Post # 1
My fiance and I really want to have our wedding at an airplane hangar at our local aviation musEum. Mama hates the idea. She thinks it’s tacky, un feminine, manly, no way to make it look nice for a wedding. There are planes and cars in there but that goes with our 1940s themed wedding. She literally thinks I’m crazy for wanting to have it there. She said it would totally drag down a wedding and I’d be throwing my money away. She’s old-fashioned and never likes my unique unconventional ideas. I’m so tired of arguing with her I’m about to break. Is there any way I can I her that it can be pretty and fixed up really nice. I think all she cares about is what our family thinks.
Post # 3
@katiecat08: It sounds like you’re paying for it. If you are, I’d tell her not to worry because it’s not her money and this is exactly what your FI and you dream of. It actually sounds like a REALLY cool idea.
ETA: Stop telling her details, too. She doesn’t have to know if it’s not her money. If she asks about something just tell her “OH, I have that taken care of, and it’s amazing.”
Post # 4
@katiecat08: Maybe you could show her pictures of other weddings that have taken place there? Try Googling the venue name plus “wedding photography” and I’m sure you’ll find some real weddings (that look extra nice under the lens of professional photography). That’s what I’ve been doing with my venue search and it really helps to see what some places actually look like during a wedding.
Other than that, if it’s your money, I say just do what you want. She’ll most likely come around to the idea!
Post # 5
@katiecat08: Does the museum have any photos available from weddings they have had in the past? My hometown has a warplane museum, and I was amazing when I saw an episode of Four Weddings where they used that as their venue – it was gorgeous! Maybe some pictures or videos will help your mom come around to the idea by seeing how great it could be.
Post # 6
If you are paying for it, next time she brings it up remind her that she should be relieved she isn’t the one paying for it, then absolutely refuse to entertain anymore discussion about it. If she tries to bring it up again, change the subject, ignore it, whatever.
Post # 7
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
@katiecat08: I agree with PP’s – if you’re paying for it TOO BAD FOR MAMA! Stop discussing venue with her and move on!
Post # 8
If you are paying for it, mama has no say at all.
Sometimes mothers become too opinionated about things that have nothing to do with them.
My mother has learned not to do that with me. It took many times of putting her in her place, but she got the idea.
Post # 9
@katiecat08: As I said on your other almost identical thread, http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/oh-boyhere-comes-the-opinions-of-familythinking-we-should-do-this-and-that#axzz2rLJgWcxv, you need to start acting like the adult you are and stop going to your family for approval.
Post # 10
She plainly asked me why I want the MusEum. I told her. They have long tables and i told her well get nice table cloths. I’ve been an adult and I keep telling her this Is MY decision. I will be paying for it if it’s reasonable. Ive told her time and time again that I’m an adult and it’s my wedding. She is being childish and ridiculous. And I’m going to make that hangar look great. She has no idea of the potential it has. She just envisions a grey floor saying no-one would be able to hear me speak. Im waiting to hear back from the MusEum board to see if it’ll even work.
Post # 11
It takes two to argue. Stop responding. As Randy from SYTTD says, “If you are old enough to get married, you are old enough to have the wedding you want.”
When your Mom voices concerns, thank her for her input and carry on planning the wedding you want.
Post # 12
‘you know what mom? i’ve thought of alot of these issues and have some solutions in mind. it seems like we’re just not on the same page here – i’ve heard what you have to say, but it’s our money and our wedding. i don’t want to talk about this anymore’
sometimes you have to be blunt!
Post # 13
“Mom; this is where the wedding will be, I’m sorry that you are not happy with this location but it’s what FI and I want”. End of discussion. Don’t argue with her, don’t respond with she tries to bring you down.
Post # 14
@julies1949: +1 This. Totally. You’re not going to convince her, so just own your decision. Stop discussing it with her like she has a say. She doesn’t. If she brings it up, “Mom, I’ve heard your thoughts on this and it’s no longer up for discussion. How’s uncle X/the weather/grandma.” Rinse, repeat.
If she won’t stop, “Mom, I said I don’t want to talk about it. I’m going to go.”
Post # 15
@katiecat08: if you bring it up one more time, you can consider yourself uninvited. :)))))))))))))))))))
Post # 16
@katiecat08: you mom lacks vision…..just have her show up and wow her