(Closed) I got the dreaded waiting question!!!

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 46
13 posts

I feel like I get this question all the time at work.  I’m the only unmarried female at the office (there are some unmarried men, but I’m the only woman).  The other women at work are constantly asking when I’m going to get engaged since I’ve been with my SO for 4 years now.  In fact, my boss congratulated me on something work-related last week, and one of the women came over asking what happened… when I told her, she said she thought I was going to be showing her a ring.

I’ve also got another pair of friends who have been together for 3 years and all our other friends have bets going as to who will get engaged first.  I usually don’t mind, but sometimes that sort of thing starts to sting a little.

Post # 47
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I don’t understand why people think it’s acceptable to say that. I know how you feel, I dated my fiancé for 10 years before we got engaged. We had people asking for years and it bugged me to no end.  If I was that desperate to get married, I would have but the timing wasn’t right.  It got so bad, when we were still dating my fiance’s 80 year old grandmother told him she didn’t care anymore if we got married, just to give her grandchildren.  Awkward!

Post # 48
44 posts

Ugh, this question is the worst. I myself have been guilty of asking in the past–I didn’t know better. Although to be fair, I remember when I would ask friends and family this question, it wasn’t to be rude or snarky. It was moreso because I thought they were a fantastic couple and figured marriage was on the horizon for them. I always try to remind myself that’s where people are coming from now that I’m on the receiving end of the question. <br /><br />My normal response is usually, “Talk to him about it! haha” or “I’m working on it!” or something like that. I always try to stay lighthearted and then change the topic. After 3 years of dating, I’ve started to get used to it.

Post # 49
45 posts
  • Wedding: November 2014

I don’t believe people actually ask this question! If it’s just someone who genuinely doesn’t know how tacktless the question is (an older relative or something), I’d just smile and dismiss it. If you’re going the snarky route, I’d suggest: 

1. Really? I’m sorry we’re not working from your timeline. 

2. Gasp and stare at your left hand in disbelief, exclaim “Oh my gosh! It must have fallen off!…Let me know if you find it.” Smille and walk away. 

Seriously, so sorry people even ask that question/share that thought out loud. Filter, people filter! 

Post # 50
793 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Usually I had just said we are waiting for me to graduate with my bachelors ( which was true )

One time the Future Mother-In-Law asked me … and I told her I suppose you should be asking your son this question. lol …

Post # 51
44 posts
  • Wedding: January 2017

I get this question all the time at family gatherings. I answer it by deflecting the question to my boyfriend of 4.5 years, who’s usually standing right there when the question is asked. While it’s no one’s business, I welcome any opportunity for him to squirm / ask himself why he hasn’t married me yet. 🙂

Post # 52
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016 - Our Castle

We have it on order, along with a copy of manners for dummys, or was if how to be polite for dummies.. either way i hope both come quickly..

Post # 53
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

View original reply
mrsaxachef:  i hated that question, the worst one i got “what are you going to do if he doesnt ask you?” (from co workers) im like why the F did you just say that for?  

when people would ask like an aunt, i would say “ask him”. Its funny how many people asked me instead of him, so when you two getting hitched? what did they expect me to say “oh im going to propose in two months shhhh dont say anything” lol.  

Post # 54
109 posts
Blushing bee

i hate this question so much. It really is people just being nosey. I’m sure you could justify their question by saying they are “caring” but I feel like if you care then juat put yourself in our shoes and wait silently with us. There’s a big difference between “have you talked about it?” And “wheres the ring?”  

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