I love reading your posts and feel so bad that you’re feeling so down.
We aren’t planning on TTC for a few months, but what you’re going through is something I think about. I have talked to a lot of women about this, and the good news is that it does get better.
It sounds like you’re out of your element. Even though you grew up in the Seattle area, it doesn’t sound like you’ve established your roots yet and I really think once the weather breaks and you can get out more, you WILL feel so much better.
A friend of mine is going through exactly what you’re going through. Her and her DH moved to a new area for his job (no family at all in the area unlike you) and she became pregnant sooner than she expected. She cannot afford to be a Stay-At-Home Mom so right now her only social interaction is work, but she works with kids all day, so she doesn’t get the adult interaction that she (and I think you) are craving.
She too joined a mom’s group when she was on maternity leave, but like your group, they were all SAHMs and had their get togethers while she was at work.
She then found on the internet a working moms group. They meet 2x/month in the evening at a restaurant or pub. She’s been to 4 of their get togethers and in talking to her, she sounds soooo much happier! 2 of the women in the group live in her subdivision and she’s become good friends with them and talks and meets with them outside of their group meetings.
And best of all – she’s gotten a ton of recommendations on everything – including babysitters! Actually, she said that the women in her group are really good about babysitting for each other!
My friend also had to learn not to be afraid to take the baby out. Her husband is on a bowling team and sometimes she and the baby go with him for a little while. She’s also made friends with one of her husband’s friend’s wifes so they will get together while the guys are bowling. I have seen a complete 180 in her.
We are looking into a maid service for us too. I have found in my brief research that if you go with a big company, obviously you’ll pay a lot more, but they have insurance, something that’s important to me. We also have the name of a cleaning lady that one of my coworkers has used for years and I will probalby talk to her as well. Even if it’s just for a little bit, I think it will really help you out.
Hang in there! My grandmother’s favorite phrase was “this too shall pass” and I really do believe that there are brighter days ahead.