I followed my heart

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 46
Member
943 posts
Busy bee

MrsMellyBean :  you dont get congratulations for going through with a wedding when you knew it was wrong. She was a coward and because of it, she and her partner wrecked two marriages and the lives of four children.

There is nothing to be congratulated for. As a mother and an adult you have a responsibility to your child and you have to make decisions that are in the best interest of your child. Getting married and then walking out six months later to be with your lover is not showing good judgement. 

Post # 47
Member
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

allywed :  actually sexuality is far more fluid that we like to believe and on a spectrum. Human sexuality is far more complex than people understand, so it’s totally ok for her to not label herself.

Post # 48
Member
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I’m sorry, but following your heart and doing whatever the hell you want in order to feel good in life and doing it at the expense of others; ESPECIALLY innocent children and loving spouses; is just plain shitty! No excuses. I have zero sympathy or understanding for the OP in this case, because she never should’ve married her husband knowing she was in love with someone else.

If the OP was a MAN who was in love with his best friend and they pulled a stunt like this they’d be crucified rather than lauded for “following their hearts”. Shitty is shitty no matter what. 

Post # 49
Member
2334 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

aubreymer91 :  I understand that and while there’s no need for definitive ‘labels’, I found it strange there was almost an “omg, I’m not gay or bi” anti-gay vibe to her post whoch was at odds for trying to be your ‘authentic self’

Post # 50
Member
1671 posts
Bumble bee

Must be nice to be perfect. 

ETA- I’m not saying she didn’t do anything wrong, nor is she. But she’s an adult and doesn’t need a lecture. 

Post # 51
Member
9666 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I really hope that things work out for you and your new relationship but I also hope you realize that to be your authentic self you need to recognize the incredibly selfish path you took to get here. You had ample opportunity to be honest with your ex-husband and got a lot of advice on this board about how to handle things much better than you did and it seems you ignored it all and created a very big mess that has hurt a lot of people.

Of course what’s done is done but I would suggest you take some time to reflect on why things unfolded the way they did and how you can do better as a person moving forward because you can follow your heart and be your authentic self without hurting so many other people in your life.

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