(Closed) i got rid of my bridesmaid two weeks ahead of my wedding – RELIEVED

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
990 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

good for you. I hope your day leaves you with many wonderful memories

Post # 4
Member
1140 posts
Bumble bee

Good for you. We are having 2 attendants…our best friends…to avoid the bridesmaid drama. lol. Isn’t it great to feel all the weight lifted off your shoulders?

Post # 5
Member
2577 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

* claps *

 

I heartily wish I had done what you did prior to my wedding. 

Yay for taking power back 🙂

Post # 6
Member
8441 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Honestly from reading your posts you life is full of drama from all kinds of sources and when I read that I kind of look for the common denominator (ie you). So yeah I definately on the team that thinks you handled it wrong and in a very unfriend like manner.

Sorry but I really hate posts that are all I did something unpolite/rude/mean/immature (pick whatever adjective fits the right circumstances) so congratulate me.

Post # 7
Member
418 posts
Helper bee

I hope that by getting rid of your uncompromising Bridesmaid that your wedding day is everything you wanted it to be! Congratulations on getting married!

Post # 8
Member
1828 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@j_jaye:I just searched through her posts from the last 10 months because I was curious as to what you were talking about and every one was pertaining to this same bridesmaid.

Normally I would say this would be wrong but considering the problems that you have had from the beginning I would agree with you this time. You obviously weren’t happy and it sounds like all she wanted was some business.

Post # 9
Member
8441 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@Luayne: OP had a list of things she hated about her wedding and the Future Sister-In-Law and other BM’s were there as well as being annoying or doing displeasing stuff.

Post # 10
Member
1828 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@j_jaye: Yeah I read that…there was one thing about Future Sister-In-Law and one thing about Maid/Matron of Honor not helping which seems to be a pretty common complaint from almost anyone on this site. Heck, I could say a few things about my friends and family too but at my age, I don’t mince words and tell them straight up.

This one Bridesmaid or Best Man though was a consistent issue through every one of her posts though and that is a huge difference. Too often people put up with things just to keep the peace or because of what others will think when it is the other person being passive aggressive or sometimes downright abusive. This Bridesmaid or Best Man was not nice and she was not happy with her in wedding so had every right to say that it was done.

Post # 11
Member
94 posts
Worker bee

So glad that you took control of your wedding and happiness. People can judge all they want about the possible rights and wrongs in this situation – Don’t listen to any more negativity! I think you have had enough. I hope you have a really wonderful wedding day and now you can relax and enjoy yourself!

   

Post # 12
Member
94 posts
Worker bee

@j_jaye:  I really don’t think that she asked to be congratulated at any point in her post. She was updating the situation – as she had written about this problem a few times. Yes, she announced she had achieved the impossible. For all you know she had felt that to do this was impossible….and I don’t mind writing my congratulations to her for having the guts to do it.

    From reading her post I think getting a pat on the back or congratulations is far from her mind. At no point in the OP did she ask for validation of the choice she made. To me the OP reads as relief that she has finally got control over a situation that she was finding intolerable. 

  

Post # 14
Member
1828 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@ebotlsrm:‘I might have done something unspeakable, but I feel good because it is something that is GOOD FOR ME.’

And that is why it is a good thing…sometimes we need to do things for our own emotional well being no matter what anyone else says. This situation was unhealthy and was a major contributor to your unhappiness when dealing with a time in your life when people should be happy for you and contribute positively (although that doesn’t often seem the case).

The life lesson in this is that it is ok to set boundaries and to call people on them when they have crossed them. This is a process that can take a long time to learn (some people never do) especially to lay out in black and white and say ‘This is the line you crossed’ so I’m removing myself from the situation. It has taken me 20+ years and an abusive marriage to learn. I no longer allow toxic people/relationships in my life (including my own sister). I find people can be critical about it but it is mostly because they are intimidated by the fact that you are taking control of your own life and I’m not so sure they know how.

 

Post # 15
Member
8441 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@Luayne: I agree with what you said in your last paragraph but the OP really should have done this 10 months ago! Instead she led this girl on with false hope about a friendship that didn’t even exist to the OP! Taking control of your life also means learning how to treat other people!

The topic ‘i got rid of my bridesmaid two weeks ahead of my wedding – RELIEVED’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors