(Closed) I got groped at a club

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
722 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

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@cls9q:  1+ yes this! its the best advice! i have pepper spray and taking a class in self defense made me feel so powerful.

i agree with not going out to clubs at night, those are always more dangerous places.

Post # 33
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

You’ve already recieved a lot of great advice from PPs. I hope you feel better soon. So sorry these things happened to you 🙁

Post # 34
964 posts
Busy bee

Yeah. I’m a bartender. Oddly, I’ve gotten lots of comments but not once in over 30 years has anyone actually put a hand on me. I have a look in my eyes that pulls them up short. that and when they make a move/ appear to be working up the nerve to do something I flat-out tell them *If you touch me I will drop you*. Again, one look in my eyes and they back off. I’m hardcore though.

I think a way to get your power back is to pursue this as far as you can. Don’t just let it go. Talk to management, drum up support, talk it up, really push with the cops and so forth. Don’t just let it go. Also, do whatever you need to to get some counseling for yourself to help you deal with the trauma you’ve experienced. Put some energy into finding resources for yourself. I think that putting your thoughts, time and energy towards healing yourself and geting justice is a lot better than withdrawing and shrinking within yourself.

And I have to say, to the poster who said to maybe *avoid those kinds of situations*, I understand the knee-jerk reaction to say that. but it really does more harm than good. The OP was robbed at gunpoint right near her home. How is she supposed to avoid being near her home? another poster had her crotch grabbed at a hocky game. Do we as women avoid going out to hockey games? Or maybe all sporting events? Or just arenas period? Or is it crowds that are the problem? Well, it’s none of those things. It’s sexually-assualting males that are the problem and they are everywhere and cannot be avoided. they are not just in places where alcohol is served. It does is huge disservice ot women to perpetuate the notion that there is somehow, someway that we can avoid having this kind of thing happen to us. The only we we can do that is to irradicate the sexual assualters. period.

Post # 35
313 posts
Helper bee

If someone touches me, they had better be prepared to lose their hand. I’m not going to wait around and yell “rape” until someone else comes to punch the guy out. OP, I’m so, so sorry that you had to go through this. You were PERFECTLY within your rights to punch that jackwagon. I’m sorry that the management was so crappy to you – I’d look into pressing charges, as others have said. I would also look into self-defense classes and perhaps counseling, too. You’ve been through a lot lately. 🙁 Hugs!

Post # 38
964 posts
Busy bee

Okay, well, depending on how much exposure you’re comfortable with I would ramp it up and take it to the next level. go to your local media. your local news stations will probably like this sort of news item and will most likely be willing to keep your identity secret and it would bring pressure to your local police dept and to the bar involved. It’s up to you of course as to whether you feel this would be empowering and give you a feeling of taking things into your own hands or whether you would feel exposed. It’s something to think about. I do think it’s important for you to realize and acknowledge that you do have some power, options and choices here though. That’s important. This is about you and what feels right for you going forward.

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