- 7 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
Okay, so I’ll try to make this short..ish. My dad is supposed to pay for the big stuff for our wedding. My Fiance and I got engaged last April and started saving little by little, assuming we’d end up having to pay for all of the wedding. My dad was out of the picture at the time. He moved to Florida when I was in high school, and we never really spoke too much after that. A few visits here and there, etc. We had a huge falling out where we didn’t speak for 2 years, up until last September when my nephew was born. My dad basically snapped out of the daze he was in and realized that he needed to be a part of the family (as he should’ve always been).
After that, a couple months later, he asked me if I would do the honor of allowing him to pay for the wedding. After he kept insisting (even though I gave him a rough number for cost because, let’s face it, our parents have no idea how much a wedding costs these days), I decided that it would be really great and helpful.
So, my Fiance and I started planning and adding a few more things here and there than we previously would’ve had. The wedding is still well under $10k, which I’m really happy about considering how much the average is and what corners we’re cutting to make it happen. We took what we would’ve spent on the wedding and started booking honeymoon stuff. Plane tickets are paid for and half the rooms as well.
Fast forward to now. Wedding is less than 2 months away now, and my dad’s going through some mid-life crisis. Out of nowhere, on Monday, he began FB messaging me and texting me some really hurtful things, saying he’d “send the money” but that he wouldn’t be at my wedding, and “good luck in life, I’m done with you leeches.” You can imagine how hurtful this was for me. I spent the next couple hours crying my head off (and was still at work… uncomfortable, much?) and of course couldn’t get ahold of him on the phone. Now – he’s been known to be really moody occasionally, but there was literally no reason that anyone in my family could fathom for why he was acting this way.
Then the next day, he said, “Had a rough day yesterday. Everything is fine.” Okay… well, I guess I can try to let it slide… til today. He’s doing the same sort of thing to my mother (they’ve been divorced for YEARS). She called me earlier to see if I’d heard from him because he’s being a crazy person again. So now I don’t know what to do.
We don’t have nearly enough to pay the venue, as the rest of the money is due in about a month. We’ve spent the last 8 months counting on him to do this for us (and things have been going GREAT), and now I don’t know that I can trust him to still help us with the wedding. Not only that, but he’s basically disowning everyone and throwing our the re-built relationships out the window for some unknown reason. And – he may not be there to walk me down the aisle, which I’ve been worried wouldn’t happen since day 1 of being engaged.
My Fiance and I figure that we should just go to a bank and try to get a loan. It’s not worth backing out of all the money we’ve already spent (yeah, WE – my dad’s helped a little, but we tried to cover some stuff ourselves). The way I figure it – if he decides to come through, we can use that money to pay back the loan. Otherwise, we may as well just take out a loan and be a little bit in the hole (and I think we’d be able to do monthly payments alright) rather that be totally screwed.
What would you do in this situation? Would you get a loan? Or something else? And if you would, where would you get it from? I don’t know the first place to look :/ Thanks, Bees. I really appreciate it in advance!