Post # 1
Okay, so I am having a small restaurant wedding for 40 people, family only. My cousin rsvp’ed yes and then 2 weeks later called me to ask if he could bring his girlfriend and I said yes. Now, 2 weeks later and only 2 weeks before the wedding he has called me again to ask if he can bring his girlfriend’s 2 year old daughter.
1. there will be 3 children at the wedding already, all cousins – a 6 month old baby and two teenage girls.
2. In his voicemail he offered to have the child sit in their lap
3. I really do NOT want a 2 yo running around, esp one that is not family.
Bees, how do I decline him? Or do I acquiesce?
Post # 2
I would say sorry, we have reached our capacity and already turned in our numbers to the restaurant. Please arrange for child care for that evening.
Post # 3
Just say “I’m sorry at this point we cannot accommodate any more guests.”
Post # 4
Agree with PP. Just tell him final numbers are already sent. It’s your wedding, she’s not your family so you have no obligation to say yes, especially this close to the wedding. Don’t feel bad either….it seems like he’s been kind of annoying with changing RSVPs and you have been quite gracious.
Post # 5
Explain to him, that her sitting on his lap isn’t the problem, but that the fire marshal counts her as a person, and the venue is only allowed a certain amount of people by law. You’ve reached that limit.
Post # 6
Haha…my brother is doing this to me too (but thankfully, in my case I’ve got the space & time to accommodate him). In your case, however, if you don’t want the kid there, I don’t think you’d be out of line to stand your ground; you’ve already given in once by allowing him to bring a guest to your small wedding, he’s kinda pushing it here asking for this. I agree with PP that the easiest solution would be to simply cite venue capacity, etc. as the reasoning. If he’s Out of Town, offering to find a reputable sitter would be a nice (although not necesary) gesture.
Post # 7
- Wedding: April 2019 - Undecided
YUP! Nicest way to put it. His girlfriend has already been included, if she can’t get child care she can stay home with her child. Mean but truthful. You are having a small wedding and only invited your cousin.
Post # 8
Do not give in. It could end up ruining your vision of your wedding. I would just say, “I’m sorry, we won’t be able to accommodate her daughter.” I wouldn’t even give a reason or excuse.
Post # 9
Thank you so much for all of the replies!!
I am nervous to make an excuse because there is room and we haven’t turned in a final number. My inclination is to say, “I am sorry that we are not able to host your girlfriend’s daughter, I hope that you can both still make it but if you need to cancel, we’ll miss you but I completely understand.”
He’s already shown that he must understand it’s not cool by offering to have the girl sit in one of their laps but that didn’t stop him from asking and I don’t want to have a fight or make bad feelings.
Post # 10
that sounds like a good way to phrase it that can’t be thrown in your face later!