Post # 1
Member
928 posts
Busy bee
Now that the wedding’s so close everyone is piling on negativity and I can’t take it anymore. Every day my mom calls to yell about something, or tell me how much the wedding’s going to suck, and how alot of people won’t show up anyway. His family is supportive but completely disorganized. I feel like we’re being attacked, and like everyone hates us for inconveniencing them with our wedding. I literally get sick to my stomach every time the phone rings now. I just want to marry my best friend. The worst part is I was actually really looking forward to the wedding, and people seem to be reveling in the fact that their criticism has ruined it for me. Like “told you wedding planning is awful, bet you wish you took my advice and eloped”. No, I wish I took my own advice and planned a tiny outdoor wedding with only what we could afford to pay for 100% on our own, not told anyone what we were planning, and had a great day without dealing with anyone elses baggage.
*rant over*
Post # 3
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
I suggest you stop picking up the phone and tell everyone that wedding isn’t up for discussion. What a bunch of aholes!
Post # 4
Member
928 posts
Busy bee
@TwoCityBride: I would love to do that, but then they’ll just show up at our jobs or home. I’m at such a loss for what to do at this point!
Post # 5
Member
54 posts
Worker bee
My heart breaks for you. BUT, we get to share a beautiful wedding date!!! My only advice I have is with every piece of negativity that you hear, think of something positive to counter it.
For example, your mom says how bad your wedding is going to suck and that no one is going to show up anyway. Just remember that the people who are important to you and your FI, as well as the people who love and adore you will be there! Its not about the quantity, but quality. I know that we’re going to have people not show up that said they would, but I know the people who we love and adore and will always be there for us, will be there with us.
Someone telling you that planning was horrible. You’re planning for the day that every little girl looks forward to! Planning has its bad moments, but it will all be worth it!!! If you didnt have to go through the trouble of things, it wouldnt mean so much in the end!
Hug your FI, hug yourself and just remember the day is about you and him, no one else. Dont let anyone bring you down.
HUGS!!
Post # 6
Member
33 posts
Newbee
You know that saying “You can’t choose your family”…the people who love you will be there and that’s all that matters. Try to breathe and concetrate on the positives, you’re going to be married to the person you love! *Hugs*
Post # 7
Member
1719 posts
Bumble bee
*hugs* I had the same problems/criticisms as well. Heck, two days after the wedding, my aunt called and told me she wished I would have done x.y and z. Seriously!
BUT you know what? My husband and I had a blast and that’s all it matters! 
Post # 8
Member
1639 posts
Bumble bee
@VioletSky: If they show up at the job I would say “I’m busy right now. I will talk to you later”.
If they show up at home, don’t answer the door. You were in the “bathroom”.
Seriously, don’t let these people ruin your day. Bully back the bully.
If they say “Bet you wish yo listened to me”, say “Nope, I’m glad we did what we did”.
Post # 9
Member
28 posts
Newbee
You are so close to YOUR special day! Don’t worry about anyone else or what they think, I’m sure when the day comes all you’ll even be thinking about is getting to spend the rest of your life with your best friend! Focus on the positives between the two of you, and give the negatives no notice (I definately understand how hard it is to do that!) I know I’m just on a little bit of a ramble now, but keep looking forward to your wedding, because it’s all about you and your FI 🙂
Post # 10
Member
202 posts
Helper bee
Oh no! That sounds awful! If it makes you feel any better, the days leading up to my brother’s wedding were madness. We all thought it was going to fall apart, but it ended up being one of the best wedding I’ve ever been to. I don’t know what you can do about your mom except just try to ignore her negative comments. Maybe your FI can make you feel better. Have a good cuddle and remind yourself that your both doing all of this because you love each other so much. Good luck!
Post # 11
Member
911 posts
Busy bee
- Wedding: October 2013 - The Down Town Club, Philadelphia
Your wedding is NOT an inconvenience. It breaks my heart when people say that! You aren’t forcing anyone to come, and if people don’t show up, or show up with a bad attitude (btw, your mom sounds like my mom), it STILL doesn’t matter!
The only two people who need to show up are you and your partner. Oh, and the officiant.
Everything else is just gravy.
As for your Negative Nancy mom, my advice is to either hire someone (DOC) to keep your mom busy and out of your hair and/or asssign a bridemaid to keep her busy and out of your hair. I will be doing both.
(((hugs))) for you. Remember to take excellent care of yourself in this time before the wedding. Other people’s drama is NOT your drama, unless you let it be.
Post # 12
Member
928 posts
Busy bee
Thank you all so much, I’m literally tearing up reading your responses. You’re all so kind.
@FutureMrsDavis10132012: Date twins yay!! Thank you for the advice <3
@Nico79: Haha EXACTLY!
@mnp: omg that’s crazy! lol
@LuvMySailor: deflect like teflon – I will try that!
@-pinksparkles: it is very close! i’m counting the days!
@rainbowglitterbride: that’s exactly what it feels like! good to hear your brother’s wedding was beautiful despite the maddness!
@Reeniero: I think people just dont have any idea how much work we’re putting into this and how much the negative comments hurt. There’s a few I wish would have rsvp’d “no” rather than crap on everything. I will definitely take your advice and find a “distraction specialist” lol!
Post # 13
Member
1719 posts
Bumble bee
@VioletSky: I second the comment about hiring a DOC! Have someone who is impartial (no relatives) to help you on the day off. I had one and she was awesome.
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