(Closed) I got ONE present out of a 65 person wedding…. something is off???????

posted 9 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 18
Member
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

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@nonapkns: had another thought – can you find out if anyone gave you a check? and have them look to see if it’s been cashed yet?

Post # 19
Member
23589 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

What a weird situation! Good luck with finding an answer!

Post # 20
Member
3216 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

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@nonapkns: Do you mean a few envelopes are missing as in guests have confirmed they brought them and you don’t have them?  I’d follow up with the person at the reception venue and ask if they saw anything? (You can make it non-accusatory, just say you’re worried and are hoping someone might have seen someone, whether a guest or another staff member.)

Post # 21
Member
3373 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Ouch! That sucks!! I don’t care what you can or can’t afford- everyone can afford (or make) a card. There is just NO excuse for showing up to a wedding without at least well wishes.

I actually only had one very well off couple come to my wedding and not bring a gift or card. I just don’t understand it at all? But that was only one couple. To have a whole wedding and not receive gifts is insane!!

Post # 22
Member
3373 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

After one month you should send out cards thanking guests for coming to your wedding. I’m sure that if the guests gave money, they will know something is wrong and call you up and ask what happened to their check?

Post # 23
Member
4485 posts
Honey bee

Even though times are what they are with the bad economy, people are generally not desperate enough to steal a card or present from someone else. In most cases, it would be clearly evident if that did happen and someone would be around to stop it. Don’t automatically assume that people are out to get you. It is entirely possible that they couldn’t afford to bring anything, so give them the benefit of the doubt and leave it at that. It doesn’t really put you in the best light to ask family/friends what happened to gifts or cards that may never have even been brought.

If someone gave you a check, etc,(which is not common in some social circles) they will contact you when they need to balance their checking account to see if anything is amiss.

Post # 24
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

*Hugs* I hope the gifts and card box turn up soon. If your guests were like mine, they gave cash and checks which went into the card box. If the card box is gone, that is a lot of missing $$$.

Post # 25
Member
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I really hope you figure it out. I know we had about 70 guests and recieved about 10 cards at the wedding and like 5 gifts. So for us most guests came as a couple so that would be 35 “gifts/cards” And we only got 15. A lot of people just cant afford it, I think. Good luck though.

Post # 26
Member
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

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@Ember78:People stealing cards or gifts from a wedding is more common than you think. She definitely should do some checking and not just let it go. I would be really upset as a guest if I gave her something and then it was stolen. If contacted soon enough, if people did send checks (we got quite a few at our wedding) they can cancel them if they haven’t gone through yet.

That’s why I suggest that other relatives do some checking – mom can ask her close friends and relatives without it being judgemental if they didn’t bring anything. Sometimes too, they might know what other people were planning on bringing. I know my mom knew what my great-aunt was giving and Mother-In-Law knew what a co-worker was bringing.

Post # 27
Member
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

The coordinator at my venue told us that sadly, it usually someone not attending your wedding that might try to grab cards.

I would gently ask your Mother-In-Law (or maybe have your DH ask her) just to see if people put cards in the box or left gifts.

One time, I went to a wedding and forgot the card in my hotel room. So the week following the wedding, i put the card in the mail to send to the couple.

No joke- the bride called me (while she was on her honeymoon) saying they were going through the cards and didn’t see one from me and my Fiance and asked if we had given them one. It was BEYOND RUDE. So…just be sure to ask nicely 🙂

Post # 28
Member
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

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@PinkPinstripes: DH’s cousin publicly posted on a relative’s FB wall to ask when they were sending them their card. O.o

Post # 29
Member
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

my sister took really good care of our card box..when it go filled up she put them out in the glove compartment of our cars..so we didn’t have any missing.  If you had the card box unattended, i think it’s a possiblity that the cards might get taken.  Times are tough and we heard crazy stories about random stranger going to the wedding and just taking them from the cardbox…you obviously wouldn’t notice and most often enough..the cards will have cash/checks! Hopefully you’re able to track them down. 

Post # 30
Member
3373 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m so sorry, but I don’t think it’s the economy? What about your grandparents and close relatives? My mom would be livid to know that her sisters/brothers didn’t give gifts. 

Maybe this is weird but we opened our gifts in front of parents and grandparents and my mom notices how much everyone gave so she can give that much for their children’s weddings. This sounds awful as I’m typing it… but I know the amounts I received for graduation were the same that my mom had given their kids.

Post # 31
Member
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Did you have a gift table/card box set up at all?

I would discreetly ask around your close family if they saw anyone bringing in gifts/cards when they arrived. If you have eyewitnesses to people bringing things in that weren’t there later, then you have a thief on your hands and can ask around further. If nobody recalls anybody dropping anything off when they came in, then you’ll probably just have to leave things be.

A lot of people these days don’t bring gifts to the actual wedding, though. We had maybe three guests bring wrapped gifts to our wedding, and a handful of cards; everything else was sent or given to us before or after the wedding.

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