Post # 1
- Wedding: September 2014 - Garden outside our church
And not the happy kind of removal. I think it’s time for me to admit that I’m not enough. I’ve wasted 8 years of my life thinking that I was the love of his live, which might me true, but apparently it’s still not enough to commit to a life with me, despite talking about it constantly. I love him more than life, but it’s time to call the waiting game over.
Post # 3
Aww hun! Its not that youre not enough – love isnt enough sometimes! I was with my ex for 5 years and ended it in the same way.
If he like it then he shoulda put a ring on it? (bad joke)
Jokes aside, try not to see years wasted. Im sure you have learned alot about what you want in a partner from this experience as well as what you will accept and wont accept from people. You must have changed a lot in 8 years.
Post # 5
@DrMrsCol: Sorry to hear that… Best of luck to you, I know this has to be hard.
You will again someday be on here once again, your man is still out there waiting for you.
Until then, much love I send your way!
Post # 6
Much love DrMrsCol *big hugs*
Post # 7
Big hugs!!! I’m sorry – I can’t imagine how difficult this must be for you; sending good vibes your way!
Post # 8
Sorry to hear that. Like the PP have said, it’s not that you’re not enough. He’s just not the one. The one puts you as a first priority and tries to give you everything you need. It sounds like he do that. Best of luck.
Post # 9
what happened to your 5/31 timeline???
If you’ve got a passive guy who only made it to the altar twice before due to surprise pregnancies then you’ve gotta do as those women did! No, not get pregnant -haha!
mykife gotta make it clear that time keeps on matching. If he said he’d marry you in 7mos, then you should’ve started budgeting and planning. At that point, he’bed ing held accountable to the timeframe HE agreed to and if he had a problem with it, he was going to have to speak up instead of passively insinuate that he’s not going to do it.
also, your post from two weeks ago said he knew and felt bad about not delivering on his “7mos from now” timeline – but that he’d also forgotten. This is a great reason to believe you’re being string along: he’s not taking the commitment to commit seriously!
But then again, he IS looking to move with you. Maybe he’s very into you but not so into marriage?
If you think his flakiness is a flaw instead of a liability, I would sit him down one more time, tell him you see how committed he is but have this silly need to have a wedding and hope he can love you enough to indulge you one. I would tell him that you’ll need about X months to get it planned and then Shut-It-Up until that time. When the planning timeline begins, start planning even if he hasn’t proposed. But still don’t mention the proposal. At some point mention the timeline for Save-The-Date Cards and invites in hopes that it’ll spur him to propose.
If it doesn’t, then have a pow wow abt what his issue is and re-evaluate if you can handle being with that type of guy. I’m confident you won’t get to that point, though.
Post # 10
I am so sorry to hear this. You are definitely enough and if he is stringing you a long and not marrying you that is his shortcoming not yours.
It takes a strong woman to leave a man she loves when he doesn’t definitively decide to marry her. If marriage is important to you, then stay strong.
Post # 11
I dont think you should ever admit that you aren’t enough! I think he’s just not enough of a man if he can’t make a life-long commitment to you.
Post # 12
So sorry hun! But after 8 years, if marriage is really what you want, it is time to move on. Lots of hugs!
Post # 13
- Wedding: June 2009 - Mountain Meadow/Mansion
I am sorry to hear about what you are going through. I applaud you for having the strength to walk away. You are doing the right thing for yourself by taking care of you! Not that it helps necessarily to hear this now, but I have 2 friends who each left 5 year plus relationships in the last year. Both are already engaged to men who they admit are way better for them than their previous boyfriends were. Sometimes when we let go, we open ourselves up to what the world has waiting for us! Good luck and stay strong!
Post # 14
I am sorry that you’re dealing with this…but kudos for recognizing what YOU need and having the strength to walk away. *hugs*
Post # 15
I am so sorry 🙁 this makes me angry. You have given 8 years of your single life (could have potentially been a married one with someone else) and he can’t commit the rest of his to you. The amount of waiting women have to do for men is so unfair. We unfortunately have timelines and even so after a year I believe you can know if you want to be with someone or not. His loss if he doesn’t figure this out.
Post # 16
🙁 No advice, as PPs have covered it – just love for you. Hugs.