- 3 years ago
Hi, I’m new here and I’m hoping to get some advice from you ladies, as I see you’re pretty good at that.
Last year my ex-girlfriend and I broke up. We would still see each other sometimes, but we never kissed/had sex ever again. Sometimes she’d spend the night, but more as friends. Nothing ever happened.
A few months after the break up I met another girl, let’s call her A. I liked her a lot, but after 2 months of dating she made it clear she was not in love with me and she will never get to that point. So we decided to continue as friends.
A week after that, A and I end up in bed together after a night of drinking. I figured it was just a friends with benefits thing, as she was so clear earlier! But the days after she seemed a little bit interested in me and I noticed her attitude started shifting. But I wasn’t sure about her intentions. During that time I met up for a bite with the ex and spent the night, because I felt alone I guess. Again, nothing (!) happened. Just sleeping. No kissing etc. I did not tell A, since I felt like had no obligation to do so. She was clear about not being in love with me, and we did not have an agreement of any sort. We ere texting a lot though.
During the 4 weeks after that, A and I saw a lot more of each other and she admitted to have fallen in love with me. I started feeling the same and we made it exclusive.
But now, I feel sooo guilty about the sleepover, weeks before exclusivity with A. I’m freaking out and feel like a jackass-cheater??
This is mainly because A said her feelings for me started to change and grow after we had the drunk sex again. She also told me she would be very very disappointed if she found out if I had been kissing other people by that point. I did not kiss anyone, I just had that platonic sleepover. And I still feel like at that point in time, it was 100% none of her business. But I feel like cr*p, because I think she would call it quits if she knew. She keeps telling me how she likes my openness and honesty and I feel like a total jerk. I’m always open and honest with her, but not about this part (of my past).
Do you ladies have any advice? Am I really a jerk, or am I overreacting? To be clear, I would NEVER ever cheat on this girl.
Obviously, I have stopped seeing the ex.