(Closed) I got the dreaded waiting question!!!

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 32
Member
14 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: The Rusty Pelican, Tampa, FL

@southsun:  awesome 🙂

 

I have been pretty lucky, no one has really asked me or my SO. But my elderly relatives keep on asking, “So when are you all getting married? I am not going to live forever!!”… I just brush it off with a smile and laugh. In my family there hasn’t been a wedding in 20 years (not including distant cousins). I have multiple first cousins, only one is married… so I think people are just excited about the prospect for a good ol’ party. 

Post # 35
Member
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015 - Old Mill Boathouse

I have to say I love my one co-worker (who I am very close to) for how she checks in with me to see if it happened after every holiday/birthday/vacation is she just subtley checks my finger.  I always catch her and we laugh about it. I keep telling her she’d be one of the first people I called but still, every time.

 

Mt other co workers though, I get that question at least once every three months!

Post # 36
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2016

There’s a difference between well-meaning relatives who ask the both of you when the wedding is in a joking manner and people who ask the woman and give her the side-eye or tsk,tsk that it hasn’t happened yet. For the first, I say joke along. For the second, I’d say they have their own issues – tell them it will happen when the time is right. “In the fullness of time.” Or you could turn it around on them and ask why they aren’t married yet…or have a baby yet…or bought a house yet…

You’re not getting engaged to make other people feel better. I’ve gotten it from relatives my whole life – some who had kids while they were in high school or are currently divorced or on their second marriage. They want you to follow the prescribed series of events, but no one’s path is the same. I tell them that I decided to skip my first marriage.

My Boyfriend or Best Friend and I are going to Hawaii with some of my family. A few of my friends have asked if we’re going to get married while we’re there. I said, “I’m not going to say No, but we don’t have plans to get married right now.” I’d be okay with eloping, but I don’t think now is the best time. Now getting engaged…I wouldn’t mind that. 

Post # 37
Member
1643 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

@mrsaxachef:  EUGH, so rude!  I often reply something along the line of “You’ll have to speak to the boyf about that, he’s got it under control” but I want to answer eff off you arse because I’m anxious enough about this!

@southsun:  YES!  Well said.  I have been asked so many times, and I doubt he’s been asked once.  I may ask him actually, that’s such a good point.

Post # 38
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee

I got this question TWICE last week! I just laughed and said, “why are you asking me? Ask him! Want me to propose to myself?!” This is so annoying!! If they want us to be engaged so badly then why the hell won’t they give us a ring, lol!

Post # 39
Member
498 posts
Helper bee

@mrsaxachef:  ugh< iget asked this and it annoys me when people are asking just to get laughs like at a friends wedding.

I just said it’s nice to see all of you and walked away.

To the “I thought you’d be married already”, I answer in my best Downton Abbey impression: Oh, did you?   Usually people get the hint but there are a few souls out there that really struggle with common sense. SMH

Post # 39
Member
505 posts
Busy bee

 

mrsaxachef:   my favorite I used even after getting engaged before we had the ring on my finger was “Oh m. Ring? WWell he asked, but I said no! There is no ring”

Post # 40
Member
505 posts
Busy bee

 ArmyBeee:   yes I luv it. I give that a #1 everyone should follow the Where is the ring, when’s the wedding, did he propose yet with your, “if you want it so bad are you giving US a ring?” Lol priceless

Post # 41
Member
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I know I am a little late on this blog, but I had a bit of an addition to this and was curious if anyone had the same issue. I have been with my boyfriend for almost three and a half years. I have been asked by an old co-worker several times when I am getting engaged. After responding with “when he asks” or “that is up to him” she would respond with “don’t rush it, it will happen when it’s supposed to, you’re still young, you have plenty of time, etc.” I felt like telling her “Ummmm excuse me, I am not rushing anything, in fact, I am merely waiting patiently. You are the one who likes to point out the fact I am not engaged on a regular basis.” Sigh. People can be infuriating.

Post # 43
Member
1355 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Modern, Classic, Fun

new to this thread too but I feel you on getting asked this awrful question. Story of my life! I have a few responses depending on my mood/intentions of the person asking. In my opinion people ask this question for two reasons 1. because they are genuinely asking  and it comes from a good place and 2. because people just want to be nosy.

 

My responses are either “I don’t know……you should ask him!” and then I laugh it off and changed the subject (my snarky response) or if your example if my dear 77 year old Nana asks, I respond simply with, “we both know we want to get married and spent the rest of our lives together, so there is no rush. but it’s definitely in our future” — which then my sweet little nana says “that’s so great honey, I’m happy for you!” I love how non judgemental and awesome my nana is. She rocks 🙂

Post # 44
Member
2847 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I used to just say, ask SO….

Post # 45
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I get this comment all the time. Most recently by my mother asking when the SO is going to “Make an honest woman out of me,” especially since we have been living together for the past 9 months. I just told her “when we get transported back to the 1920s when people used to say ‘make an honest woman out of her.'”

I love my mom, but she listens to my grandma way too much sometimes, lol

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