Post # 1
i wrote a post a while ago about a job interview i had coming up. At the time of the interview, i was 4 and a half months pregnant and not really showing. I decided not to disclose i am pregnant. At the interview, it wasn’t even an issue, they didn’t ask anything that would reveal it anyway. And i was so nervous for the interview that my pregnancy was not really on my mind.
Well, they took a while to get back to me, asked to check my references this week, and just now offered me the job (over email, so i have time to carefully word my reply).
I am so stressed and anxious about telling them i am pregnant, i am not even excited about the job offer. i am now almost 5 and a half months pregnant, due November 4th. It is a full time permanent position with full benefits, in the field i wanted to work in so badly. This could be my job for life. It’s what i have wanted for years and have been working towards.
I was so excited about being pregnant and now i am mad that i am. I am not even feeling excited about the job offer, just stressed.
I want to accept the offer of course, so i am looking for advice on how to tell i am pregnant. Do i explain why i didn’t tell them before? I can say I was waiting for all my prenatal testing to come back and it hadn’t at the time of the interview (which is true). Do I tell them now that i am willing to take the minimum amount of time off for leave when i have the baby? I am thinking 3 months. Most people where I live, in a job like this, would get a year off. Or do i wait and see what they say first about me being pregnant before i start negotiating leave?
i appreciate any insight you can offer.
Post # 3
I don’t see why you have to disclose it in your acceptance of your job. My advice is to accept the job over email and keep copies of the offer email and your response. Then go talk to the HR person about how to proceed given your pregnancy. It’s fine to say you were waiting until testing was over, or just not give any reason at all. You’re completely within your rights to not share personal medical information with anyone.
Post # 4
First of all CONGRATULATIONS!
You need to know a few things: It is illegal for them to discriminate against you, HOWEVER, they may not be required to grant you maternity leave because you won’t have worked at the company for very long by the time you need it. Also, are you on your husband’s health insurance? Most insurance coverage wont’ cover maternity until you’ve been on the insurance for a while. So if you are on your husband’s health insurance now, it probably doesn’t make sense to switch before you have the baby.
You should call you local state labor department. They can give you information regarding your rights against discrimination, in case it becomes an issue. I would make sure to tell them all the things you said here, about how excited you are for this job and how you see yourself there for the long-term. Make sure you ACCEPT the job offer and then give notice of your pregnancy. Dont’ say anything like, “I would like to accept, but first you need to know I’m pregnant”
Post # 5
I think you did the appropriate and professional thing by not disclosing that you were pregnant at that point (and legally, I don’t think they can ask or use that info to make a decision). Maternity leave is a negotiating point like anything else – how much vacation time you get, salary, or work from home. You are not the first pregnant lady to get a job offer, their HR might have dealt with it before so don’t stress too much! Don’t make any apologies for not disclosing earlier, just inform them that you are excited about the offer, and would like to discuss benefits inlcuding maternity leave since you are expecting. Good luck!
Post # 6
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
They offered you the job, you should accept it– being pregnant is something that will come up later when you request leave. I wouldn’t make any formal disclosure until then. Obviously they’re going to know– and if they cared that much about the possibility they would have asked. Most interviewers find osme way to work “family planning” into an interview if it’s something they’re worried about.
As mentioned, you have no obligation to disclose, and if the company is thinking long term, then they probably wont care anyway.
Post # 7
I would second the above PP advice and call your labour board for advice.
They cannot discriminate, however, dependinmg on the job and company, may terminate you without cause for any reason in your first three months. I don’t know if this is the kind of pressure you want while expecting. You will have to kiss some serious ass in your first three months to get through probation.
Post # 8
As others have said, I would accept the job and then discuss the maternity leave stuff later. Don’t apologize for not disclosing, they are not allowed to ask you about family matters during an interview and use that information to discriminate against you.
Post # 9
Congratulations! Thats awesome that you got the job you wanted to badly!
I don’t think you even need to mention it in your acceptance email. Accept the job and ask when you can meet with your boss/HR. you can tell them then and frame it very casually, “I’d also like to discuss maternity leave. I’m due in Nov and would like to hear what policy is. Know that I’m open to discussing the best way to handle me having to take a leave so soon.”
Women get pregnant and it shouldn’t be a huge issues, especially since you sound like you are going to be dedicated to this job. Just keep reassuring them how much you want to work and things should be fine,
Post # 10
thanks everyone. my husband is saying the same thing as all of you.
@Tangled: i guess i should mention i live in Canada. DH does not have insurance at his job, but i am covered for all my prental expenses at the moment by my province’s health care, so that’s not an issue. the bonus of the benefits i will get at this job are things like my prescription medications, eye exam, and dental care. which is awesome! and i can get insurance for my whole family with this job which is alslo awesome.
And i know i looked into maternity leave rights before my interview. i would have needed to work 1600 hours to be eligible (approx 4 months full time). Had they offered the job sooner and i started at the beginning of July, i might have been able to do it. but it is not my biggest concern. If i take only 3 months or so, we will survive.
Post # 11
@dynamic_duo: That’s even better about knowing your maternity leave policies. You can tell them, I know I’m not eligible and I’m okay with coming back after X amount of time. It’ll show them you are dedicated to the job.
Post # 12
What state are you in? I know that at my work, although you will not get FMLA, you will get time off for pregnancy during your first year, unpaid, of course.
You may have to suck it up and only take, at most, a week off. It sucks, but you gotta do what you gotta do. My freshman year of college, I gave a baby up for adoption. I worked/had classes up until a couple days before I went into labor (because it was the weekend), and I was back at work/school 6 days after giving birth. There’s stuff you can use to ease the pain. Granted, I didn’t have to care for a baby, but hopefully you have a mom or other family you all can lean on???
Post # 13
I agree with not mentioning it in your acceptance email. Also, you only need 600 hours (in our area) to pick up 55% of whatever you made in over the past 52 weeks for EI from the government.
I’d be cautious about offering to take only 3 months – you might change your mind once the little guy comes along (hopefully he is healthy and you have an easy recovery but just be careful with offering anything in an email or a letter). Congrats on the job!
ETA: I agree that you need to tell them as soon as you can, I just wouldn’t include it in your acceptance email.
Post # 14
@dynamic_duo: 1600 hours is 10 months, assuming you work 40 hours a week…
Post # 15
It actually would have been illegal for them to ask if you were pregnant, and you would have been able to sue the pants off of them if they had asked, and then not given you the job.
Take the job. After you accept, tell them about your pregnancy. My only concern is that starting a job at this point means no maternity leave. Is there a way for you to negotiate that in? I think telling them that you think this “is your job for life” could go a long way in helping reassure them that you’re not taking the position for 4 months and then bailing.
Post # 16
Oh, you live in Canada, haha. Of course, you have sane and awesome laws regarding maternity leave.
*shakes head in shame in general direction of America*