I got engaged without a ring

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 2
373 posts
Helper bee

1. I do not look down on people without an engagement ring. I just assume they didn’t want one.

2. Yes, I felt as though I need a ring to be engaged. It’s more of a cultural thing for me and it was always a general desire of an idea that I also like, but I can objectively see how unnecessary it is.

3. Yes, I am obsessed with my engagement ring because I think it is really pretty. But, I would be ‘obsessed’ with anything that I own that is meaningful to me and pretty enough.

Post # 3
799 posts
Busy bee

No I don’t think it’s necessary! As long as you both are on the same page and you’re genuinely happy with just being engaged and about to marry your SO then screw the nay Sayers!!! 

Congrats By The Way 😁

Post # 4
1737 posts
Bumble bee

I’m in the don’t need a ring to be engaged boat. I think to each his own. The marriage isn’t about the ring, and a $30k ring isn’t going to make a marriage any more solid than a plain gold band. 

Post # 5
7806 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

A ring is just a symbol of a commitment. For some it’s an important symbol, for others it’s a great excuse to get a fabulous piece of jewelry. 

I have a number of friends who chose one or more diamond bands as their engagement rings because a traditional engagement ring didn’t suit their lifestyles. They are no less married. I did the same this time around, though once all the kids are done with college I may add a solitaire. 

At the end of the day the commitment is what matters and you don’t need a ring to have that.

Post # 6
1047 posts
Bumble bee

My husband proposed w/o a ring. Not that he didn’t want to get me one, he just wasn’t comfortable picking something out fearing I wouldn’t like it. It took me 4mos to finally pick something I loved. 

Husband did put pressure on me to pick a ring as I think he got flack from his family. If I recall, they were also saying stuff like we weren’t really engaged if I didn’t have a ring. I didn’t feel that way AT ALL. 

Post # 7
590 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

Nope I don’t think you need a ring at all. My sister got engaged without a ring because my BlL wanted it to be a total surprise and he figured they could get the ring later. The actual proposal was really elaborate and romantic even without a ring (best engagement story I’ve ever heard)!  My sister isn’t a jewelry kind of gal anyways and ended up not getting an e-ring and just wears her plain wedding band. A lot of people gossiped about how weird it was that they didn’t have a ring but it just didn’t suit them. 

Post # 8
9076 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

No, it’s not a necessity. I wouldn’t have needed a ring to get engaged, either. I feel that if two people decide they want to get married, they’re engaged. Ring or no ring.

Post # 9
990 posts
Busy bee

Fiance proposed without a ring. I still consider us engaged even though there is nothing on my finger to indicate it. We are still looking at rings (I’ve shown Fiance what I want and told him it needs to be custom made, but he’s still trying to see if he can find it already made…le sigh). I did get some odd looks when I went wedding dress shopping, though, with no ring on my finger – oh well!

Post # 10
891 posts
Busy bee

Back home, some got married without a “proper proposal”. It was more of “Let’s get married.” “yeahh sure”. Wedding preparations begin. Parents meet. Agree on wedding plans, banquet and dates. Select bridal packages. Take pre-wedding shots. Send out wedding invitations. Apply to register for marriage at the national registry office. Sign the marriage cert. Legally wedded. Cultural ceremony. Banquet dinner. Done. Married. No engagement rings involved. Or.. it could be there’s an engagement ceremony, where parents discuss about dowry, gifts, etc. Sign the agreement in the presence of the village head, tribal head, etc. Exchange engagement rings (mostly no stones involved, recently stones become more popular). Then proceed from selecting bridal packages forward..

Your husband is adorable and protective of you. I think you married the right man. Congratulations!


Post # 11
2630 posts
Sugar bee

People are way too obsessed with the ring these days! I did want a simple ring, but I didn’t get it until we’d been engaged for 6 months out of sheer laziness.

I understand that some people love jewelry, and others are attached to the cultural symbolism, but there’s so much pressure for everyone to put a ton of importance on it. It was the first thing everyone asked me when I got engaged and I could feel the snide glances and confused judgements when I couldn’t produce one to their pleasing.

I actually think that’s part of why I put off getting one so long as well – stubborn spite tongue-out

Post # 12
239 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

1. I do not look down on people without an engagement ring. No one can really know what went on behind closed doors. Maybe they didnt want/need one (such as yourself), or maybe it wasnt in the budget, maybe they were saving for other things. There are too many unknowns to be judgemental.

2. I am not traditional by any means, but the one thing I did always picture myself having was an e-ring. I actually chipped in, and was involved in the design process for my ring.  Very traditionally-untraditional…just like me lol. I didnt even go with the usual diamond, I chose a pink spaphire.

3. I am obsessed with anything that is shiny…just like a fish lol. I think people take pride (not that it’s right or wrong) in their possessions, and an e-ring is a prized possession for a majority of poeple. A good example I can give is men and cars/motorcycles. Like why are they facinated with that stuff. My boyfriend does not understand my jewelery obession just like I dont understand his fascination with anything Star Wars.

Post # 13
357 posts
Helper bee

I think you generally need a ring and/OR a proposal for an engagement to be “real”. For example:

In your case: you agreed not to get a ring, but your DH proposed to you = real engagement

Other stories above about men proposing without rings because they wanted their fiancee to pick out the ring = real engagement 

My boyfriend and I have agreed that we are getting married but there has been no ring and no actual proposal, just a conversation and an understanding. I would not call myself “engaged” at this point. Knowing him, there will not be an actual proposal, just going to get the ring, at which point I will consider myself engaged. So in my case, I do think the ring is a necessary symbol of the engagement (in the absence of a real proposal). 

However, I am sure there are people who never had formal proposals and never had rings who went on to get married, so that’s not to say in every case ever you need to have a ring and/or proposal to be engaged. But in generally, culturally, it would seem very presumptuous to call yourself engaged with no ring and no proposal. 

Post # 14
2047 posts
Buzzing bee

I don’t think  a ring is a requirement to be engaged or married. The commitment makes it real not the ring. I interchange all kinds of rings on my wedding finger,I don’ think it makes me any less married than when I wear my original set. 

Post # 15
2122 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Obviously, it’s not necessary. Being engaged is simply deciding to be married and planning some kind of legal commitment. There is no “officially” engaged status. You’re engaged if both of you say so, with or without a ring.

I’m not obsessed with engagement rings, but I definitely wanted one and it was very important to me as a symbol of our next step in life together.

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