(Closed) ??? I flipped out last night….

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1149 posts
Bumble bee

Yep. Totally normal, particularly if your boyfriend isn’t forthcoming with compliments and um, "twister" initiations.  

Now, if you find yourself doing that OFTEN, then you might have a problem.  But I’ve done it myself once or twice in the past!

As for the proposal, at least you’ll be nice and surprised when he does it!  I know it’s hard but try to be patient.  This is HIS thing (the proposal) so it really needs to unfold his way. 

Good luck and keep us posted!

Post # 4
Member
18 posts
Newbee

Oh honey! If that’s the worst case of crazy you’ve ever whipped out then do NOT worry about it! 

I would love to be one of those gals who quietly waits for the engagement ring, mysteriously not mentioning it until the guys pops the question. Fortunately or unfortunately, though, I am about as mysterious as Cheez Wiz (hmm…bad analogy…Cheez Wiz is kind of a mysterious substance actually…) and I tend to throw everything out on the table. This has led to some regrettable pre-engagement whining on my part, especially after a few glasses of wine ("I know we want to save up and do the wedding next September but can’t we just get engaged now?! I want to wear my riiiiing!!") When I have calmed down again Boyfriend or Best Friend will laugh at my crazy self with me!

I swear to you, this particular topic makes the most grounded women crazy, especially if the Boyfriend or Best Friend is hemming and hawing for whatever reason! 

 

Post # 6
Member
7053 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

It is ok.  Like I said on another thread where I proclaimed how happy I am to not really be single, "give me a choclate cupcake and NOBODY gets hurt!!!".. just have a little chocolate, go get a pedicure and a foot massage (I had one today) and relax.

Your hive friends have your back.  I’m there..been there.  I’ve had complete meltdowns over wedding discussions with my guy..and I about lost it the other night when he suggested we watch "Bride Wars"..but he handed me a handfull of cherries (which i love almost as much as a good cupcake) and rubbed my feet and I was fine 🙂

You’re just wondering what is going on in his head.  Normal.  wondering why the wait.  Extremely normal.  If you’re batsh*t crazy, then I’m totally certifiable, ready for the rubber room kind of wacky!!!

forgeddaboudit! Your guy probably already did anyway!

Just relax, enjoy this time where there is no stress, the calm before the wedding planning storm, and go get that chocolate cupcake!  I prefer the two bite chocolate cupcakes because if I eat just one I don’t feel so bad about sabotaging my diet!

Hugs… 

Post # 7
Member
7053 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Btw..still laughing at Miss Summertime and Cheese Whiz!!!  I almost blew my coke zero out my nose at that one!

Post # 8
Member
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010 - Heinz Chapel Ceremony, Museum Reception

Giiiiiiirl. Go ahead and PM me if you want to talk engaged-in-waiting crazy. I am "officially" engaged now, but in all honesty, I am too embarrassed to write about my pre-officialness lunacy on this board.

Post # 9
Bee
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion

It happens to the best of us.  Just be grateful you have an awesome bf that listens to you and makes you feel better when you are in freak-out mode!

Post # 10
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

we are >>>here<<< on the nutty engagement.  i am impatiently waiting and i don’t want to get my hopes up (my bday is coming soon).  he says he wants to surprise me, but i’m afraid to get my hopes up because i think he’ll read it all over my face that i am not happy.

Post # 11
Member
7053 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m with you Crebre80.  I REFUSE to think it will happen on any certain designated as important day.  Thus, I have ruled out the 4th of July, Labor Day, and possibly our summer vacation next month.

If it DOES happen I’ll be fine with it.

Then again, HE suggested 2 days ago for us to actually watch "Bride Wars".  He asked me (after Anne got her e ring in the fortune cookie) "How should a guy ask a girl to marry him?" 

What did I say to that?  (realize that I am of course, now somewhat disillusioned and a bit of a downplayer about this subject) "I have no damn clue how you guys do that."

I told my sis about it, and she said "Belle  you are sometimes quite dunderheaded..he may have been asking you HOW you wished to be asked." 

I just don’t let upcoming holidays or days of significance cause me to sweat it anymore.  He will do it when he either has it payed off (very conservative financially) or in his own time, although he’s claiming it will be soon (which makes me want to stick my fingers in my ears and go lalalala).    

Post # 12
Member
345 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

CHK I feel like we are totally on the same wavelength, every time you post I 100% relate!

 I had a mini break down the other day too, like, do you want me? why can’t we get engaged? blah blah blah… and he was just like baby, you trust me right? you know I love you right? then please let me do this my way.

after that little bit I felt foolish too, because he’s right. He wants to surprise me, and if I continue to bother him it won’t be a surprise. I’ve stopped letting myself talk about it to him, and just live vicariously through the bees 🙂

Post # 13
Member
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Awww… you know he loves if he KNOWS how crazy you are, and still thinks you’re the most amazing person he’s ever met.

My recent meltdown involved me deciding that I was not marry-able, b/c our invitations were technically accurate, but the paper is kind of cheezy. I was under a lot of stress that week, and was suggested that we use them to wallpaper the house that we just placed an offer on. He gave me a hug and a cookie, when he should have called some authority.

A little crazy is good.  

 

Post # 14
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee

CHK your post cracked me up! 🙂

It wouldn’t be normal if we didn’t say such "foolish" things. Totally been there. 

Post # 15
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Oh I think we’ve all had those moments. Especially when you tell him you don’t really care if you have an engagement ring (really didn’t care but wanted a super blingy band!). And he says "No, you deserve an engagement ring. I want you to have an engagement ring". And then you go look at rings and pick out a few contenders. And then months go by. Your birthday goes by. Christmas goes by. New Years goes by. And your 1st anniversary of dating goes by and NO ring. And he tells you it’s ok to start planning. And you go pick out a dress. And the girl at the bridal store probably thinks your crazy because you are shopping for  wedding dress with no ring! Finally, it happens and you will forget about all of your crazy behavior, and second guessing his feelings, and you’ll be just so happy to have that sparkle on your finger. And you won’t stop smiling for days.

I’ve learned the hard way that guys just need to do things on their own schedule. Be patient and live vicariously through all the brides on weddingbee until your time comes. Because once it does, it’s a rollar coaster ride! Especially if you decided to get married within 7 months of getting engaged like me!

Post # 16
Member
81 posts
Worker bee

so not only have i totally done the same thing before, many times (we have a "game" we play late at night, probably at least once a week, before we fall asleep where i ask my guy silly questions, like, why do you love me, when did you realize you loved me, do you think all my questions are cute or annoying, blah blah blah), but i’m not even embarraseed about it! he’s not the most forthcoming about his feelings and sometimes needs a little prodding to express himself. overall, i’m really low maintenance, but that doesn’t mean i don’t have needs, and i get insecure and need reassurances. and it’s okay to be completely vulnerable to each other, because he’s the one person i can be completely unguarded around. the tone of the conversation is usually pretty playful and light-hearted, i try not to push too much on the "when are we getting engaged" questions, but i definitely show him my vulnerability and insecurities. he sometimes gets annoyed, but really i think he loves it–whenever i’m out of town (i travel for work a lot), he says what he misses most is our time before we fall asleep

so, in my opinion, don’t feel foolish! for me, it’s being able to be that vulnerable that makes the relationship so unique and meaningful. if he couldn’t take it and make me feel better without judging me, i wouldn’t be as completely comfortable as i am. he sees me as i am and loves me for it, which is why i love him

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