(Closed) I googled "small indian wedding" and broke the internet…

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
1070 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

It’s really up to you and your fiance and entirely depends on what your vision is. What you will quickly learn about weddings is that people will always find an excuse to get offended. Since you can’t invite the entire universe, you will always have to draw the line somewhere. If you don’t invite kids, people will complain. If you invite some friends but not others, people will complain. If you don’t invite old friends of your parents that you have never even met, chances are people will still complain! If the wedding is large, someone is going to bitch that it was too impersonal and they barely saw you, if it’s small then someone will complain that they weren’t invited or they wanted a plus one. Too bad, really, it’s your day, not theirs.

You just have to grow a thick skin and graciously let people know that your budget and/or preferred venue means that space is limited (even if you have unlimited money, that does not mean you are obliged to spend it on your wedding), and let the chips fall where they may. If you think throwing a separate party or dinner to soothe hurt feelings is a good idea, that can work too. However the sort of people who you actually want in your life will usually not be the kind of people who will make your wedding all about them. Personally, I think option 3 would be fine, although be careful with how you phrase it. If you do decide to have a family event after, that may help to smooth things over.

Post # 3
2570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

lonecypress:  I have no suggesions but your title is hilarious 🙂  One of my best friends is Indian and her wedding had well over 500 guests, and the groom is actually from India so most of his side couldn’t make the trip.  And it wasn’t even technically the wedding but a second reception as the wedding was in India.  So I don’t know how to limit your guest list but if you do get drawn into a massive wedding the silver lining is that it’s pretty cool so many people love and support you!  Also lots of presents…good luck!!

Post # 4
915 posts
Busy bee

Hahaha I wouldn’t know how to do this either. If I lived near by family I don’t think I could not invite them. I think they are all good options, and it really depends how traditional your parents are and if it’s worth upsetting them. I would probably just roll with it and invite the extra tbh. 

Post # 5
3246 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Is it really worth offending your less close cousins if they know you have the budget and are the ones choosing the venue?  I could more see getting away with it if you were both Indian, but you may have some racist relatives thinking your husband is taking you away from your culture. (Irrational? Yes. Possible? Possibly). 

I get your pain – I have some awesome second cousins I would want to invite, and some I am really not close to at all. It is hard.

Post # 6
1935 posts
Buzzing bee

I have 56 first cousins and that doesn’t include spouses and their kids, so I hear ya! However I’m not close to 99% of them – family is just too big to remain close, so I was able to invite only the cousins im actually close with without any ruffled feathers. Do you think your not so close cousins would even care that they’re not invited?

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