I found out my boyfriend’s going to propose…

posted 10 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
960 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I’m sorry you found out ahead of time, but it’s such an exciting thing!! I definitely knew beforehand. I’d always said to my Fiance that I thought it would be so great to get engaged on the 4th of July. I just love the holiday and my mom always has a big party. Well, last summer I got into a big fight with my grandma. We went out for her birthday (July 3rd) and after dinner went back to my house for presents. I gave her a nice card explaining that I was sorry and that even though we have issues I still love her. She said (in front of my Fiance, mom, and uncle), "Well, I’m coming to the party tomorrow, but I’m not telling you why. You’ll find out." I tried to play it off and make a joke about it, but after that I totally knew that he was going to propose. I almost wish he had scrapped the plans to propose. I was still deliriously happy, but that element of surprise was completely gone. My advice would be to not think about it, not talk about it with anyone, and hope that at least the actual proposal is a complete surprise. Oh, and CONGRATS!!!

Post # 5
497 posts
Helper bee

No worries, Lindseylou.  Sometimes things just don’t happen the way you think they will.  Mr Corn bought a house when we were dating and i was involved with the process.  We had discussed engagement, but had established that he wasn’t ready.  Shortly after buying the house, he asked me when I wanted to move in (this was end of August).  I said I didn’t want to live with him unless we were engaged, and he said "ok, then.  How about we say ‘by December 1’".  That right there was my moment where I knew he wanted to marry me and that it was coming soon.  I feel like we are led to believe that most other brides get that feeling as their SO is getting down on one knee.  But I think the reality is that many, MANY brides know they are going to get engaged before they get engaged.

I, personally, think it is wonderful that you got to witness part of your soon-to-be Fiance’s discussion with your father.  That is something I only wish I could have seen.

I will tell you that no matter how hard you try, it will be next to impossible to just ignore this and go on hoping you are still suprised.  The good news is that Mr Corn STILL was able to surprise me and the moment was still incredibly heartfelt and personal, even though I was expecting the ring ‘any day now’.

Many, MANY congrats to you both and enjoy this time!! It is the last of your single days πŸ™‚

–Mrs Corn

Post # 6
7052 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Congratulations!  We are engaged in the fact both of our families have been told that we are getting married this year, but we haven’t done the ring yet..(stone was not there by Christmas) so we’re doing an engagimoon where this will happen very soon.

Wishing you much happiness!

Post # 7
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I sort of did a few days beforehand.I had accidentally called my mother (I intended to call someone else and pressed the speed dial for her instead), and she also mentioned that my Fiance had left a voicemail for her earlier in the day. They NEVER speak outside of when we all get together, so I knew something was up. I mentioned that if he was ready to propose that he should call my Mom. What I did not realize is that it would be that same weekend. 

I was not upset,but rather more excited than I thought I would be.  

I don’t think it made the proposal any less special. I cried like baby anyway .  Even though you may know it’s coming, it will not prepare you for the rush of emotion that you will feel in that moment. It is a very special moment between you and your boyfriend and knowing that it’s coming will not take anything away from it.

Post # 8
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

My fiance could not keep our impending engagement a secret to save his life! We had talked about it for months and looked at ring ideas together. Then, one night he called me to ask me for my parents’ phone number! I thought for sure he would have the skills to surreptitiously get it off my phone, but no… Then the next day he called me to ask me out for a "special date" on the upcoming Friday. During the week everytime he mentioned Friday he would get this big moony look on his face and start smiling and smiling…. it was adorable, and totally obvious what he was up to. 

We went out to dinner at a restaurant and I could see him getting antsy. I suggested we go for a walk outside. We did, but then we were too cold so we ran back inside, and while we ran I could feel the ring box in his jacket pocket bouncing against my hand! Eventually we ended up going back outside again (on my suggestion) and then he got down on one knee and proposed.

My proposal was perfect for me. The actual ring was a surprise to me, as I wanted it to be. Everything else I saw coming from a million miles away. I am also not big on surprises, and I preferred the week of anticipation!  

So my advice is to enjoy the anticipation! You’ll never get to see him preparing to propose to you again, and I found it to be the sweetest thing ever to witness. I too wish I could have heard him ask my parents; I’ve made him tell me the story of the call so many times. Nothing will compare to or really prepare you for when those words come out of his mouth and when it is actually happening. Trust me, you won’t be any less excited just because you knew it would be coming soon. Congratulations and I’m sure it will be wonderful! 

Post # 10
203 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

My Fiance can’t keep his mouth shut or keep a secret. He asked my parent months and months before he proposed and let that spill about three months before he asked me. About a month before he let it spill that he bought the ring. I knew the only thing he could be waiting for was our vacation so I was anticipating it the entire week. But when it happened he totally caught me off guard I was so shocked and surpised I was shaking the entire bike ride back to our beach house to tell my family. It was perfect because he managed to do it in my favorite place in the world and even thought I knew it was coming he totally caught me off guard. It was perfect and I bet yours will be as well. It is such a special moment even if you are anticipating it it will still be wonderful. Congrats! Be excited. He might not be planning on doing it for months (as in my case), which gives you lots of chances to second guess what you think is so certain

Post # 11
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Congratulaions lindseylou!

Somtimes the biggest secrets in life just find a way of coming to the surface,  I found out my boyufriend was going to propose two days before he had everything planned but I had suspicions all month.  He was just acting so weird and distant.  It was like he was avoiding me, I even asked him if he was breaking up with me.  But it really was because he was afraid to blurt it out because he was so excited and nervous.

The week I got engaged, I was on travel for work, feverishly working on a proposal (working 16 hour days).  On Wednesday he asked me if I wanted to go on a picnic on Friday when I returned home.  I happily accepted, it would be nice to relax before I had to work on Saturday.  Then, he had to be a boy and ruin it.  He wanted to throw me off the engagement scent and said, "well we can only spend a hour on the picnic cause I have a softabll game at 7pm"  Uhm, take a nice romantic date and ruin it.  Yes, I flipped out.  It didnt help that I was under so much pressure at work and anything could have made me had a meltdown.  But basically I told him to just go to softball, I no longer wanted to have a picnic.  After continuing to be stubborn for 20 minutes, my fiance was desperate and demanded that I go on the picnic.  Then he sort of let it slip that he had a gift to give me and a really important question to ask me.  So basically I knew 2 days before it happened.

I was dissapointed too, but then it turned to excitment.  And it ended up being a really wonderful engagement even though I knew beforehand.


Post # 12
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

OMG congrats girl!  I wish I could have heard my Fiance ask my parents’ permission.  You are so lucky to have been there!  (Plus this gives you some awesome stories to tell way down the road to your kids…"Oh Mommy knew he was ready…")  I think we all know beforehand.  It’s never really a surprise, because you both know this is it.  And most guys act completely bizarre when they’re getting engaged.  Your (FI to be!) is so sweet for putting together a FOLDER for the ring!!  How thoughtful!!  My Fiance wouldn’t take any chances, and insisted that I pick the exact ring.  So…no surprise for me.  But it didn’t make it any less special, and I was still a babbling idiot when he did it.  Again, congrats!

Post # 13
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

If it is a surprise or not will never take away the moment of when he actually proposes.  I was in a similar situation; I knew he had the ring because he asked me to pick out the diamond I wanted and then I designed the ring.  It was just a matter of when, and a few months after he picked up the ring and he still had not proposed, I figured it would be a surprise.  Unfortunatly, on the way home from work one day I was on the phone with my dad and he told me that my fh had called him and asked to marry me.  So when I got home and opened the front door I wasn’t at all surprised to see him down on one knee, candles lighting the room, with a little black box in his hand.  However, it did not change the moment, I was still shocked and I hugged him before I said yes!

Post # 14
756 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m sorry you were disappointed to find about ahead of time…but at least you know he has put a lot of thought and time into it!

My fiance was actually the one who was a little bummed that his proposal wouldn’t be a total surprise. He proposed to me earlier than he had planned to, without a ring. We had spent a really amazing day together and he said, "If I had a ring right now, I would ask you to marry me. Would you?"  Of course I said I would, and we’re talking about the ring, so sometime in the next few months, I expect that he’ll buy a ring and do it "for real." I know he was a little disappointed that it won’t be more of a surprise, but I love that he just asked me because it felt like a good moment for it. And I’m glad I know to expect it, because I don’t always handle surprises well. Our families don’t know yet, although I did tell my mother "I wouldn’t be surprised" if we got engaged this year.

When he does propose, it will be a super special moment that you will remember forever.  Enjoy it! πŸ™‚

Post # 15
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

We talked a lot about marriage, but mostly conceptually – the first that I knew that he was going to ask was one morning over brunch, when he said "Well, I guess you should think about whether you would want an engagement ring, and what that would look like if you did."  So that was subtle, right?  But his first wife never wanted a ring at all – she had a family ring that she intended to use, and he ended up with the feeling that she wouldn’t want anything he could buy her (pretty awful).  So all through the process, he was really looking for some affirmation that what he wanted would be okay.  We picked out the stone together, and had the ring custom made, and I knew when it was finished.  After that, everything was a surprise – I actually had no idea on the day that he proposed, until he pulled out the little box. 

As far as I’m concerned, it was much better that way than being completely and totally surprised.  And from what you say, you wouldn’t have been complete surprised anyway – you had talked about rings; you even knew how he would have the ring made.  You still really don’t know when it’s going to happen, do you?  You just know he’s laying the groundwork.  It could be next week, or it could be this summer.  So I think you will be surprised, and it will be wonderful.  Nothing in your life ever happens exactly like you think it might, but that is part of the surprise – and eventually part of the memory, and the story.  I think so far your story is pretty amazing – your soon-to-be-FI sounds like a wonderful and considerate guy, to go to all this trouble.  Let us know how it turns out!

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