(Closed) I feel so tired. In my soul. (long)

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
796 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I’m so sorry you’re in such a slump!  I love your posts here on weddingbee; you sound like such a cool person.  I don’t really have any advice since I can’t relate to the new baby/home thing, but I don’t really have a lot of friends.  It’s sad sometimes, and lonely.  My fur baby probably wishes I had friends so that I wouldn’t coddle him so much.  Anyways, just offering some support.  And by the way, if I was in Seattle I would totally try to be your friend (not trying to be creepy :))

Post # 18
Member
9123 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

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@iarebridezilla:  hey lady, sorry, that sounds rough.  

A couple thoughts: SAD – do ya have it?  Have you thought about seeing someone and maybe going on an antidepressant?  Or getting a UV lamp?  I know I would have to if I lived in the PNW during the winter… just cannot deal with all that gray.

And a resounding YES on the maid!  We started having a lady come to our house for 2 hours every other week, and it’s so great.  I don’t have to spend my weekends cleaning and can tackle all the projects that I never got to because I had to clean instead.  It’s totally totally worth the money.

eta: that makes me sound like a much better cleaner than I am.  Usually I would just live in a dirty house and feel grumpy about it.  Equally as bad as spending your weekends cleaning.

Post # 19
Member
5891 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

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@iarebridezilla:  Maybe one night a week you do it his way, the next night he does it your way. Or you give him a list of things that need to be done before he goes to bed and you trust that he will get it done. 

As a side note: I know how important having a clean house feels to you. But ask yourself, which is more important to my childs emotional wellbeing, a clean house or two loving-connected parents? Every time you rage-vacuum, you drive a little wedge between you two. Over time…that’s what people mean when they say “we just grew apart…one little wedge at a time”. 

Post # 20
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Oh honey, I will be your friend outside of the bee! I mean… we live over an hour’s drive from each other but if you’re downtown and I’m downtown we could at least do lunch or something!

This is the hardest time of year for most people in Seattle. It’s dreary and dark, especially the last few days. If you can’t go do something in the snow, you can’t get outside much unless you want to be soaked or freeze. Every year during this time I feel the strong urge to go on vacation, and we actually just booked a last minute trip to Palm Springs in March just to get some stinkin vitamin D. 

I get feeling down all the time. I’ll be candid here, I’ve taken anti depressants for over 10 years. When I got pregnant, I decided to wean off them. I spent the last 6 weeks being absolutely fucking miserable. Aside from the strong irritation and ability to go from calm to raging in less than 60 seconds, I started feeling overall unhappy and depressed. So much so that I cried on more than one ocassion that I wasn’t excited to have a baby and I wondered if we had made the wrong decision getting pregnant. I just last week went back on a low dose of my medication and things have turned around already and I’m feeling a lot better. My depression is ALWAYS worse in the winter, and I tend to take more of the medication during the winter months and reduce it in summer.

One thing it sounds like is that you are doing too much on your own? I don’t know your DH’s work schedule, but I do know that I personally am a “take care of it all yourself” and very independent person. Which leads me to feel over stressed, over tired, with a mile long to do list, oh and resentful that my DH isn’t reading my mind and helping out. Is there some of the things you are listing or that are on your list that you can hand off to him? Can you do a bit more in the way of taking turns or doing things together?

Also what about doing yoga or something like that on those free day’s DH offers you? go to a yoga class to destress, go get yourself a coffee after and unwind in a Starbucks (god knows we have plenty) etc…? If you guys like outdoor activities have you considered going up to the Snoqualmie pass nordic center and snowshoeing? You can wear DD and just bundle her up tight. It’s really fun and a nice activity. 

Post # 22
Member
1119 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

Man I wish you lived close by, then we could do nothing together side by side… It feels like I just read the story of my life there, but I have two kids so just getting outside to take a walk means 30 minutes of dressing up a toddler, a baby and then myself, trying to get them both in the stroller.. that walk better be worth it.

gah!

Being stuck with tons of things to do, a lack of time to do it, lack of friends to see and not being able to enjoy hobbies with DH anymore because of the need to watch the baby (or in my case the need to breastfeed regularly because otherwise my breasts become monstruous engorged beasts that hurt – really, they feel like bowling balls if I miss one feeding)…

I’m pretty sure that the spring coming will bring hope for us.

Post # 23
Member
313 posts
Helper bee

Aw <3 Many hugs and prayers for you. If I were near Seattle, I’d totally come watch your daughter or go do something fun with you. You’re adjusting to a LOT right now. Hang in there, be as open with your husband as possible, and make friends with a neighborhood 13 y/o so she can give you a break sometimes!! Best of luck.

Post # 25
Member
2293 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

 

  

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@iarebridezilla:  Internet hugs your way!  It’s been such a blah winter, especially these last few weeks where the sun has barely graced us with her presence.  I’m sorry you’re going through a rough time.  I can’t even imagine the roller coaster that is having an infant.  It will get better!!!  

This may sound weird, but if you ever just need some time out of the house and feel like having coffee with an internet stranger, let me know- I’m in the Seattle area too!  🙂

Post # 26
Member
474 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

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@iarebridezilla:  Yes !!!  It’s a VERY hard adjustment to change your ways.   I know that.  You are not changing you, just the way you do things and look at things.  Write a list of everything you feel needs to be done.  As a person with high anxiety, this helps.  Write the list, cross off the things as you do them, and erase the ones that are rediculous and don’t need to be on it.  This will help.  You can always add them back on … later 🙂

I am not saying that some days, going out just isn’t going to work, because life is life.  Baby will be grumpy, happy, miserable, giddy… you never know.  I had a major exorcist puker also.  I also kept 2 bags.  One for going on a quick run.  Extra outfit, extra blanket, clothes, diapers, bottles, wipes (for Momma too !!) Then I had a gonna be gone a while bag.  2 outfits, 2 blankets, bottles, wipes, diapers etc.  It’s a pain in the ass to keep switching adding etc.  This way I could just grap the bottles and off we went. 

Post # 28
Member
5938 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

Aren’t there tons of Mommy Groups? Where you go and hang out with other moms and their kids? Then from that you could make friends and just go out with a mom or 2. Leave the kids with the hubbies! Oh, and from that group people find babysitters, each other! This all coming from a non-mom. Lol! I think it’ll work out for you, it’s really hard to start a new life in a new area. Plus having a “new” child. That’s a lot!!

Post # 30
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

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@iarebridezilla:  LOL have you tried yoga? You definitely should! I love Vinyasa actually, it’s power yoga in a warm room, it’s quite the workout while also stretching you out and being quiet. I was amazed when I started doing yoga how great I felt. 

That’s awesome your mom has a place in Suncadia! My mom has a piece of property on Rope Rider but no house on it yet so we usually rent condo’s. That’s another great thing to do together, and if there’s snow then snowshoeing is a great option!

That sucks about your car, do you get it back soon?? 

Also maybe watch groupon and living social for classes, cooking classes, painting and wine drinking events (those are fun), etc that you can go do, maybe meet some people, or maybe not, maybe just to even go do something!

Post # 31
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

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@iarebridezilla:  Ok! Let’s do it! I only work downtown, I live further north but am open on where we meet!

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