you should just hold off on the planning and do it when you think you should. but i just want to reasure you that there is nothing wrong with being excited and happy. dont let what society says is the nrom get to you. you have your own way of doing things so let that be your giude. Good luck kunszrwa. Smile

Post # 10
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

You don’t need jewelry to be engaged. Once you’ve decided to get married, you’re engaged. IMO. 🙂

Post # 12
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I planned our wedding before SO proposed.. I did it for probably a year on and off before he did. I don’t think its silly. If hes telling you he wants to marry you, etc then go for it. It’s always good to dream about what you want 🙂

Post # 13
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@jlcadm: I started planning my wedding long before the proposal too. I already had 3 optional venues and ton’s of preparation, he just had to picked :).

Post # 15
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

“Thou musteth haveth a ring or thoust are not official”

haha Just kidding! You have the right frame of mind and you are definitely not silly!

Get planning!

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