(Closed) I feel super guilty.

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
5921 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I wouldn’t think too much of it, honestly.  I had a dream a few weeks ago about my ex boyfriend.  We were getting married in the dream, and by husband didn’t exist.  I woke up all happy and felt so guilty about it!

Bottom line, I don’t miss my ex at all.  I haven’t spoken to him in 6 years, and have absolutely no desire too.  Dreams don’t mean anything at all, it’s what you do in real life that counts. 

Post # 4
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Everyone has a crush at some point, so that’s not really anything to feel guilty over. Are you questioning whether you’d like to experience more of life or relationships before you get married?

Post # 5
Member
3257 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think this is completely normal. We all have thought of someone else at some point in time.

I think what truly matters is the fact that you didn’t act on it. That shows your true love and loyalty. It would have been a different story if you had gotten a drink with him, flirted with him at the bar, etc. 

Post # 6
Member
3520 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I read somewhere that some people think that EVERYONE in your dream is just a manifestation of you.  So maybe, this was your way of indulging in a little “what if” because it was in the back of your head when you went to sleep.

That said, I had a dream that I was making out with Jason Statham (the Transporter)… it was so real, I was embarrassed when I woke up next to Fi.  πŸ™‚

Post # 8
Member
1909 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@SweetRose2011: No worries, honey! I think it’s totally normal πŸ™‚

I’ve had dreams recently about relationships/crushes that I haven’t thought about in ages. I chalk it up to processing life and love as I get ready for our wedding!

Post # 9
Member
3182 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@SweetRose2011: I think some of those feelings are inevitable regardless of how many people you’ve dated and how much partying you’ve done.  I’ve felt like that too and I did plenty of partying and “dating”.  I think it comes with the territory of realizing that this is going to be the one person you (hopefully) spend the rest of your life with.  At least you are realizing what a serious commitment that is and considering what you will be giving up beforehand, rather than later!

Post # 10
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@SweetRose2011: That’s normal too. I think most people have that moment when they’re like “Oh my god, this is it”

I think you’re just having that moment and it’s coming out in your dreams, but at the end of the day you will know that this is the right thing.

Post # 11
Member
3257 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@SweetRose2011: Honestly, this happened to me the other night and my wedding is right around the corner, as well. I had a dream about my ex-boyfriend; nothing happened, we just appeared to be together in the dream because we were on a date or something

…then I ran into him at the mall where he works when I was picking up my wedding shoes and remembered how he pales in comparison to FH and how sad and different my life would be if I had stuck with him…

Getting married is a huge step in life, and I think it’s only natural to reflect on your past relationships or crushes before you commit to someone forever.

I wouldn’t sweat this, dear. It sounds like you are very sure of your FH or you wouldn’t even think twice about flirting with this dude.

Post # 12
Member
3257 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@pink.sequins: I like the way you put it… processing life and love… so very true.

Post # 14
Member
1909 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@brideatbeach: Thanks πŸ˜‰

@SweetRose2011: The fact that this worries you so much sends me the signal that you really value marriage, your Fiance, and your upcoming nuptials. You were guilty in your dream and IRL, and your *gag* made me LOL πŸ™‚ Be gentle with yourself, life is stressful enough!

Post # 15
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Oh my goodness, you need to stop being so hard on yourself!  Dreams are involuntary.  They are often made up of things that happened to us in a given day or week or month or even something that we might have been thinking about.  Your neurons are just firing, kinda randomly, and some times parts of your dream are completely disconnected, but when you wake up, you sort of make something up to connect all the disconnected parts.  So what you remember having dreamed, wasn’t really what you dreamed at all.  

Looking at your dream in this context, it makes sense since you saw this old crush recently. You might have even briefly though of him or thought of something from high school yesterday.  And in your dream you got caught with an email confession – well, you love your fiance.  You don’t want to hurt your fiance.  So even in dreamland you felt bad for hurting him and you confessed to your best friend.  

Post # 16
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I think you would be surprised just how common this really is! (or not, seeing how you all can relate:P) but dear I recently had a crazy dream involving David Tennant…does that mean I want to run away and attempt stalking the Doctor any time soon?…probably not.

Its ok, really. I think it has more to do with the fact that your impending marriage is bringing up all the past relationships and crushes you had in the past because you are becoming ready to commit yourself to your one true love. Also, dreams are a way to “digest” memories apparently, so it plays out in interesting ways at times (you saw an old crush, the dream is a way of putting that in your long term or short term memory).

πŸ™‚ Dont worry too much dear!

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