- 6 years ago
- Wedding: March 2014
Boyfriend or Best Friend and I have a pretty egalitarian relationship. I say this up front to help explain this.
So, all along I’ve been under the same impression, that come a year, give or take, Boyfriend or Best Friend and I would be engaged. I would likely pay for my ring and though I’m struggling with whether I want a diamond or I’d be okay with a moissy, it would be a mutual thing. But I want him to propose in some way so I could have a sweet story. This has been our conversation for a while.
Last night I was procrastinating on Wedding Bee (which Boyfriend or Best Friend knew) and that started a big conversation that started with me talking about the diamond versus moissanite thing and then showing him pictures to explain what an Emerald cut diamond is (he thought all diamonds were round, oh boy). And that grew into a bigger conversation.
In essence, he wants to marry me. He would marry me tomorrow but we both agree that society would think it would be too fast. But then again society would think its too fast that we moved in together after 6 months. And by “society” the only people I care about their judgement is my parents, and my parents were fine with me moving in with Boyfriend or Best Friend which I was very surprised about. But its still a struggle. Boyfriend or Best Friend is concerned that one year is still too short. So that’s point one.
Then he doesn’t know how he feels about my buying my own ring. He likes that he’s dating an empowered woman but feels like its his duty to buy my ring. But we both know he can’t afford it whereas I can. Our finances will combine when we get married, so why does it matter if it comes out of my account or his? He also was talking about that he may have a family ring or that his family may have some close friends in the jewelery business in our area. But he doesn’t know. So I said, well, then you need to ask that of your parents if you’re serious about this. Also in this, he feels that he needs to be better off careerwise and have more money in his bank account — be able to buy my ring — before we get married. Things I’ve all read here before.
So, this whole time when I thought we were going to be very progressive on this and know we would be engaged by August it sounds like he wants this to be more traditional. And now I don’t know how I feel about this. I’m a type-A control freak. Sigh.
Holy long post, batman.