(Closed) I got put in charge of planning my own shower, Help!

posted 4 years ago in Parties
Post # 2
2363 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Don’t have one 

Post # 3
7972 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

You don’t need to have a shower. If you just want to celebrate with the women in your life you may plan a bridal luncheon, typically not a gift-giving event, closer to the wedding. 

Post # 4
3085 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

View original reply
Geekchick42 :  Sorry bee – I hate to tell you this, but you should cancel. It’s incredibly poor taste to throw your own bridal shower.

Post # 5
13672 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I’d cancel or postpone, too. You don’t throw your own shower. 

Post # 6
560 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

I would either host a bridal tea – petit fours, finger sandwiches, sundresses and hats- or, have a ladies pampering day where you all go to a local salon or have face masks and nail polish at someone’s house. If you tell everyone you want to spend quality time with your closest female friends before the wedding, that will go over much better than trying to throw yourself a shower.

Post # 7
5641 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

Host a luncheon if you want to share with your closest before the wedding.  If no one can throw you a shower you just don’t have one.

Post # 8
261 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Sorry bee, I’d cancel it too. A bridal luncheon or “girl’s day out” type event would be just as fun and way less stress! Have a spa day, a picnic in the park, or a bonfire. Or all of the above! You can still play games and invite your closest friends and family members, but it will be much more casual, easier to plan, and won’t involve gifts – some people will still probably get you a gift, but it won’t be a gift centered event.

Post # 9
30393 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You can host anything but a gift giving event in your own honor: brunch, luncheon, afternoon tea. No shower.

Post # 10
182 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

I’m focusing on the part where you said “I know brides aren’t really supposed to throw their own showers, but I was really looking forward to one.” You can definitely have another type of get-together with close friends and family, but if it’s a shower you want, it’s a shower you should get.

However, I don’t think you should plan anything (other than considering a theme, guest list, etc). This is something your bridal party should plan, and in my experience, brides have a ton else to focus on so if you don’t have to add to that list, don’t. Do you have more than the one bridesmaid who offered to help? Honestly, it doesn’t matter if she doesn’t know where to start, that’s what the internet is for. At this point, I’ve been in three bridal parties and helped gather all the bridesmaids together to plan a bridal shower. The first time, I had no experience but we had each other to help divvy tasks and bring the shower into fruition. All three times, the bridesmaids got together and planned the shower. It’s important to figure out a guest list and based on that, a venue can be chosen (could be somewhere rented or even someone’s home if it can accommodate the group).

After the venue, pick a date, decide a theme, figure out food, figure out decor, pick out invites, make a registry (to be included on the invite), send out invites, and prepare for the day! Traditionally, your involvement is super limited. If you want to be involved, totally your choice. If you don’t, ask if your bridal party can come together and plan the shower. This is an exciting (and busy!) time for you, and if this event is something you really want, I hope you can find a way to have it.

Post # 11
720 posts
Busy bee

Host a luncheon at a restaurant for your nearest and dearest ladies.

Also condolences to your sis and SIL family that’s rough. 

Post # 12
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Have to agree with PP’s here: throwing your own shower is super cringe-y.

If I were invited to a shower thrown by the bride in her honor, I feel like I’d be less inclined to give a gift (or at least, a nice one). 

I’d either go with doing the bridal luncheon/high tea/or whatever other activity (bonfire, paintball, whatever your group likes to do) or have your bridesmaid throw your shower. That way it’s more appropriate and won’t make guests feel uncomfortable. 

Post # 13
540 posts
Busy bee

If it was me and I really wanted to have one… I would probably secretly plan it myself and pretend that my bridesmaid who offered to help was hosting…

Post # 14
234 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

View original reply
patchm :  This kind of made me giggle inwardly. It’s not a terrible idea. The bridesmaid who offered to help could be the official host, even if you’re planning much of the details yourself. I agree you can’t be the host at your own shower though. If you don’t care about gifts, you could call it something else and still have a get together where you host, as long as you’re not asking for gifts. 

Post # 15
1425 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

View original reply
Geekchick42 :  just do a simple dinner/get together with friends at a local pub. Don’t kill youself. 

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