(Closed) I feel so guilty!

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I would sit with her on the phone, since she hasn’t met up with you at all, and flat out ask her what is going on. I know you have already bought her dress, but tell I would tell her if it is too much with the baby coming to be in your wedding, then she can back out, but you still want her as a guest.

I went through something similar.  I was Maid/Matron of Honor and planned evreything for a friend’s bachelorette party and spent a lot of money on that and the wedding and had wanted her to be in my wedding.Needless to say that didn’t work out and I now have 5 awesome bridesmaids that I couldn’t imagine not having!

Is there someone else that could take her place?  I know she is a good friend, but this day is about you, you are the bride and this is your moment to shine. Any added stress to you is not good.  So i would sit and talk to her and find out why she is being so flighty. Maybe it’s hormones with the baby, who knows?  But you don’t want to be dealing with this last minute.  And do you have any other bridesmaids that could plan your party? Good luck!

P.S. I’m guessing a hen party is like a bachelorette party?  I’ve never heard it called that before and it got me curious!

 

Post # 5
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Don’t feel bad.  I would just ask her if being a bridesmaid is overwhelming for her right now. If she says yes, then you may need to ask her to step down.  If she says no the ask her why she hasn’t met up with you when you have made plans or helped to plan anything. But you need to be firm with her.  Now with her being pregnant emotions may get a little out of control so just be aware of that. And let her know that your not trying to push her out, but that the wedidng is coming up and there are things that you need help with from her. Is she your Maid of Honor?  and how many bridesmaids do you have?

Would your friends and mom be willing to help plan your hen party for you?  If you only plan on having a few people then maybe they can come up with some creative ideas so you can still go out and celebrate your last night as a single girl!

Post # 7
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Good luck and keep me posted!!  ๐Ÿ˜€ All that matters is that you have fun and have a good time!!

Post # 8
Member
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I don’t think you’re being selfish.  All you asked was for her to honest with you, and keep a promise she made to you.  Isn’t that what a good friend should do?  If she was going to break it (especially if it would cost you money), she could have told you.  Tell her that your feelings are really hurt for those reasons. 

Post # 9
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

It sounds like the real problem is not her pregnancy, but her disappearing on you.  You have every right to be upset about that!

Is it possible the reason she’s been hiding is that she wasn’t ready to tell people about the pregnancy yet, but thought it would be impossible not to tell you if she saw you? I know many people don’t want to share the news until they’re 12 weeks along. 

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