Post # 1
I have a bit of a dillema. I came across the reciept for the ring he bought and figured out when he is going to propose….he is insiting we drive 4 hours to the college where we met on our anniversary. The ring was excessively expensive..over $20K. I’m feeling guilty that I know what I know. I want to get him something nice, but without him knowing that I figured it out.
While its not out of the ordinary for us to exchange nice gifts, I’m at a loss. I’ve already gotten him a nice watch but was thinking about getting him a brown one. Is this too obvious? I’ve thought about other ideas but they all seem like they aren’t good enough. I know its not about gifts and he probably could care less, but giving each other gifts is something we like to do because its fun to see the other one suprised and happy. Now that i’ve botched this I’m feeling extra guilty.
Any suggestions are welcome. Thanks!
Post # 3
Honestly I think if you do something FOR him, it kind of takes something away from his big moment. Let him feel he’s pulled this off and let that be his gift. Nothing tops that. Forget the reciept, be surprised and relax, you can do something for him another time. He’s got this one . Enjoy it!
Post # 4
Here’s what you should do:
Not because he bought you a pricey ring, but because you know he’s getting ready to propose! Don’t worry about the money, that was his choice and his alone. Attempting to remain “even” in gifts will just be a headache over time.
I had actually hemmed and hawed this issue (a ring being so expensive with me not giving anything) with my SO for a long time. Finally he just said that life wasn’t even and that I needed to get over it because it was something he wanted to do for me, not because he wanted something nice in return. That being said I am planning on taking him away for a weekend as a “woo-hoo we’re engaged!” trip. Nothing extravagent, but just something for me to say thank you for him doing all the work that goes into a proposal. Maybe something similar would be a good option for you.
Post # 5
Enjoy the moment and the ring. I think it would sadden him to know he put all this thought and effort into the proposal and the ring, and you were not feeling over the moon about it. If you are feeling truly guilty about the cost, maybe it’ll help to know this is probably the largest purchase he will ever make on his own (from here on out) without your input. =)
Post # 6
Thanks for your advise! I ultimately decided to get him something special that we can do together. A surprise ski trip to his favorite place for NYE. He values experiences more and memories are priceless!
The big weekend is coming up in a few days! Next issue. I accidently stumbled upon ‘the box’. He was scrabling getting ready for a business trip and looking for his ipad. I was helping and found it in a laptop bag…he left the bag as he left…and left me alone with it. What would you do? Would you look? It took every ounce of me not to!
I’ve already squashed one surprise I feel I need to leave this one…..but its killing me!!
Post # 7
You do not look. Trust me, it will ruin the moment of surprise. You want to remember the moment you saw it for the first time with him there by your side. Give him the pleasure of seeing your delight and excitement as you see it for the first time. That is the best gift you can give him – and that is the gift he is looking for!
I had an inkling when we went on our weekend getaway- only because my mother landed in the hospital that morning (she was going to watch my kids for us that night) and she still insisted that I go away for the night with him. And a family friend stepped in right away to take my kids for me. Everyone scrambling to make sure I had this night was a bit of a giveaway…
But I didn’t peek, I didn’t act like I thought something was up, I didn’t wonder “is this it?” every moment that he started to speak. I enjoyed the whole thing, tried to soak up every moment, and he surprised me earlier in the evening than I would’ve expected. And it was magical and wonderful and truly happy – and I loved the ring. He had no help from me picking out any part of it and it was perfect. The fact that he spent way more than I expected and that he picked out exactly what he wanted for me – that I was that special for him to take the time and financial resources to get this particular ring for me – that was an amazing gift of love.
Enjoy the moment, enjoy the memory – that will make him (and you!) happy!
Post # 8
omg, i would be so tempted to peak. i’m not telling you to look, but i was the kid who used to snoop for xmas presents.
i think the surprise trip is a great idea. love it.
Post # 9
DON’T LOOK. For me, I know on the day he proposed that he could read it in my face if I had seen the ring before. I’m not good at “acting” surprised. That being said, I’m also not good with surprises and patience. So you, my friend, are between a rock and a hard place! If it were me, I’d keep myself busy and away from the house as much as possible. Good luck!
Post # 10
I already know via the reciept what it might look like ie; size, shape, band…..For the last month since I’ve found the reciept I’ve been googling images as to what it might look like. I’m a little worried I have set my expectations on what it might look like and don’t want to look at all dissapointed. (this is my justification for possibly taking a peek) I’m sure it will be beautiful, but you know how it is when you have your mind set on something.
For now, I’m staying at my place and avoiding going back there until we head out of town for the weekend.
Post # 11
As someone who also stumbled upon the receipt and then proceeded to flip the house upside down to look for it….. don’t do it! Don’t look at it! I regret ruining such a special and wonderful surprise for myself 🙁