(Closed) I feel too old for all the "traditional" wedding stuff.

posted 6 years ago in 40 Something
Post # 31
Member
17 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2017

what an amazing group of wedding and wedding to be stories! I’ll be almost 49 and Fiance 50 when we get married next year. Both divorced. His first wedding was large and all out and my first wedding was an elopement with no family/friends. Both of our first marriages lasted 22-24 years and we know money/size of wedding has NO bearing on love.  The issue……we both want small and intimate; however, I would love my parents to be here. As they are older, it is difficult for them to travel (they live thousands of miles away). If we were to go there and get married, our grown children (6 between us) would not be able to afford the trip/tickets/hotel/etc. I’m feeling so torn! My parents or our children? Any advice?

Post # 32
Member
1339 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

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wild4daisies:  Would you be able to pay for your children to fly to where your parents are? Are both sets of parents near each other? What about doing a JOP with your parents and then a party with your children? Or vice versa?

Post # 33
Member
4037 posts
Honey bee

I did almost none, of what people call the “traditional stuff,” and we married in the late 1970s.

Post # 34
Member
2097 posts
Buzzing bee

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bonbon663:  Try to hone on on what is important to him, and create a version of that which you feel comfortable. I watch a lot of SYTDD and there are plenty of 40+ brides. People love weddings and and happy endings, so know that you are not “asking too much” of anyone to get behind any type of wedding you and the groom decide to have.

Maybe the important stuff to him is to have a white dress, great vows, and great food. You can totally work with those parameters to make it less fussy, less “20 something” 

 

Destination Wedding are great for older bride/2nd marriages because the people who will travel for you are the close/the core/ the invested.

In the end it boils down to creating a perfect comprimise– something that makes you both happy and satisfied with the day, and it’s great practice for marriage (someone had to tell me that to when I was planning my wedding. Oh wait, our wedding! See!) 

Post # 35
Member
2316 posts
Buzzing bee

 

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bonbon663:  I LOVE your venue!  no matter what room you choose uplighting will do amazing things for the ambiance. I clicked on the link for the heritage room and the main pic with uplighting makes such a big difference.  Lighting makes such a big impact that you can save money on other decor.  

Post # 36
Member
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

41 here, second marriage.

I can sympathize. Maybe you can negotiate with your Fiance to skip the elements that make you uncomfortable? For example, I don’t have a wedding party (not common in my culture anyway), no veil, no bachelorette or engagement pictures, no garter toss, dad not walking me down the aisle, etc.

Post # 37
Member
17 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2017

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MangoSong:  flying 6 children isn’t in the budget. Each flight would be $700, plus myself, Fiance and his parents. So 10 flights $7,000!  My parents live 3,060 km away (each way) 🙂 

Post # 38
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

I am 42 and he is 40 – my first wedding, his second.  I don’t want all the “frou frou” either.  I want an evening ceremony, 7 or 7:30 pm start with a cocktail style reception (heavy hors d’oeurves). Lots of mingling and laid back.  Just a party with a wedding thrown in 

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