(Closed) I feel somewhat bad…should I do something?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
9674 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@peachacid:  I think you’ll be fine.  You’re not the first person to ever oversleep while on vacation.  And since he was already in his office it’s doubtful he would consider it rude – it was an accident and accidents happen.  If you explain and apologize, that should be enough.  😉

Post # 4
Member
696 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Ya I think an apology is probably good enough, though a simple coffee with condiments on the side is a nice gesture that shows you feel bad for missing the appointment and would probably go a long way to making him feel better about you- it shows you arent the type of person who normally stands people up because if you were you wouldnt feel bad about it.

Post # 5
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Just apologize.    I think it’d be weird/inappropriate to bring something.  It’s not like he’s your friend.

Post # 6
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I say a coffee or cupcake would be good idea.  

Post # 7
Member
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

He’s the venue coordinator – it’s his JOB to show the venue.  When we miss appointments it screws with the schedules of our vendors.  It is rude, and we should be apologetic when it happens.  (Not to scold you, peachacid:, I’m just surprised that other people think it’s no big deal.  How does it feel when people are no shows for us at work?)

I think bringing a small item as  a gesture is nice.  A full on fruit basket and a gift certificate to a steak dinner? – that’s over the top.  But a small food item? – shows you care. 

If you haven’t met him before, I’m not sure I’d bring hot coffee though.  There are plenty of people who don’t drink coffee, or don’t drink it after 9am (or whatever) or only drink a very specific coffee.  To hand them a hot drink (with an obvious “expiration” on it) puts him on the spot – he has to drink it to be polite, even if he doesn’t like it. 

A half dozen cookies or brownies or other baked good (especially if you have time to bake them yourself!) shows some thought and are a generic “oops, sorry i inconvenienced you” gift, but aren’t overly personal. And they can politely be “saved for later” if he doesn’t care for them… He doesn’t have to let on.  (If you don’t have time to bake, hit up the grocery store and pick up something that looks tasty – but not too pricey, or messy – from the bakery.)

Post # 8
Member
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I think a sincere apology is perfectly fine, and a gift would be out of place, unless you have a longstanding relationship with the person. If you say, missed an appointment with your regular hairdresser, then I’d say bring her a starbuck’s giftcard as an apology. But for a person who’s income doesn’t matter whether or not you showed up, and with which you have no relationship with outside of the professional confines? Apologize, move on.

@UmbrellaMoon:  people stand me up for appointments ALL THE TIME at my job  – and it doesn’t offend me in the slightest. It’s (an unfortunate) part of the job.

Post # 9
Member
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@StL.Ashley:  You must be way more patient than me.  I get stressed and annoyed when people can’t keep appointments with me! (I have not been accused of having the patience of a Saint though. 😉 )

Sure, I’m often glad to have that time back – but it’s never the full time – I end up waiting and waiting for them to show, and then I have to rearrange my afternoon (or tomorrow, or whatever) to fit them in when I was planning to do something else.  I always smile and am pleasant when it happens, but I find it to be kind of rude and unprofessional.

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