(Closed) I feel uncomfortable about registering, showers, etc.

posted 8 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
2474 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

You definitely aren’t crazy.  I feel the same way.  In fact, I told my Maid/Matron of Honor and others that I absolutely do not want a shower.  I can’t stand the thought of it.  They are trying to pressure me to have one though.   The only reason I’m even creating a registry is because my Fiance wants one.

Post # 4
Member
3285 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

you’re definitely not crazy!  i was in the same boat…lucky for me, EVERYONE had to travel to get to our wedding pretty much (I am thinking 80 percent) so we didn’t have ANY of those parties, as people didn’t arrive here until the day before the wedding pretty much.

i know that’s not extremely helpful, but this might: I was just a Bridesmaid or Best Man in another wedding and the bride was similar in emotions…so, she talked to the Maid/Matron of Honor and me, and we organized a shower that would fit her personality better…more like a “let’s go out to a semi-nice restaurant, enjoy conversation and company and oh yeah, open a few gifts, too.”  It was more like a birthday party night out, which she enjoyed.  It was also open to guys and gals, so it was like a quadruple date night, lol. =)

Post # 5
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Felt the same way – my sister in law insisted on throwing SOMETHING (“but your friends made you go to theirs, now its your turn!”) so we agreed – but only to a coed party with no gift opening or embarassing games. We registered at two places, but didn’t tell anyone unless they asked. but they’re target and BBB, which is easy to just search people’s names if you want to get them a gift. Don’t worry, you’re not alone. If you do register, just make sure to pick things in different price ranges so you don’t feel guilty and no one will scoff at your 500 dollar kitchen trinket or something 🙂

Post # 6
Member
3575 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

You’re not crazy.  My Fiance is struggling with this as well.  I like @krissycake’s idea with the shower to better suit the bride’s personality, etc. 

Post # 7
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I feel the same way! I felt really bad about putting things on the registry. I was like, “oh man, I really like this but I don’t want our guests to feel obligated to buy it”. We were very cost conscious, I also didn’t want our guests to be like, “wth, this is too expensive, what’s wrong with them”. And the idea of the shower is so strange to me! I have never really been the guest of honor, I’d be ok if it never happened. I’m gonna feel silly!

Post # 8
Member
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

OMG, I could have written this word-for-word!  Actually posted a similar post yesterday but  blamed it on my age…..feel almost 40 is too old for this kind of stuff.  My little sister (and MOH) called me last night and scolded me for not putting enough stuff on our registry so she went in and added a ton of stuff (she works part-time at Bed, Bath, and Beyond so knows the store well).  It helps to focus on the fact that we go to other people’s showers and use their registries and now it’s just our turn!  Easier said than done ;o)

Post # 11
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Sounds wonderful! Blame the setting – you wouldn’t want to get your new dishtowels muddy would you? 😛 Honestly, I can’t really think of anyone that really likes to sit in the present circle, so i think you’ll be just fine skipping it.

Post # 12
Member
1523 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I understand how you are feeling, but don’t worry about, people really want to be excited and celebrate your marriage.

I also thought that the registry was a bit funny, but tried to think of it as simply a wish list which it is. No one is required to buy you anything off of your registries. I also tried to select items in a wide range of price point. I did not for big sets of chine or silver. I registered for place settings so someone could choose to buy us one of those which is less expensive than a big set.

Also, the bridal showers are a bit funny but the point of them is to shower the brides with gifts. Enjoy getting the gifts, say thank you a ton and send out thank you notes!

Post # 13
Member
372 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@Danelphia, I asked that same question about a week ago, whether or not it was considered rude not to open the gifts at the shower. I think that’s totally weird and awkward, and I HATE watching people open gifts! I think if it was just my friends and stuff, they’d be ok with it, but I think more traditional older folks (i.e. my inlaws, etc.) would think it was rude if I didn’t publically open and acknowledge the gifts. ::sigh:: I hate it!

Post # 14
Hostess
18641 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

If you aren’t comfortable with a shower, you don’t have to have one.  I didn’t have one because we didn’t really need a lot of stuff anyway.

Post # 15
Member
2532 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Ive always hated opening presents in front of others!!!

Post # 16
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

yeah, especially if you have a registry. You know what people are going to buy you so do you act surprised? haha

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