(Closed) I feel so tired. In my soul. (long)

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 62
Member
561 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

View original reply
@iarebridezilla:  Oof. I sympathize; when you have a baby, your social life get thrown for a complete loop. We still manage to meet friends for happy hour at breweries (we’re also homebrewers), but you gotta be done so early because, hey, the baby has to be in bed. And mine is 9.5 months and still sleeps like crap some nights, so I feel you on being in bed by 9.

I’d try to make it to the homebrew club meetings. Ours is such a good bunch of people, and it’s easy to turn into even more social opportunities. Hey, let’s try this new brewery! Let’s get together and brew some weekend!

Also, don’t discount the possibility of a little PPD coloring everything. It’s very common for PPD to wait 6 or 8 months before rearing its ugly head. You are recognizing it, talking about it, and making a plan to do something about it – and that is awesome.

Post # 63
Member
1051 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

View original reply
@iarebridezilla:  I love reading your posts and feel so bad that you’re feeling so down. Frown

We aren’t planning on TTC for a few months, but what you’re going through is something I think about.  I have talked to a lot of women about this, and the good news is that it does get better.

It sounds like you’re out of your element.  Even though you grew up in the Seattle area, it doesn’t sound like you’ve established your roots yet and I really think once the weather breaks and you can get out more, you WILL feel so much better.

A friend of mine is going through exactly what you’re going through.  Her and her DH moved to a new area for his job (no family at all in the area unlike you) and she became pregnant sooner than she expected.  She cannot afford to be a Stay-At-Home Mom so right now her only social interaction is work, but she works with kids all day, so she doesn’t get the adult interaction that she (and I think you) are craving.

She too joined a mom’s group when she was on maternity leave, but like your group, they were all SAHMs and had their get togethers while she was at work.

She then found on the internet a working moms group.  They meet 2x/month in the evening at a restaurant or pub.  She’s been to 4 of their get togethers and in talking to her, she sounds soooo much happier! 2 of the women in the group live in her subdivision and she’s become good friends with them and talks and meets with them outside of their group meetings.

And best of all – she’s gotten a ton of recommendations on everything – including babysitters!  Actually, she said that the women in her group are really good about babysitting for each other!

My friend also had to learn not to be afraid to take the baby out.  Her husband is on a bowling team and sometimes she and the baby go with him for a little while.  She’s also made friends with one of her husband’s friend’s wifes so they will get together while the guys are bowling.  I have seen a complete 180 in her.

We are looking into a maid service for us too.  I have found in my brief research that if you go with a big company, obviously you’ll pay a lot more, but they have insurance, something that’s important to me.  We also have the name of a cleaning lady that one of my coworkers has used for years and I will probalby talk to her as well.  Even if it’s just for a little bit, I think it will really help you out.

Hang in there!  My grandmother’s favorite phrase was “this too shall pass” and I really do believe that there are brighter days ahead. Smile

Post # 64
Member
3067 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

View original reply
@iarebridezilla:  oohh +1 to yoga. I swear the only reason i didnt get my usual SAD this year is because I go to yoga 4 times a week atleast. Also, if you dig it, a lot of places offer toddler and mommy classes when baby gets older haha πŸ™‚

Also +1 to bringing your baby out with you- a friend of mine did this when her son was small and trust me it was not a big deal! I loved seeing him and he would just sleep in the stroller most of the time πŸ™‚

Post # 66
Member
1051 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

View original reply
@Boxerlover24:  +2 on the yoga recommendation!

I just started yoga a few months ago and I love it!  I only do it once a week because I don’t feel like I’m getting a “real” workout, if that makes sense.  I should rephrase that and say I feel like I’m getting a different workout than what I’m used to, but I feel so much better once the class is over!

I take hot vinyasa yoga.  I was worried when I first started that I wasn’t in good enough shape for it, but I haven’t found that to be the case.  While the room is hot, I don’t think it’s *that* hot.  Plus,  I like to sweat when I work out.

DH is a runner and is trying to get me into running and I said once the weather breaks I will try to go with him (I think I’m setting myself up for failure though!)

OP – do you have a good jogging stroller? I think you too will feel better once you start running again.

Post # 67
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

View original reply
@iarebridezilla:  Puyallup! We just got married at the Pavilion (big building downtown next to the library). πŸ™‚ My parents live in Orting, that area is like my second home. Let’s see…there’s a weekly farmers market inside the Pavilion; it’s year round and could make for a fun outing (and who knows, you might meet other people there). There’s the Chihuly glass museum in Tacoma that I’ve heard is pretty cool, plus Point Defiance (both the park and the zoo/aquarium). My cousin belongs to an awesome MOPS group in South Hill– maybe there’s one nearby that would have evening or weekend meet ups?

Spring Fair is coming soon! Also, there’s a South Sound Running in Tacoma that (I’ve heard) is a great place to find out about upcoming running events and join training groups. Maybe you guys could join a non-hasher group, meet people, and start your own hasher club? You could join a group for the Mud Run in May (I think)…it’s not the same but you do get beer at the end. πŸ™‚

Could you do a home-brew tasting party? Good way to meet the other wives and start new friendships. Sumner has an EXCELLENT summer concert series. You could do a day with friends at Northwest Trek, and the adults could zipline. There are some nice running trails in University Place (there’s a really nice one that winds through Chambers Bay).

Maybe once you have a brew tasting party, you could put together a “Brewer’s Wives’ Club” with the other ladies.

Post # 68
Member
561 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

View original reply
@iarebridezilla:  Oh, SOME of them are exactly that geeky, yeah! My DH would probably happily yap about the particulars of this or that cooling manifold or mash tun. But a lot of the brewers just like talking about good beer. I’m in your shoes – I know a great deal about the process, but enjoy the end product far more than the brewing itself. Every club probably has its own personality, but it’s really worth a shot to see what these guys are like.

Also, is there a mom & me yoga group around? It’s not getting you the same workout as a standard yoga class (and wow, how I miss that – doing something for myself!), but you can connect with other moms.

It’s so hard finding those mom group things that meet during non-work hours. Hey, I wanna take my baby to a meetup group! But it’s at 10am on Tuesdays…sigh.

Post # 69
Member
561 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

View original reply
@Sugar_and_Spice:  But you know, women brew, too. πŸ˜‰

Post # 71
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

View original reply
@annifer:  I know, I know, sorry. Lady Brewers Club! We All Just Want to Drink Beer Club! Forgive me for the useless gendering, I still have not had enough coffee today. πŸ˜‰

Post # 72
Member
841 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@iarebridezilla:  I think this is something many new moms go through, even with their families and friends nearby. My Future Sister-In-Law was quite down (post-partum depression) after my nephew was born and attended different support groups, as well as the Early Years Centre with her son. It got her out of the house during the day and helped her meet new friends (although she lives in her hometown and all her friends do too pretty much). She said the groups are what got her through it. I hope that when I have a baby one day I can join a mommy running group because you can bring your baby and socialize with other new moms who will understand your thoughts and feelings.

Anyway, I just hope you know you aren’t alone. I think it would be very hard to have a baby in the winter (my nephew was a November baby btw) because you are stuck in the house.

I just realized you probably aren’t on mat leave anymore since you live in the USA… my Future Sister-In-Law did a lot of this stuff during the day. But there are probably night options too that you can bring your baby too. πŸ™‚

Post # 73
Member
561 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

View original reply
@Sugar_and_Spice:  πŸ˜€ I’m teasing. As long as there’s beer, everyone will show up.

Post # 74
Member
2085 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Ah hun, I feel for you.  I didn’t read all the posts bc, well, that’s a lot of reading lol. 

I’m not a parent yet, so my advice may not be that helpful?  It sounds like your funk is about feeling lonely, like your on auto pilot.  If your hubby is making friends at his home brew club thing, you should find out if some of them are married or have SOs.  Maybe you could have a dinner party so you can stay home, put Audrey to bed in her own crib and then still have some fun adult time.  Maybe some of their wives could become your friends.

What about a mom/baby kind of club?  Sounds like you need some lady friends.  And have DH help you out more with the daily chores – dishes, laundry etc.

If the activity you and hubs participated in before is too young out where you are now, what about other activities?  My sister is 32 and was playing in a Dodgeball league here and from what she told me, it was mainly people in her age group that were on her team (not sure about the other teams).  Maybe you could find something like that.

You parents are 45 min away, would they not come out and stay over now and then on a friday so you can Hubs can go out for the evening?  Or just so that you guys can sleep in?

Those were suggestions I thought of off hand… I hope you start feeling better.  Maybe a good shopping trip on your DH’s dime will perk you up!

Post # 75
Member
2085 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

View original reply
@iarebridezilla:  Oh something fun you could do with the brew club – my Fiance had a beer tasting party once… everyone loved it!  He had everyone bring 3-5 individual beers from various micro breweries and he had sheets printed out for everyone to rate them and comment etc.  We had lots of food and we’d poor the beers into shot glasses so everyone could have a taste of each beer…

Was fun and social and got everyone talking and interacting… a really good time.  It was all his friends from his program at the time and I didn’t know anyone, so it was a great way for me to interact and chat with them (I’m normally very shy) – no one is sitting in a corner unsure what to do or say

The topic ‘I feel so tired. In my soul. (long)’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors