- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
Hi, I signed up here as soon as I got engaged but I’ve mainly just lurked around. I just don’t know where else to turn at this point. I apologize for this long winded post…
My fiance is an MPhil student and he’s pursuing an upgrade to Phd. He’s already missed many preliminary deadlines, but his absolute deadline for submission is somewhere in September. Our wedding is August 25th and we return from the honeymoon September 2nd.
Months back, when the wedding planning was in its lighter stages, I handled everything myself easily. He indicated that he wanted to help, and I told him that his contribution at that point was to ensure his work got done before wedding crunch time, i.e. the last few weeks when I really would need help. I said this many times and when I saw it was not happening, I basically begged him to finish early so that he could help me when I needed the help.
It is now 6 days to the wedding and he’s not done with his work. He is spending the last few weeks when I now need his help at work because he has no choice, this deadline must be met. I am so hurt. I love him and I know I want to marry him regardless. But how could he do this to me? He has left me to fend for myself on the eve of OUR wedding.
I am a bride and I think I’m supposed to be happy or excited or something. All I feel is sad, hurt, angry, upset, disappointed, let down and stressed. I think I will continue to feel this till the wedding day and all through our honeymoon. I spent a year planning the perfect honeymoon and I can’t bear to see it ruined because we are both so worried about his upcoming deadline.
He is genuinely sorry and has apologized many times but what can he do at this point? I can handle the last minute stuff on my own since I have no choice, though I wish I didn’t have to. My concern is that I hate to get married feeling like this. He is the man of my dreams, but I feel so injusticed. Is that any way to start a marriage? And this is our precious honeymoon, which we both dreamt of for so long, that I can see just being stressful now.
Any wisdom or perspective would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.