(Closed) I gave an option to RSVP via card or website – do I still provide stamps?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should I include a stamp on each self-addressed response envelope for all invitations?

    Yes, it's more polite

    No, what a waste

  • Post # 3
    1692 posts
    Bumble bee

    Guests always have the option to respond how they please.

    If they are adherents to formal etiquette, they will respond in the same manner as the invitation was extended — in this case, by mail. But if they are adherents to formal etiquette, they will do so on their own personal social stationery using their own envelope and stamp.

    Of course when you yourself are following formal etiquette, you do not include an R.s.v.p. card implying that your guests do not own their own stationery, or implying that you consider yourself entitled to issue official paperwork for them to fill out; at most you simply include the reply information in small print on the lower right-hand-corner of the invitation. But nowadays so many enclosure cards are included in invitations that one unnecessary “R.s.v.p. card” is inconsequential.

    So, while best case would have been to forego the waste of the extra card as well as foregoing the envelope and stamp, you are certainly within the bounds of proper formal etiquette by foregoing the latter two.


    Post # 4
    10451 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I wouldn’t. I bet the majority will do it online so a stamp would just be a waste. 

    Post # 5
    2639 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

    I would include a stamp for older relatives who might not want to RSVP online, like grandma.

    I agree that it doesn’t necessarily fall under the umbrella of “etiquette,” but I always think it’s nice to have a pre-stamped RSVP postcard or envelope so that I can put it back in the mail immediately instead of trying to remember to buy stamps before the deadline- people just don’t use the postage system the way we used to.

    Post # 6
    3569 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I said yes, mainly because you want to make more as easily as possible for people to answer in a timely manner. I pay my bills mainly online, so it’s rare that I have stamps laying around.

    Post # 8
    3625 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I offered both options and still included the stamps. I ended up with about 95% of the RSVPs mailed back to me and the rest were online RSVPs.

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