(Closed) I got engaged at 29 before my 30th birthday. I am getting married at 31

posted 4 years ago in 30 Something
Post # 46
Member
503 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Friendship Plaza

The reason you find a lot of your peers to be in certain trends is because they are your peers. (I know, rocket science πŸ˜‰ ). If you were 35, or 45, or 55, I guarantee you would notice life events that are going on at that time of life. 

The reality is, people get married at all times of their lives – and get divorced too. 

To wit, 

You’re only as old as you feel. Do you feel old? (Feeling old by comparison and insecurity does not count.)

Are you thrilled to be planning to spend the rest of your lives together? then who caaaares?

 

I am getting married (for my second time) at 41 (he proposed on my 40th birthday, and we started making plans shortly after my 39th). The only time I feel old is when I go to my colorist and when I realize people born in 1994 can legally drink.

It really is just insecurity. Man, don’t let anyone be a thief to your happiness. Rock your world, girl!

Post # 47
Member
35 posts
Newbee

I’m 24 and will be getting married next year but I think it’s actually more common for couples to be late 20s or early 30s when they get married. The people who are my age (or younger) and getting married in my area are all people who have been dating their significant other since high school and have already been with them for 7+ years by the time they’re 24. 

Post # 48
Member
641 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
blushingbridelove :  did you go to college and did your friends go to college? A lot of people who go to college or get their masters wait longer. Also where do you live? None of my friends were married before 35. I live in a major city and we all have advanced degrees. Maybe you live in a rural area so maybe that is why. Don’t feel old at all in fact for my friends 31 is young. 

They say that waiting longer sometimes helps people cut down on divorce risks. I know that some people get married too young and feel like they haven’t gotten a chance to date around enough or party or see the world etc

Im 38 and I don’t feel old as a bride. I have a baby face so people at the bridal shops don’t know that I’m in my 30’s. I mean I wish I would have met my Fiance sooner. I was previously engaged to the ultimate time waster guy so that kind of slowed me down. I have to try and get pregnant immediately after we get married which isn’t ideal but it is what it is. 

I do feel like the odd person out bc I’m not having a wedding, a shower, or any of that other stuff. My Fiance proposed without a ring. I don’t feel like a bride a lot of times. My Fiance couldn’t afford a diamond ring so I’m wearing my ancestors ring and he will buy me something for the wedding or after when he has the money.  

Look if I wanted a wedding and bridesmaids I could do it but it just doesn’t appeal to me w the stress and money. Plus my mom and grandma are dead so even planning an elopement is hard without them.  I get too embarrassed being the center of attention and I think for me personally some of these things seem silly/unnecessary. We are going away to a tropical island for an elopement just us two. I told him his family is welcome but he wants it to be romantic and just us. I’m sure it will be fun when we get there. Maybe feeling like a bride isn’t necessary and being married is more important anyway I suppose. 

Post # 49
Member
745 posts
Busy bee

I got married at 32 & I didn’t feel like an old bride. I actually really enjoyed it bc I have been to so many weddings in the past, I knew exactly what I wanted and didn’t want.  It also seemed like when girls got married younger, their mothers had way more input on everything even if they didn’t want it! 

Post # 50
Member
607 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
blushingbridelove :  this question is so weird. You sound insecure and needy. It’s over such a trivial thing too. Literally what difference does it make? Do you feel cheated out of time with your husband to be? Do you feel like a 60th wedding anniversary may not be in the cards? Otherwise I can’t imagine what in the world you’re worried about. 

 To answer your question more directly, it’s a regional thing. Sounds like for your area, you’re older than average age. For my area, you’re right on target or maybe on the young side. I know many 31-34 year old brides. More educated people get married later and have a lower divorce risk. But you’re a 31 year old woman– to answer your question, you’re not at all “too old to get married” (there’s no such thing) , but you are way too old to be this self conscious about doing something differently than others. 

Post # 52
Member
310 posts
Helper bee

You sound exactly like me. I got engaged 2 months before I turned 30, and my wedding date is set for 3 weeks after I turn 31. My fiance and I have lived together for almost 3 years. I don’t feel old at all. I’m actually happy that it happened this way. I can definitely tell you that I’m a different person than I was 5 years ago, and I’m so much more mature and able to handle a marriage today. Congrats! You’re in a wonderful place in your life.

Post # 53
Member
1197 posts
Bumble bee

My husband was reading over my shoulder and goes “is there anyone who got engaged at 29 *after* their 30th birthday?!” Made me lol.

But in all seriousness most of my friends got married 18-22 and I got engaged when I was 28. It felt late to me, comparatively. They all have a few kids now whereas I’ve been living overseas for the last five years. It depends on what you’re looking for out of life. Being a bride in your thirties you have the experience of being in weddings before. You know what works, what doesn’t, and what type of stuff drives the bridal party batty. You have a solid understanding of yourself, your career, etc. πŸ™‚ 

Post # 54
Member
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

View original reply
blushingbridelove :  Agreed! I’m basically a year younger (engaged at 29, the day after I turned 29) and will be married at 30 next year. I think all the pictures I’m seeing are of younger brides, so I can’t help but compare. I’m happy to be getting married at this stage in my life, but looks wise seems a bit harder (I’m more fit than I used to be, but wrinkles are starting to pop up/skin isn’t as glowy etc).

Post # 55
Member
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

You’re fine! Enjoy this time and don’t worry about your age.

In my group of friends, only 1 got married in her 20s (she was 27). The other 3 of us are getting married in our 30s.

Post # 56
Member
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

I got engaged at 29 in August and I just turned 30 two days ago. I will be 31 when we get married and I don’t feel old at all! I know a lot of people who got married in their 20s. Some are happily married, some not so much, and some are already divorced.  I’m happy to be getting married at a point in my life when I am more comfortable in my own skin than ever. I met my fiancé when I was 25 and I think part of what makes our relationship a successful one is that we do things at our own pace and don’t let age, time or other people influence the decisions we make πŸ™‚ 

Post # 57
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

It sounds too young to me πŸ˜‚ but I got engaged at 39 and I’m getting married next week (still 39).  Most of my friends got married in their 20s and are now on their 2nd marriages or in unhappy marriages.  The ones who got married in their 30s are going strong.  I think being an older bride (30+) has let me have the wedding I want and not the wedding my family wants.  Plus I ended up with someone who is truely my sole mate.  Oh my, if I had married the yahoos I dated in my 20s I would be right there with my friends divorced or miserable.  Now I have an amazing man, my fiancé and I both have amazing careers and are financially stable and we can focus on us and our future family with out having to struggle with money.  In the end you can’t change your age.  I certainly don’t think of myself as old even though I’m 39.  Just enjoy your wedding with the man you love. Age is just a number.

Post # 58
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

View original reply
blushingbridelove :  no I completely feel you. I am 27, got engaged last year and due to life happening the wedding has been postponed to May 2019. I will almost be 29 and I got engaged when I was 26. I feel the same that everyone has seems to have gotten married before me and now everyone around me is pregnant. I wanted to be married earlier so I could have a baby and I didn’t want to have children after 30 (personal preference). I feel like it’s down to the wire and it makes me…..idk the word? Bitter? Kind of like fuck it but not really cause I don’t wanna seem like an ungrateful child and I love him but at the same time it’s like what’s the point now? Idk. I try not to think that way tbh and the older you are the more you know yourself and what you want therefore are less likely to get divorced. Yes everyone has gotten married earlier but everyone is also getting divorced before they turn 30 too. So I guess in some ways I’m blessed. Blessings in disguise. 

Post # 59
Member
556 posts
Busy bee

I’m exactly the same as you. Got engaged at 29 and will be getting married when I’m 31.

However, sorry to say but I’m not with you on feeling old. You wanna come and live in Spain. People here have said I’m young to be getting married. Haha. 

In my closest friendship group there are 7 of us, all of us are 29/30

2 are married 

1 is divorced (now in a new relationship)

I’m engaged 

2 are in relationships 

1 is single

we all move at different paces πŸ™‚

My 20s were for moving abroad, going out, traveling, dating different people, being selfish and thinking only about what I wanted to do. Haha.

I wouldn’t have it any other way πŸ™‚

Post # 60
Member
2214 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

The average age I reckon in New Zealand to get married is late 20s but higher in the city. I’m 32 & getting married in 3 weeks. Would’ve liked a few years to spend married & travelling before kids but that’s not possible. 

The topic ‘I got engaged at 29 before my 30th birthday. I am getting married at 31’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors