(Closed) I guess it's time to remove me…

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Aww hun! Its not that youre not enough – love isnt enough sometimes! I was with my ex for 5 years and ended it in the same way. 

If he like it then he shoulda put a ring on it? (bad joke)

Jokes aside, try not to see years wasted. Im sure you have learned alot about what you want in a partner from this experience as well as what you will accept and wont accept from people. You must have changed a lot in 8 years.

Post # 4
Member
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I’m so sorry.

Post # 5
Member
597 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@DrMrsCol:  Sorry to hear that… Best of luck to you, I know this has to be hard. 

You will again someday be on here once again, your man is still out there waiting for you. 

Until then, much love I send your way! 

Post # 6
Member
5064 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

Much love DrMrsCol *big hugs*

Post # 7
Member
1059 posts
Bumble bee

Big hugs!!! I’m sorry – I can’t imagine how difficult this must be for you; sending good vibes your way!

Post # 8
Hostess
7560 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

Sorry to hear that. Like the PP have said, it’s not that you’re not enough. He’s just not the one. The one puts you as a first priority and tries to give you everything you need. It sounds like he do that. Best of luck.

Post # 9
Member
46 posts
Newbee

Wait…!

what happened to your 5/31 timeline???

If you’ve got a passive guy who only made it to the altar twice before due to surprise pregnancies then you’ve gotta do as those women did! No, not get pregnant -haha!

mykife gotta make it clear that time keeps on matching. If he said he’d marry you in 7mos, then you should’ve started budgeting and planning. At that point, he’bed ing held accountable to the timeframe HE agreed to and if he had a problem with it, he was going to have to speak up instead of passively insinuate that he’s not going to do it.

also, your post from two weeks ago said he knew and felt bad about not delivering on his “7mos from now” timeline – but that he’d also forgotten. This is a great reason to believe you’re being string along: he’s not taking the commitment to commit seriously!

But then again, he IS looking to move with you. Maybe he’s very into you but not so into marriage? 

If you think his flakiness is a flaw instead of a liability, I would sit him down one more time, tell him you see how committed he is but have this silly need to have a wedding and hope he can love you enough to indulge you one. I would tell him that you’ll need about X months to get it planned and then Shut-It-Up until that time. When the planning timeline begins, start planning even if he hasn’t proposed. But still don’t mention the proposal. At some point mention the timeline for Save-The-Date Cards and invites in hopes that it’ll spur him to propose. 

 

If it doesn’t, then have a pow wow abt what his issue is and re-evaluate if you can handle being with that type of guy. I’m confident you won’t get to that point, though.

 

g’luck, girl!!!

Post # 10
Member
662 posts
Busy bee

I am so sorry to hear this.  You are definitely enough and if he is stringing you a long and not marrying you that is his shortcoming not yours. 

 

It takes a strong woman to leave a man she loves when he doesn’t definitively decide to marry her.  If marriage is important to you, then stay strong.

 

HUGS

Post # 11
Member
1979 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I dont think you should ever admit that you aren’t enough!  I think he’s just not enough of a man if he can’t make a life-long commitment to you.

Post # 12
Member
2959 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

So sorry hun! But after 8 years, if marriage is really what you want, it is time to move on. Lots of hugs!

Post # 13
Member
1380 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009 - Mountain Meadow/Mansion

I am sorry to hear about what you are going through. I applaud you for having the strength to walk away. You are doing the right thing for yourself by taking care of you! Not that it helps necessarily to hear this now, but I have 2 friends who each left 5 year plus relationships in the last year. Both are already engaged to men who they admit are way better for them than their previous boyfriends were. Sometimes when we let go, we open ourselves up to what the world has waiting for us! Good luck and stay strong!

Post # 14
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I am sorry that you’re dealing with this…but kudos for recognizing what YOU need and having the strength to walk away. *hugs*

Post # 15
Member
340 posts
Helper bee

I am so sorry 🙁 this makes me angry. You have given 8 years of your single life (could have potentially been a married one with someone else) and he can’t commit the rest of his to you. The amount of waiting women have to do for men is so unfair. We unfortunately have timelines and even so after a year I believe you can know if you want to be with someone or not. His loss if he doesn’t figure this out.

Post # 16
Member
986 posts
Busy bee

🙁 No advice, as PPs have covered it – just love for you. Hugs.

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