Post # 1
I’m not waiting anymore. I give up on waiting.
He’s 30, I’m 27, and we’ve been together for 7 years. He’s the sort of guy who likes to take things slow – it was 3 years before he said he loved me and even longer before I met his Mum, he takes longer in the bathroom than anyone I’ve ever known. But that’s just him. He’d like to wait until everything, absolutely everything is ready before he does anything.
I’ve dropped hints, I get him up dancing to ‘all the single ladies’, I say how nice it would be to have our own house, I slow down whenever we pass a jeweller, I beat on him for calling me “our maud” and “her indoors”. He knows perfectly well what I’m hinting at. Mostly he sticks his tongue out.
But you know what? I’m a person in my own right, I have my own life to live and I don’t need a husband to complete me. He can sit around and wait for for all the planets to be in exactly the right place before he gets up and starts living his life, I have a million and one better things to do.
Stuff the wedding – I’ll have an awesome 30 (and a half) th birthday party, with an awesome dress. There will be cars, and a coconut shy and lanterns and dancing and I won’t be giving up ANY of my dancefloor for casino tables.
He’s nice to have around though, so If he’s lucky, I might still be there when he decides that the moment has arrived.
Post # 3
Good for you! And you never know, that may be the impetuous that he needs. Even though I wasn’t really hinting at any thing (or at least doing it conciously) I thought about getting engaged at lot. As soon as I put it out of my mind, he proposed. Whether or not one impacted the other I have no idea.
Of course, you could propose to him too you know.
Post # 4
((HUGS)) good for you girl!!!! My boyo is the same as yours… just SLOW in everything he does. Didn’t get a first kiss til about 2 weeks of dating, an I love you until about 2 years in, and an engagement? well he is 28, we’ve been together for 5 years and I’m still waiting.
I am going to try and take your outlook on it…..Gotta keep remembering that we are fabulous with or without a ring!!!
Post # 5
Well I have no idea what a coconut shy is, but I like the sound of your 30th bday party! Can I come??
but I see what you mean about needing to move on. YOu’re frustrated. It’s been 7 years and it isn’t like you’ve never dropped a hint before, he practically has your ring size tatooed on his forehead. Maybe you need to take some time apart?
You sound a lot like me, although it only took me about 1 year to get ‘fed up’ which is a totally unreasonable amount of time. I couldnt’ stand dating him anymore, putting my life on hold, not knowing if we were working towards marriage so I told him to move out. I got a ring about 2 weeks later.
Post # 6
Of course you can, moderndaisy!!
A coconut shy an old fashoined funfair game. You throw balls at coconuts to try knock them down. There will be other funfair games too, hook a duck, and hoops etc. Possibly not the one where you have to thread the ring over the wiggly wire though. That’s far too calm!
Post # 7
I think your decision will help speed him up 😉
Post # 8
Men can be really dense. Dont’ be surprised if you tell him this, and he has NO IDEA.
Hinting does not work with men. Assuming they know what you want does not work with men. giving ultimatums…doesn’t work with men (usually) and be careful that you are sure that you will accept no and are able to move on. Because it might happen. Make sure you really want to choose marriage (or potential for..after all, lsoing him does not equat instant groom the next time) over being with him.
When one is dealing with a man, direct approach, calmly and without threats, is best. And after all, what kind of marriage would you have if you are always assuming he knows what you are thinking and you continue to “hint” instead of coming right out with it? You are sure to be in for a lot of disappointment in your life if you expect hinting and nudges and assumptions to get you where you want to be.
If you love this man, talk to him. If you can’t, then you probably shouldn’t marry him anyway.
Then again, he could be a total commitmentphobe… in which case, don’t walk- run.
Post # 9
Hmm…let’s see…you’ve been together 7 years. You sound like a smart, strong, successful woman who knows what she wants. You sound like you would be OK with moving on if necessary.
Why don’t you propose? Take back this situation!!
Post # 10
You go girl! Sounds like youve done all that you can do aside from proposing to him. If he loves you, he will come up with a plan after you move on and get you back with ring in hand!!! Good luck!
Post # 11
I feel your pain, 8 years no ring!
Boyfriend or Best Friend and I were in major rut after so long and him being so slow to commit.
We split for over 3 months after I said I couldn’t wait any longer, he can crawling back and now I feel a proposal is imminent!!!
Keep your head held high and if you never marry him, maybe he will make a nice handbag to have around and make you look good!
Post # 12
When I read that, I just felt like saying “Right On!” Your party sounds wonderful! I need to take a hint from you, my 30th is next year-yikes!LOL
Post # 13
What a good attitude! If it happens, it happens, but why do we stress ourselves out about it so much! just have fun and enjoy life
Post # 14
I hear you, but at the same time I wonder if you’ve had a flat out conversation with him about how you feel. With these type of things, coy hinting may not be the best bet. If he’s slow about everything, perhaps he doesn’t realize how much you want this now and that you are ready. If you really love him, I think you should, at the bare minimum, talk to him about it.
And your birthday sounds like it will be awesome!
Post # 15
I have to agree about the whole hinting thing. I was hinting and hinting at things for what seems like forever. I got fed up and decided to have an actual conversation with him about it. He had NO IDEA that I was hinting at anything. It was a total surprise to him that I even felt that way. Basically, I just said, “I am ready to get married and I would love to be married to you. Something to think about”. Then I dropped it. He proposed 6 months later and we are getting married in 10 days!
Post # 16
Men are dense! That’s all I have to say.