Post # 1
So I fell in love with this bridesmaid dress a while back, but I just brushed it aside while keep looking for additional bridesmaid dresses. I also tossed around the idea of letting my bridemaids pick their own dresses in certain color and length, however, as the more I look at wedding photos the more I like the look of all of the bridesmaids wearing the same dress.
We are having the reception outdoors at an old fashioned farm and I am a farm girl so I was planning on having my maids and myself wear cowboy boots. When I asked my bridesmaids how they felt about this dress, three out of the five approve, I have not heard back from another, and the last one was a bit rude about not likeing it at all. The site where we would get the dresses is lightinthebox.com where you can pay an extra fee to have them make the dress to specific measurements. Thus, I do think that this dress would look good on all of the girls, is rather inexpensive at $100, and would look great with my dress, the decorations, and the overall feel.
This particular maid who does not like the dress said the following, “I know you love it, but to be honest, I really don’t. It looks like there is a doily around the waist (which is very you). But I have a really, really hard time spending $100 on a dress which I can’t imagine ever wearing again. I don’t mean to crush you, but that’s what I’ve been thinking about it.”
My question is…am I being unreasonable? If not, how should I approach this bridesmaid? And, do you think that this dress in the same blue (it looks a bit lighter and not as shiny in person) with brown cowboy boots? Thank you bees for bee-ing there to vent and figure out what to do!
Post # 3
First of all, I think that dress is adorable. Second, I think it fits very well with your idea/theme/location. And also, I think it’s a fantastic price!
…am I being unreasonable? I don’t think so. Don’t people expect the bride to pick the dresses?
…how should I approach this bridesmaid? She brought up spending $100 on a dress she will never wear again. She is aware that…most BMs don’t wear dresses again whether they love them or hate them, whether they spend $100 or $200, right? Also, another suggestion IF it’s possibly in your budget, you could offer to pay for part of everyone’s dresses or purchase the boots for them, etc, so they don’t feel as if it’s money wasted. Though, in my experience, most girls don’t go into it expecting to love the dress or expecting to want to wear it over and over. Yeah, that sucks, but that’s life.
And, do you think that this dress in the same blue (it looks a bit lighter and not as shiny in person) with brown cowboy boots? Yes! I think it would be absolutely adorable.
Post # 5
You will take pictures! These pictures will last a lifetime, show your children and grandchilren. They sound like fun but NO BOOTS!
Post # 6
Honestly, OP, I spent over $250 on a HIDEOUS dress I will NEVER EVER IN A MILLION YEARS wear again. Your dress is really pretty, and honestly, it COULD be worn to a cocktail party or wedding or something again. I’ve known bridesmaids to spend $400+ on a formal gown bm dress they absolutely will not wear again, but it’s what they signed up for and agreed to when they agreed to be a bm. You know when you agree to be a bm that you’re going to have to shell out cash for a dress, and I’ve never spent less than $200 on a bm dress, so I’d say they’re getting out cheap!
It’s your wedding, so you can choose whatever dress YOU want. Explain to your bm that this is the dress you’ve ultimately decided on, and if she’d like to remian in the bridal party, that this is what she’ll be wearing. Be firm, yet kind. Explain that this is YOUR wedding and the only time YOU will get to do this, and this is what you want. If you were in her wedding, tell her that you did not raise any complaints with her decisions and happily bought and wore the dress she chose. If she has not gotten married yet (which may explain her response), tell her that you will wear whatever she chooses because you love her and want to stand beside her.
I wish you luck and pray I don’t have troublesome bridesmaids. However, all of my girls are pretty laid back and know that it’s my decision just like it was/will be theirs.
Oh and I LOVE the dress with the boots! 🙂 Keep us updated!
Post # 7
Sorry, that dress with cowboy boots is no. This is coming from someone whose boots are a staple in her wardrobe. It is the wrong material and just would clash. If it was a cotton or softer fabric; then yes I would say go for it. But not this dress.
Post # 8
I have to diagree with you. Maybe it’s where I’m from, but bridesmaids here go into it knowing they may or may not like the dress and they know there’s a good probability they will never wear it again. They do it because it’s expected and because they love the bride. More of a “put up and shut up” type of mentality. It’s very hard to take into account and please 6 different people (including the bride), and it honestly probably won’t happen. To say she can’t choose that dress because ONE bridesmaid doesn’t like it is really unfair to the bride. It’s HER day and HER dream, and the majority of the other bridesmaids already like it.
I am in a wedding and the bride gave us two options. The majority liked one option but the bride LOVED the other one, so what am I wearing? The other one! lol and I’m not complaining! I want her to be happy!
Post # 9
if you want boots really bad, incorporate then in your bridal shower or bachelorette party, but not the wedding.
Post # 10
No your not being unreasonable. I assume you are paying for everything else, hair and makeup etc? Your bms surely know they are expected to contribute something towards your big day even if its towards a dress that they dont like. And no bm actually wears their dress after the wedding do they? Lol. And like you said, its not hugely over priced and she can resell it afterwards? Probably at a loss but that really shouldnt be a problem. She is your bridesmaid after all, she must be a good friend and she should be feel honoured to be included in the bridal party.
AND she knows you like it and she cant expect to wear a different dress to the other girls because she doesnt like it. SO, if you’re really set on this dress (which is cute!) and cannot see your wedding wthout it, I would explain to her that you really want that dress and it would mean a lot to you if she would purchase the dress. Also remind her that you are paying for makeup etc (if you are). i cant imagine your being a demanding bridezilla are you? haha.
As far as the boots go, I reckon with the lace around the middle it would look quite country and would tie in well if you were wearing them too. 🙂
Post # 11
Why? Is that just your personal preference to not have boots in a wedding?
Post # 12
I think you should be able to pick whatever dress you want and your bm’s argument is totally invalid. That being said I feel that the shiny, formal material of this particular dress does clash with cowboy boots.
Post # 13
Ok thank you so much ladies! I was just so flabergasted with this bridesmaid’s response to me that I did not know how to respond! I still love the dress and will just have to explain to her the best I can. I have thought of buying the boots or part of the dress as part of the gift to my lovely ladies.
As for the boots, I most likely will order the dresses first and see how they are once they come in and then decide if boots would look good together or not.
Thank you so very much for helping ease my stress and feeling a bit better about trusting myself with what I had fallen in love with. Thanks bees! Ill keep you updated on this and post pics once we tie the knot!
Post # 14
And just to clarify…the fabric does look shiny in the picture but I had ordered a fabric sample from the company in this particular fabric and color and it is not shiny at all and is a bit lighter in the shade of blue! But we will see once the dresses get here about the boots! (I hope they work out!)
Post # 15
Do you mind me asking where that dress is from?