I found out the diamond was someone elses..

posted 2 years ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
2569 posts
Sugar bee

I wouldn’t be bothered by this in and of itself, but I would personally be bothered if he bought the diamond before he met me and intended it for another woman. 

Post # 3
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee

I don’t think you should be bothered by it! It’s not like he gifted you his ex’s ring or something like that – I’d just enjoy the beautiful ring he got you!

Post # 4
Member
2256 posts
Buzzing bee

wingingit89 :  I think you’re making something out of nothing. It’s not like he stole it. Who cares where he got it or what it was for? It is now your ring, that you said you loved. Don’t get hung up on something that doesn’t/never did concern you.

 

if we are all honest with ourselves, diamond rings don’t really have any intrinsic value or meaning. We’ve just made it tradition to wear one as an outward symbol of our commitments to one another. Look at it as a symbol of your commitment and nothing more. Whatever it was for in the past is 110% irrelevant.

Post # 5
Member
1080 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

You’re overreacting and tbh you shouldn’t be making him feel bad. Why does it matter? It’s not like he gave you an engagement ring that he purchased for his last girlfriend. It’s just a diamond and he had it put into a ring for you. You should be a bit more appreciative. 

Post # 6
Member
7064 posts
Busy Beekeeper

This really isnt a big deal. Even if he bought it from the store, it likely would have belonged to someone else before anyways. eta – many many many of those stones are tradeins, pawns, etc. Some are sent for re-grading so it doesnt look like they were pre-owned, some not. 

Post # 7
Member
3108 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

wingingit89 :  His misleading about it would bother me. Also I don’t believe that he just bought the stone and kept it for for a few years.  I would wonder who/ what the stone was meant for.  He is being so cagey about it…

Post # 8
Member
5109 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

I wouldn’t be bothered by it. It’s your ring now! Enjoy it.

Post # 9
Member
3453 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

wingingit89 :  you’re def overanalyzing this. I honestly thought you were going to tell us that he bought the diamond for an ex gf (in which case, that seems like you’re just getting sloppy seconds), but i see no issue at all in him buying a diamond at a fair price to hold onto until the day he met the right woman. 

Post # 10
Member
1172 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

The fact that it originally belonged to his friend’s ex-fiance wouldn’t bother me. What would bother me is that he intentionally misled you and tried to hide that fact from you. Why is he defensive about this? 

Post # 11
Member
4535 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

wingingit89 :  I sometimes watch the national TV shopping channel jewelry shows just to perve on the bling.  One of the presenters says that we are just the custodians of our diamonds and gemstones. They outlive us and are passed on, repurposed etc. 

He purchased a diamond for whatever reason a few years ago. Maybe he saw it as an investment and a great buy, maybe he did it to help someone out of a bad spot financially after a break up, maybe he wanted to spend his life with someone even if he didn’t know who it was yet and thought if I have the diamond, the universe will provide the woman who I want to give it to??

Have you actually asked why he bought the diamond? I think you are over thinking this TBH. You are just a custodian of the diamond you got. It came from somewhere in the past and it will go somewhere in the future. Enjoy your ring. It was given to you with love.

Post # 13
Member
366 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

How long have you been together? His “few years” could mean 2 things: He bought it before you met or he bought it when he was with you and he knew he wanted to be with you forever since then.

If it’s the latter, then yes, you are definitely overanalyzing it.

Post # 14
Member
3530 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

I’d just let it go. Unless you plan on asking him to buy you an entirely new ring, the origin of it is not important. He obviously never proposed to the ex (I assume since you call her his ex gf and not ex fiance) so it was never given to her at any point. The point is that he’s given it to you and up until you got to the shop, you loved the ring.

He can’t change where he got that diamond, so unless you hate the ring now and want an entirely new one, I’d stop bringing it up.

Post # 15
Member
2159 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Seriously I’m not sure why you care

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