(Closed) I got ONE present out of a 65 person wedding…. something is off???????

posted 9 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 32
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

There are so many posts like this right now. Are people stealing card boxes and gifts, or are people really that cheap? How does your registry look? I tend to order something online from people’s registry and have it shipped. Sometimes, I wait until a few days before to do it. I agree with the bees, I would ask your mom.

Post # 33
Member
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

That’s really weird. I hope everything gets sorted out!

Post # 34
Member
2657 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Wow, sounds insane. I hope you figure out whats going on.

Post # 35
Member
284 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Something similar happened to us, although not as drastic. There were a few people that I KNEW would have brought a card, if nothing else—I made phone calls and said “it appears as though there are a number of cards missing, I want to let you know in case you put a card into the card box with a check, there is a possibility that it got into the wrong hands” luckily with that, we found that some people left gifts/cards at home and were putting them in the mail. We were missing 2 I think, they both had cash, so it sucks, but I was more happy that their bank account numbers weren’t floating around somewhere.

Post # 36
Member
1056 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’d be PISSED if there were only two cards from that many people.  But, glad things seem to be turning around.  Good luck hope you recover/find things!

Post # 37
Member
376 posts
Helper bee

i didnt read through all the posts but im in the boston area and around here you bring physical gifts to the shower and money (a card) to the actual wedding. so no physical gifts is NOT alarming. but to just have 2 cards is NOT right at all. Even if someone didnt want to or couldnt give money or a check then they would have at the very least given a card. i hate to say it but it seems as if someone has taken them 🙁

Post # 38
Member
316 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I agree with PP’s to ask around. If I gave you a gift and it was stolen, I’d be crackin’ skulls! Tongue out I hope everything works out!

Post # 39
Member
5117 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’d ask around as well, especially if one card is already MIA when you know that the person gave one. This will give a great way into the convo for your mom/MOH, whoever is doing the asking around. “We’ve unfortunately confirmed that at least one gift was missing. If you brought one to the wedding, please let me know so that I can review Bride and Groom’s list to make sure that they recieved it or that a check can be canceled.” I really don’t think your guests will mind, especially those that gave a check or gift that’s missing! (And those that didn’t give anything at all will have to just own that fact.)

Post # 40
Member
2657 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@nonapkns: Have you found out what happened yet??

Post # 41
Member
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I just saw a story on the news yesterday that made me think of this thread…

Two women were arrested for wedding crashing..and they were crashing specifically to steal cards/gifts.

You never want to think something like that would happen or that someone you know would do that but it could be a complete stranger. Which is just sad, really.

Post # 42
Member
5789 posts
Bee Keeper

OP, I hope you’ve gotten some answers by now. It DOES happen that cards are stolen from weddings, and that’s exactly why it’s suggested that the container you choose for them is pretty large and conspicuous so that noone walks out with it, or one that isn’t easily reached into or can be locked. Birdcages, open baskets or suitcases are NOT good ideas for your cards. Nobody likes to think someone would steal from them, but you can’t know all the staff or all of the random people walking through your reception at any given minute. Its a shame you have to be suspicious of people, but those stories you hear happen to real people who never thought it would happen to them.

I don’t know why this ‘one year rule’ even exists for gift giving, but it’s a myth. Its more like a 3 month rule, so you may still receive things in the mail. There are also areas of the country where people DO only give shower gifts and think that covers both events, so that’s also a possibility for some of your guests.

Presumably, the people invited to your wedding are close family and friends, so why in the world would they think it’s rude for you,your Mom or IL’s to question the loss of a card or gift? If they DID write a check, there’s a charge to stop payment on it, so its costing them money too. Why wouldn’t they want to know that?

I hope you’ve gotten some answers by now!

Post # 43
Member
2657 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Any new news?

Post # 44
Member
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I hope you got to the bottom of it!  To think someone would steal at your wedding… 

If I felt things may have gone missing, I would definitely ask my closest friends and family.  You don’t have to ask about amounts or gifts, but simply ask if they left a card or something at the gift table.  You could even admit you have a suspicion that you didn’t receive all your gifts.  By the way, at the end of the night when your friend came and you showed her the gift table, were there any gifts there?  People usually drop them off soon after they arrive, so you should have noticed if there was something in the box or not.

Sometimes you have to watch out for eveyone… uninvited guests, unknown +1s, or even the catering or venue help.

Post # 45
Member
348 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

View original reply
@PinkPinstripes: wow that is terrible. our venue strongly suggetted having a safe card box. we are making our own and I didn’t really think of needing to have it securely close, i thought the lid would be fine, but now I think I will have to make sure it cannot be opened until we are ready to the following day.

Post # 46
Member
2031 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I know this is an older post, but if you’re still missing cards from people you think would have brought them, you could ask them in a way that wasn’t rude.  When my friend got married I was in such a rush I left his card at home, over an hour away!!  I did tell him that night, but in the excitement and champagne he had completely forgotten and a week or two later emailed me to say he was SO sorry that he lost my gift between the reception and home.  I hadn’t mailed it, because it contained cash, so I was waiting for him to come home to give it to him personally…we cleared it all up and no feelings were hurt by wording it this way instead of saying ‘Did you bring me a gift?’

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