Post # 1
I just got engaged last week and am over the moon happy! This has been a dream and I’m still in shock. I love my ring – it’s perfect, besides being just a tiny bit too big. I took it to the jewlers today (where fiance said it was from) with my warrenty so they could resize it for me. The lady at the counter looked up the account and said looking puzzped, “Hmm… Did he purchase the diamond somewhere else?” And I said, “No. He said he got the ring here. It should all be from here.” She hesitated and continued to look puzzled at the computer. She said she couldn’t find it, and questioned me again if maybe the diamond was passed down from a family member. I said, “No definitely not. He would of told me that, and there’s no one in the family it would of even came from.” She didn’t say anything else and just continued to look in the computer. After some minutes of silence I said, “Did you find it?” She said, “Um. Yeah.” She then took my ring and that was that.
I texted my fiance afterwards and asked if the diamond was from there, and he replied, “No, it’s not from there. Were you able to get it fixed then?” – changing the subject. I replied, “Oh, where is it from?” No response. I came home to him a couple hours later and he says he had falled asleep.
During dinner I asked again, “So what’s up with the ring.. you didn’t get it from there?” He responded, “Okay so obviously I’m aggrivated. They should of never told you that. That wasn’t there place to say. The set is from there.. but the diamond I bought a couple years ago. I bought it from my mom’s friend.” Confused, I asked what he meant. Apparently, his mom’s friend’s son was engaged and broke off the wedding and had to sell the ring. At that time, he decided to buy the diamond from her. He held onto it for the last couple of years.
He asked why I seemed upset. To be honest I wasn’t sure how to feel. I guess I just thought he would of told me something like that and it felt like a secret I wasn’t supposed to know about. I know it wasn’t for his ex girlfriend or anything, but the fact that that diamond was meant for something else… I don’t know.
Am I over analyzing this? When I asked questions, he became really uncomfortable and defensive and told me that it shouldn’t matter wear the diamond came from and that he spent an arm and a leg on the ring.
Would this bother anyone else? I’m not sure how to feel.
Post # 2
I wouldn’t be bothered by this in and of itself, but I would personally be bothered if he bought the diamond before he met me and intended it for another woman.
Post # 3
I don’t think you should be bothered by it! It’s not like he gifted you his ex’s ring or something like that – I’d just enjoy the beautiful ring he got you!
Post # 4
wingingit89 : I think you’re making something out of nothing. It’s not like he stole it. Who cares where he got it or what it was for? It is now your ring, that you said you loved. Don’t get hung up on something that doesn’t/never did concern you.
if we are all honest with ourselves, diamond rings don’t really have any intrinsic value or meaning. We’ve just made it tradition to wear one as an outward symbol of our commitments to one another. Look at it as a symbol of your commitment and nothing more. Whatever it was for in the past is 110% irrelevant.
Post # 5
You’re overreacting and tbh you shouldn’t be making him feel bad. Why does it matter? It’s not like he gave you an engagement ring that he purchased for his last girlfriend. It’s just a diamond and he had it put into a ring for you. You should be a bit more appreciative.
Post # 6
This really isnt a big deal. Even if he bought it from the store, it likely would have belonged to someone else before anyways. eta – many many many of those stones are tradeins, pawns, etc. Some are sent for re-grading so it doesnt look like they were pre-owned, some not.
Post # 7
wingingit89 : His misleading about it would bother me. Also I don’t believe that he just bought the stone and kept it for for a few years. I would wonder who/ what the stone was meant for. He is being so cagey about it…
Post # 8
I wouldn’t be bothered by it. It’s your ring now! Enjoy it.
Post # 9
wingingit89 : you’re def overanalyzing this. I honestly thought you were going to tell us that he bought the diamond for an ex gf (in which case, that seems like you’re just getting sloppy seconds), but i see no issue at all in him buying a diamond at a fair price to hold onto until the day he met the right woman.
Post # 10
The fact that it originally belonged to his friend’s ex-fiance wouldn’t bother me. What would bother me is that he intentionally misled you and tried to hide that fact from you. Why is he defensive about this?
Post # 11
wingingit89 : I sometimes watch the national TV shopping channel jewelry shows just to perve on the bling. One of the presenters says that we are just the custodians of our diamonds and gemstones. They outlive us and are passed on, repurposed etc.
He purchased a diamond for whatever reason a few years ago. Maybe he saw it as an investment and a great buy, maybe he did it to help someone out of a bad spot financially after a break up, maybe he wanted to spend his life with someone even if he didn’t know who it was yet and thought if I have the diamond, the universe will provide the woman who I want to give it to??
Have you actually asked why he bought the diamond? I think you are over thinking this TBH. You are just a custodian of the diamond you got. It came from somewhere in the past and it will go somewhere in the future. Enjoy your ring. It was given to you with love.
Post # 12
Now you all have me thinking… what if the diamond was meant for his ex girlfriend?? We’ve been together for 3 years ago. All he said was he ‘got it a couple years ago’. He was with his ex for 3 years as well, about a year before me.
Would it be wrong of me to ask him that? I’m not sure I’ll feel settled until I know the answer.
Post # 13
How long have you been together? His “few years” could mean 2 things: He bought it before you met or he bought it when he was with you and he knew he wanted to be with you forever since then.
If it’s the latter, then yes, you are definitely overanalyzing it.
Post # 14
- Wedding: April 2017 - City, State
I’d just let it go. Unless you plan on asking him to buy you an entirely new ring, the origin of it is not important. He obviously never proposed to the ex (I assume since you call her his ex gf and not ex fiance) so it was never given to her at any point. The point is that he’s given it to you and up until you got to the shop, you loved the ring.
He can’t change where he got that diamond, so unless you hate the ring now and want an entirely new one, I’d stop bringing it up.
Post # 15
Seriously I’m not sure why you care